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Avy

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  1. Glitterfingers... that sounds very reasonable. And also affirms my fear that we may not be compatible. Mandeelove.... we are happy in so many ways. We are both doers. We enjoy doing things together and having companionship. I think that is all he needs to be happy. We have passion and connection in that way. And we share similar interests. I love all of that. But I also need a deep reaffirmation on occasion (about every fortnight or so would be ideal), and maybe a more frequent exuberant expression of how wonderful I am (yes I did type that and yes it's embarrassing to do so!)
  2. Mandeelove,... I have a very full life outside of my SO. I work full time. Have children. (Not his). Have good friends who I see regularly. I work out, go to theatre, enjoy nature, go to music gigs..... I do quite a lot, for a sole carer of children. I would do much more if I didn't have them (no criticism of them - just a commentary on my zest for life). I truly am a very well rounded, independent, woman. But I am totally hung up lately on my relationship. I can't work it out. It perplexes me. Does my need of him mean I love him totally? Or does it mean something is wrong? It's eating me up i
  3. glitterfingers.... that all sounds very familiar. I'm a deep person by nature. I need to feel the underlying truth of a situation or it does not feel real to me. Mt SO on the other hand recently told me he hates serious and deep stuff. I kinda froze. He was talking about music to be fair. But I took it to be more than that and felt scared we were uncompatible. Only because it's the first time I felt like that. He told me once he never met anyone that needed such an emotional connection before. For me, I don't understand how one can have a relationship without an emotional connection. However,
  4. Rainy and Claire.. thank you for replying. I agree that this is MY issue. I step back objectively and realise I'm being silly, but the subjectiveness of my current mental state soon clouds that. I am trying to get all the help I can and to pester my SO as little as possible. He actually has no idea I feel quite like this. Because I keep it from him. To save him the hastle of having to deal with me which he obviously does not want to do. But then I'm left flailing. Is it ok to expect more support for these issues from one's SO? I am truly not usually like this and used to get seriously annoyed
  5. It sounds to me like this guy decided, for whatever reason, that he did not want a relationship with you and had tried to slow it down over the last few months hoping it would peter out. Don't text him again. Not even to say goodbye. Just convince yourself it is over. Accept that the next few weeks will hurt, but then you will be fine again. This is not a relationship that will last
  6. I'm suffering from terrible relationship anxiety. I honestly don't know if it's coming from me (I do suffer from anxiety and am currently on medication and going to counselling), or whether it is a result of me needs not being met in my relationship. I feel the need for my SO to reassure me. A lot. But he doesn't at all really. He seems to think that my insecurity is my issue and I should get over it on my own. He once said that otherwise it would be a codependent relationship. Maybe he is right. But I feel alone. And lost. And so agitated with nowhere to turn for help or reprieve. I'm trying
  7. This guy is a no no. An absolute no no. He is undoubtedly using you and you WILL end up supporting him, or paying him off with half of your everything when you divorce. Don't bother with the unexciting guy either. He's a better bet than the marriage proposal, but not much better. No body wants to live out their days bored and unexcited.
  8. Hi C I wonder if it's possible to delay the wedding for a bit until you and your Fiancee are more certain about whether you truly want to be together. I know it's very difficult because plans are in motion and it impacts so many people, but in my experience it is definitely worth the upset. I was in a similar situation many moons ago in that my then Fiance and I were both feeling unsure that we should get married. But we had a child and so we just decided to do it and hope for the best. We divorce 10 years later. I cannot say for sure that the divorce was related to our then uncertainty. Bu
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