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LaHermes

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Posts posted by LaHermes

  1. 55 minutes ago, Jibralta said:

    But both genders have equal capacity for emotion and reason. 

    Totally agree Jib. And the emotionally labile exist in both genders. 

    57 minutes ago, Jibralta said:

    I think crazy men like crazy women. And together, they breed crazy children.

    Yes. 

  2. 1 hour ago, Lambert said:

    Silent treatment, unreasonable anger, pouting and basically being a jerk over something so stupid is not friendship. is there something else going on with her?  I would ask her that, too.

     

    38 minutes ago, Kwothe28 said:

    People who have not much going on, especially people who got used to get by alone in life, develop a certain selfish side. Meaning that they get unable to see the other side of the argument and get agitated

    That's about it. 

    I agree it would have been better not to have said you saw the Squid. On the other hand maybe it jolted you into seeing if this is the type of friend you want/need. 

    • Like 2
  3. Just now, Tinydance said:

    Not that many people like horror

    Heh heh Tiny.  I do, by which I mean supernatural "horror" . Then again given my time constraints haven't seen one in a long time. Not many are fit to keep the tension going and retain the atmosphere without going overboard.

    It's what you don't see that is more frightening than the in your face stuff.

    .. 

    • Like 1
  4. Well, Tiny, I think she just needs to get over herself. Going into a snit at her age is very childish.

    Btw way I had to look up what this Squid thing is. Lol.

    Hope you get the damage to your car sorted out. Very annoying. 

    If I get to see a full hour of TV a day that's about it.  On the move so much I suppose and out in the real world.  

    You could be right about this:

    "Everyone has different tastes. I feel like if this show wasn't Korean would she even care that much? I feel like she develops an obsession with a show and then she takes it really personally."

     

     

    • Like 1
  5. 28 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

    this is not a man who shares those goals. He prefers an off the cuff, freestyle, hedonistic lifestyle. Right now his family finances these pursuits.

    Think carefully if you want to support him and not have a mature deserving involved partner.

    Fully agree Wise.

    I am still somewhat puzzled as to why this fixation on seeing whether he will propose or not. That is wholly beside the point.  What woman in her right mind would WANT this individual.

    • Like 2
  6. 11 hours ago, boltnrun said:

    She wants a solid man with a solid job who is ready to be a husband and father relatively soon-ish. And the boyfriend wants to live on the edge with his father footing the bill while he travels and gets tattoos.

    Here we have the heart of the matter. 

    The current "BF" is never going to be solid, hard-working, centred, grounded or anything else.

    You said, and I repeat:

    "A lot of my friends love him and us together so it's hard to get good opinions. 

    Your friends say what they want to say, what suits them to say and all that. What is important here is your choice now, going forward, and that you clear your vision so that you can see him for what he is. 

    • Like 1
  7. 1 hour ago, moodindigo91 said:

    A lot of my friends love him and us together so it's hard to get good opinions. 

    Well you sure are getting good opinions here! And the hard facts of the matter are the hard facts. 

    What your friends might love isn't going to bring home the bacon!  Your friends (if they are aware of the underlying miserable problem) don't seem to have much discernment. 

    I echo Bolt's remark:

    "I'm sure there are a lot of stable, hard working men who would be delighted to have a woman like you as their wife."

    • Like 1
  8. 11 minutes ago, moodindigo91 said:

    I at least want to hear from him directly he's not wanting marriage anymore. So idk. I honestly dk what to do now

    Yes you do know full well what to do!

    What difference does it make whether he wants marriage "any more"?!  Supposing he were to propose tomorrow, would you marry him?  I have a dreadful feeling you probably would.  You seem completely blind to the fact that your life would be ruined, shackled to an idle freeloader, an aimless drifter, with no care for anyone but himself.  He has no dignity or self-respect.

    What about you? Could you/would you respect yourself if you took on this load of lead?

     

     

     

  9. On 9/20/2021 at 5:11 PM, moodindigo91 said:

    I also hate feeling dependent on others financially. 

    And that is a very healthy outlook OP.

    Yet here you are (still) contemplating a life with an individual who has absolutely no problem whatsoever with depending financially on his father, or to be more accurate sponging off his Dad.  And sponging off you as and when that occasion arises. 

    You have objectives in life.  He doesn't.  He'll drift through life, aimless, maybe even drift abroad, provided Dad forks out enough for him to travel abroad and live there. 

    • Like 1
  10. 22 hours ago, Kharris 90 said:

    He tells me she's better looking than me and fitter than me (thinner)

    I cannot believe OP that you would even contemplate remaining with this man.  The fact that he would even SAY such a thing to his wife!

    I endorse what DF says:

    20 hours ago, DancingFool said:

    get a pitbull lawyer and get a divorce. Life won't be easy, but it will be that much harder on you if you try to cling on to this lousy excuse for a man. Also, do this for your children. Divorce is less damaging to them than watching dad cheat on mom

     

    • Like 1
  11. 9 hours ago, moodindigo91 said:

    It's just frustrating. I invested time and energy into this and it really took a lot of my energy to contribute to this relationship in addition to law school and my dog, not to mention the death of a friend and my mother having cancer. It has been rough. So idk. I feel frustrated that's all lol 

    It's far more than frustrating Brie. It's destructive.  Why do you want to continue with this unstable individual?  I fail to see where any discussion with him would get you. Simply more waste of time. It isn't about marrying or not marrying. Why, on earth, would you even want to marry this individual.  

