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LHGirl

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LHGirl last won the day on June 17 2019

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About LHGirl

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  1. I'm in the big, shiny ring camp, but I'm not her. I've been engaged many times (yes, many lol), and I've always chosen the ring, except once when it was a family heirloom (beautiful, and yes, I returned it to him). My point is, I had involvement in each one, which I really appreciated. So I'd get her involvement, and since you two have children, agree on a budget. Get some ideas from her via some screenshots, shapes, etc., and then you take it from there, within that budget. I've always worked within whatever budget my then-fiancé set and was always a happy customer. Oh, and I love y
  2. It sounds like you both just wanted casual sex. It also sounds like he went to the bathroom to "take care" of himself. He may not have wanted to risk STD's with you. Again, shows at least some decency of character. Just keep swiping right on Tinder, and you'll find your sex somewhere else.
  3. She can only "hoover" you back if you allow her. Keep your communications extremely brief, and to written email communication only. Block her from your phone so she cannot text. If she emails you with some sob story, simply respond with the answer to her question, only. "I'll send payment on the 23rd". Period!!! The fact that you are still allowing her to do this shows that you haven't gotten to the reason you allow it. Without typing my entire other post again, please, find a therapist who is well-versed in this stuff and can help you get to the root of it.....your childhood.....as
  4. He knows this. He knows you would've done it. You were trying to touch him "there", and he stopped it. Shows he has some character. You left him nothing to work towards. No challenge. Just, invite her over, get her into bed, and......she's just like a zillion other girls out there who'll have sex with me on the first meet. Next. Nothing to be confused about here.
  5. So, I know you don't want to hear this, but I'll be a little blunt here: making sushi at his house and going into his bedroom to "watch a film" was all code for him wanting sex. That's 3rd date or later kind of stuff. First time meeting? Always a public place, always a coffee, a glass of wine, maybe some appetizers. Maybe dinner if it feels right. But never, never, never go into someone's home that you haven't already met. I know, you probably googled the heck out of him, you felt safe, yada yada. It's still not a good idea. Let's say he's the safest guy in the world.....you still
  6. Contact a suicide hotline and explain the situation. If they feel it a necessity, they will work with the proper authorities for his protection. Any suicide threat should be taken very seriously, and you will have done the right thing. And oh yeah, block him right now.
  7. The only way to heal from this is to figure out the root cause of why you've accepted all of this: the blocking, unblocking, hoovering, lovebombing..... No, it's not possible to diagnose someone via the internet, but you've uncovered some completely unacceptable, disgracious behavior that others would have walked away from the first time it happened. Yet you came back, time after time, because each time, he made it seem like things would be so wonderful, now. Until it happened again, and again, and again. I'm not bashing you. I've been you. I have pages of a thread here about my own
  8. OP, I think this is great insight from smJackson, given that she has been diagnosed with BPD herself. It is highly rare for a person who has been actually diagnosed with a Cluster B disorder to have the insight to not only admit it, but to openly talk about it, and from such a place of understanding. smJackson isn't the focus of this thread, but I want to point out how much this post resonated with me, as I hope it will with you, OP. She is giving you great insight as to the mind of your ex, and the "jump through hoops" games that they play. As I had said earlier, think back into your ch
  9. People match with their exes all the time on Tinder and all other "matching" type sites, which is basically......all of them. It's basically just age, location, gender, and.....voila.....a match. I joked that on one site, there was no one left to whom I hadn't already been married, lol. Just unmatch from him and move on. Yes, he's keeping you as an option. You're better than an option.
  10. Here's the thing about diagnosing her disorder, and how it's relevant for you, and what you should be discovering in therapy: Who in your life (parent, etc.) does this remind you of? Is there anyone else in your life for whom you have walked on eggshells, or been impossible to please? The thing about trying to figure out the disorder of the person you're with is that very often, we stay with them to try and fix what was broken from childhood. So if you don't get to the root of that childhood issue, you'll just find another "eggshell" woman, and you'll go through this for the rest of your
  11. People like this are....like this. No amount of talking to her is going to make a difference. She needs an outlet to whom she can gloat, and you provide her with that ear, so you fulfill her need. I have a “friend” exactly like this. Exactly. I’ve had to back way, way off on our friendship, so now I only see her in group settings, very infrequently, and I edit what I tell her. She has now moved to the periphery of my life, rather than being a major presence, so I’m not affected by it anymore. And yes, she does have all the money/men/looks that she claims to have, but she uses it
  12. I understand your feelings here. I'd tell her that you aren't fond of this, and that you hope she respects your wishes to stop wearing it. Additionally, I'd offer her this option: let's sell it, and use the money towards another ring that I'll help with so that that ring comes from me. Not another wedding band, but a nice ring that she can wear on that finger.
  13. Texas is a community property state. All assets acquired during the marriage are equally split. You should/could also expect to get a 50% custody agreement. Texas is a no-alimony state, so no, you would not be entitled to spousal support, or alimony. Which is why it's really important for you to have a job if/when this dissolves.
  14. Just because you're related by blood to someone does not obligate you to feel anything. If he didn't step up in the last 26 years, of course you'd feel nothing for him. There's no shame in this. As for your half-sister, you can express your sympathies to her. Not that I think you would do this, but keep your own feelings about him private. If others have sad feelings about his passing, let them grieve.
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