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joe89

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About joe89

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  1. joe89

    Deceit

    Some of these messages are bringing tears to my eyes. I am in bits but know the muddy waters will clear. I just felt she was the one at the age I am at. We had views places to live to rent recently. That's how close we were to living together. She was pushing for it more than me as much as she could. She really wanted it. She had thought I was the one. Would it be wise to block her? We have ended on good terms. A possibility at rekindling and restarting again. But a reality that we havent worked. The love is there from both of us. The realisation that we have different thi
  2. joe89

    Deceit

    Thanks for all the advice. I really appreciate anyone taking the time to write something. I agree with the points. Sometimes I can put other people down if there is an issue i have with them. Our similarities are rare. We share different hobbies. Different outlooks... she spends spends I would save to buy a house. I see this in her family, it's all flash new cars etc...an image. I am not into material things. We had similar dreams. And it hurts to think these dreams wont come true. I am having a terrible mix of emotions now.
  3. joe89

    Deceit

    Yes perhaps. Maybe I put up with these things because she was stunning and she was kind a lot of the time. I wanted to build my future around her... She told me months ago when she was diagnosed with depression and anxiety that she will always have it. And that I may not be able to handle it. I'm heartbroken that's it's all fallen apart.
  4. joe89

    Deceit

    I would be reluctant to wait and keep contact for 2 or 3 months for her to say to me why did you wait.. I plan on no contact. And trying to sleep to some extent my head is frazzled.
  5. joe89

    Deceit

    Reluctantly apologised. I had to ask her. The always left her phone around me. Something I never do. I knew her pin as she gave it to me always handed me her phone if I wanted to look up something or pick a song in the car. Same with her laptop. Never hid those. 2 weeks ago she gave me her Instagram account details out of nowhere as she wanted me to correspond with a person she was buying tickets off for a concert. Again I personally wouldnt do that for any reason really. She constantly treated me to things. Well that was mutual. She was so kind to me. She also told me yestersy
  6. joe89

    Deceit

    I suppose I wouldnt allow myself to be pushed around. I would never lay a finger on anyone. I would get angry ie smoking or other things, sometimes the she is treated by a family member of hers I would get very annoyed and almost force my opinion. One evening a few months she did hit me. Which really upset me. On a night out a few weeks back. My malw friend and I were talking and my gf lambasted me after. Ignored me then for half an hour said I was talking about girls. Which we weren't. Later she spoke to a random guy who came up to her. I said nothing. I wasnt jealous. I tried to ex
  7. joe89

    Deceit

    Yes. I can make a lot of decisions. Before I have been controlling but in this relationship not so much. When I discovered she was smoking I was dismayed . I told her she should stop. After a week I realised I cant stop her. And I joked about her smoking. I have matured a lot from past relationships . Yes I can be aggressive in arguments.
  8. joe89

    Deceit

    I am 31. She is 26 going on 27 soon. I have some good close friends and family that I have contacted already and talking is helping. One has said run for the hills! I dont see the girl that I thought I knew anymore. It's a different person.
  9. joe89

    Deceit

    Thanks so much for the advice. Her looks, kindness and love. She craves love. I have never seen anything like it. She has had abandonment issues as a child. She was neglected to an extent in a family, the middle child. This has come up in her counselling sessions. They have majority been about childhood traumas. I have not asked many questions as she doesnt want to re hash her sessions. Our last point of contact she told me she is scared and lonely. She has never been alone in 9 Years. Either has had boyfriends or people onto her. She says we may not be compatible. She holds
  10. joe89

    Deceit

    She admits to being wrong now and lying. She tells me I dont deserve it but she finds it hard when I argue with her. I see it as standing up for myself, not being a doormat. She sees it as controlling. I will not be contacting her in the near future. She has turned my world upside down. She has said she doesn't know what will happen that she still loves me and is a mess right now. She needs to love herself. She feels alone and scared. I blame myself a bit for not understanding her depression more. I have been told she is delicate and fragile. Yet what I have seen of her the past few mon
  11. Hi guys, I am a 31 M that is recently broken up with a 27 F after a 2 year relationship. It started off amazingly as all things do and we did so much together. We were different in our interests but similar in our desires to settle down and build a life for each other after a few months. We saved money to build our future and constantly talk about kids etc After a year and a bit things took a dip. We argued a bit. Her saying I was controlling and her showing an aggressive streak. Two trips away were almost ruined and I could not recognise the person before me. 6 months ago she was diagno
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