I wondered if I could please have some advice. I don't want to ask my friends or family at the moment, as it seems so silly.
I was with my ex for a long long time. We were engaged and had a wedding booked. I then lost my dad and the grief just consumed me. My ex worked a lot and I wasn't a priority. We broke up last feb but soon got back together and made it work. In August however we broke up and I moved out in October.
Pretty much straight away he removed all pictures of me from that year (all others are there), removed me from social media and was out dating - very sadly from people our 'mutual' friends (NOT NOW) had set him up with. He acted fine, he acted cold when I would just sit and cry. From December for over 2 months I blocked him, I just didn't want someone to be like that with me when I still loved them. I reached out, I expressed how I felt to no avail. At the start of March, my mum asked for something on my behalf as I hadn't spoken to him - his response to her was that it was a shame that I didn't decide to reach out myself as it had been some time and he would always care for me..... So I rang him and said that it wasn't me trying to be unfair, but it had been some time and I believed it to be the best approach. 4 weeks ago, he had me in tears as he rang shouting at me and during that conversation told me he had met someone and was very happy. He hadn't gone looking for her but she 'fell on his lap' and he was enjoying it.
With the current pandemic, he has gone different. He will reply to messages, check in with how I am and if I need something and he has a missed call, he will call me back. One thing that is bizzare is that he has said to me 'he wishes I could just leave it on a nice message (as we often argue) where I make him smile, as the door is then open for future communication', 'that he loved me deeply'....but then the next sentence goes back to him being happy, him dating, his closest people knowing about her. He will then contradict again and say how he hasn't posted any pictures or shared where they have been, as he doesn't want to upset me and never will. Even if he was getting married, he would still not want to upset me. How he wishes he had an app on his phone where he could check if I was ok each day, how he doesnt want to not have pictures of me as I was the happiest years of his life, how I should add him on social media as he wants to know i'm happy - and when he feels it is right he will accept...and we should now be at the point where we can meet and go for coffee.
I love this man deeply, I never stopped, but I can't help but feel he is very confused. I have asked for a copy of a letter recently regarding our old home and he has ignored me, but If I had text for example saying I was blocking him, he would just ring me right away. Why does he fluctuate so much with being kind and then not being so nice? Am I best to just block him on everything and move forward? Why does he feel the need to tell me that he is 'happy' with someone?