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About TheKirkC

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  1. I have to strongly disagree with almost everything that ExperiencedDad has to say. Just putting that out there...
  2. I just want you here to laugh with. We had such fun! Goddammit I miss you!
  3. Ok, boson222, this sounds like trolling to me!!! Feeling better!?!? Sounds as believable as finding Sasquatch!! But, seriously, I'm glad it's better. We all KNOW it will get better, just sucks until we FEEL that way. Keep up the good fight!
  4. Well, we were together for 5 months and it was great. I had never had someone so caring before. The abuse she suffered showed up in weird ways, like she spilled a drink at my place once and was almost in tears apologizing for doing it while trying to clean it up. She overly apologized for everything even though there was nothing to apologize for. If you want to read about my story, it's over in the abuse and violence forum. Sadly Anna Bell, there is nothing I can do. I have to let her go and hope she figures it out someday. If I was to keep trying, I would be the stalker no matter what my inte
  5. Lol! God, you make me laugh! Remember the time...oh, you know. Hope you had a great day. Miss you, baby....
  6. Thanks Anna Bell! I wish her well too. BTW, I ain't perfect, but I'm trying! A long term abused person needs LOTS of counseling. It also takes an average of 7 times to finally leave the abuser for good. Awful stats! I am here because I'm hurt and trying to heal correctly. NC and all. Lots of good people here and it's nice to know you are not alone. 7billion people in the world, there HAS to be at least one that will be all we need to happy, and vice versa. It's the pain that sucks so badly. But it will pass. It just sucks in the meantime. I hurt too, but these forums help so much. Actually goo
  7. Anna Bell, Whew! Listen to these people! This advice is dead on the money. I can only comment on your situation from a different perspective. I fell in love with someone who had been in an abusive marriage for 20 years. The abuse was horrible because she never left early when she could have. We had a fantastic relationship after she left him and her divorce was to be final this month. Out of the blue, she ran back to him to "try to save her marriage". She's been abused so long, a normal relationship just doesn't compute. I don't want you to get to that point. This womam I speak of is FANTAST
  8. Hey Dominique! Just a random internet stranger wishing you strength. I know you're hurting still but soldiering on. That's so admirable! You are stronger than you think. I send you light and love as well!
  9. Thank you very much. Yep, you are correct. She has almost no friends, wasn't allowed to have them. It's just sad all the way around. As far as my negative thoughts go, I do recognize them as wrong. They won't last forever. It's just this beginning part of any break-up is the toughest. Thank you also for sharing your story. Lots of parallels! It helps knowing that one is not alone in a situation. And please know that I am not a smack her around kind of guy. I realize it's "do me" time, I just have to get on with it!
  10. I have to agree with ThatWas Then, give therapy another chance. These seem to be things that you should address with a trained professional.
  11. I have to ask: are you trolling or serious?
  12. You are right, and I know it. I would say the exact same thing to someone else in my shoes. It's the subjectivity that makes this viewpoint hard at this time. Time and making good life decisions will fix this. Not to mention, having bad thoughts like,"So, if I'd slapped her around and degraded her, would she have stayed since she would think that all people are like this?" Don't worry, not in my nature. And it just seems exhausting! Bad day at work, tired, get home and now I have to beat her too?! What a chore!
  13. You all know the self-esteem issues that go with being dumped. Am I only good enough for someone who is damaged, who will still leave me for said abuser no matter how good I am? What does it say about ME that someone would choose that over me? So, if I meet someone who is pretty together, low drama head on straight, how could she even find me worthwhile if someone would prefer being slapped around and called disgusting than being with me? I know these thoughts are incorrect, but it's what's swirling around in my head. Again, thanks for letting me vent.
  14. Thank you Dominique! I don't have any other drama in my life i.e. court stuff, so I'm sending love and light back your way Yep, it's just no fun as you well know. You all probably know this, but the brain registers psychological pain in the same area as physical pain. That's what causes that stupid heart ache and punch in the gut feeling. For some reason that makes me feel better as to the why I feel like this. As well as the brain releasing dopamine (as well as other chemicals) for pleasure when you are in love. So when you have a break-up, it stops releasing them and you go through withdraw
  15. Thanks Raggie. I know, the counselor's suggestion was very strange. All sources show that the abused should go to therapy alone. It's just that in every profession, there are some who suck at it. Thanks again!
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