  12. Easy on there, Steve! You came on here seeking advice and all the posters, not just I, gave you advice. No one is "triggered" and you seem very much on edge, which is not surprising considering your situation.

    I cannot tell you how to save your marriage.  WE can only go by what you write, words up here on a screen, and your description of your situation does not bode well.

    So instead of sounding off at me then perhaps both you and your wife might consider seeing a counsellor, face to face, an objective third party and see what s/he can do to help you.

    2 hours ago, Stevelewis said:

    Everytime I talk to her she gets upset and I am being very fair and understanding. I work over 40 hours a week and am stuck with these responsibilities on my own. We are running out of money and my credit cards are maxed because of this. 

    You said this. We didn't. 

    • Like 1
  13. 1 hour ago, Stevelewis said:

    I am really starting to feel used and not respected.

    1 hour ago, Stevelewis said:

    refuses to seek any type of employment.

    Your life, your problem Steve. You asked for advice and you got it.

    You ARE being used and disrespected and well you know it. But you'll keep going anyhow. 

    She is 35, not a child who has to be pushed and shoved into action. 

    Anyhow, OP, you will only see what you want to see. I just do not understand you, at all. 

    1 hour ago, Stevelewis said:

    sleeps in late and basically does nothing all day.

    It is pointless trying to "talk " to her.  Of course she gets "upset". She doesn't want to lose the sweet deal she has with you. 

  14. 17 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

    What's more important to you...being proposed to or actually marrying the right person?

    Such an important question Bolt.  It is important that you clarify and get your mind on top of the evident confusion you are experiencing Brie.

    And what has this to do with anything, OP?!  Do not compare yourself to anyone. That is their life and if that's how they want it so be it. 

    55 minutes ago, moodindigo91 said:

    A lot of my friends are in long-term relationships with their boyfriends who do not propose and even have children with them in some cases.

    Believe me, OP, when it is the right man it matters not a whit WHERE he proposes, even if it is in a car park!

  15. 25 minutes ago, moodindigo91 said:

    If I grew up that way, I'd probably think very similarly to him. There is part of me that wonders why it is that I want to be married so badly in the first place

    What I can see from your posts, Brie, is how desperately confused you are.  Otherwise you wouldn't utter remarks like these! No you would NOT think similarly to him even if you were brought up wealthy. I know of many people from wealthy families who do not sponge of their parents, who work hard and made their way in the world on their OWN merit. Of course there is something wrong with him. He is a free-loader, drifting through life, aimless and basically useless.  Sponging off his father!

    So, what you are actually saying is that you'd marry just about anyone (including this individual) just to be married! 

    Tinydance has laid it out PLAIN for you:

    2 hours ago, Tinydance said:

    No job, no marriage proposal. There's nothing actually stopping him but he just doesn't want these things. He actually told you this himself. He said he wasn't sure about your relationship and he wasn't going to propose. I think you have all the answers already.

    Try not to deceive yourself, Brie.  Get help to find out why you would settle for just anything. Dignity and self-respect are the most  valuable asset you will ever have. 

    And btw, what's to stop you living and working abroad yourself, on your own, if you feel that you would like that. 

    You are educated. Pick a country, go there and get as much experience of life as you can. 

    • Like 1
  16. 14 minutes ago, Stevelewis said:

    sleeps in late and basically does nothing all day. Social media, mostly and sitting on the new computer talking to friends. 

    Surely, OP, you were aware of her tendencies before you married her?  Did you not make these important aspects crystal clear before getting married? I take it she moved in with you because you got married to her? 

    The situation surely cannot go on like this and all I can say is that you may have to end this marriage. 

    You got had, OP!  By the looks of it. 

     

    • Like 1
  17. Back almost two years ago DF said this to you, and you were also advised then to consult a divorce lawyer.

    "Unfortunately, you married quite a piece of work. Can you pack up yourself and your child and go spend some time with your family or a supportive friend so you can clear your head a bit and figure out what you want to do? It honestly sounds that with a personality like his, your only option is divorce. He will pick apart your child the same way, so please don't use the stay married to an a hole for the sake of the kids excuse."

    And here you are again, Lisa.  And as in other threads you are not engaging or responding to us.

    For some incomprehensible reason you are still in this abusive marriage, two more years on.   Why?

    And I feel this is not the way to go.

    " I’ve come to deeply hate all of them. "

    You may well need the support of your family once you leave your dreadful marriage. They may be at some distance, in another State, (about 550 miles?) but it isn't a huge distance either.

    You ask:

    " I just want an explanation as to why I’m ostracized from family events"

    Why do YOU think this is so?

  18. 7 hours ago, triceps said:

    I'm really falling for this girl and don't want to lose her

    What's so great about her, OP? There are many women from wealthy families and they don't behave like this!  They have manners!

    7 hours ago, triceps said:

    She was really irritable in the car complaining about me not washing the inside and to cut in front of another driver, but I just stayed silent to avoid any further conflict. When we got to the place she didn't want to get out and wanted to go back home saying there was nothing I could do for her now and just to drop her off.

    Please, as other posters have advised, do yourself a big favour and get rid of her. She is a nightmare! 

    And btw where is YOUR self-respect that you allow yourself to be treated this way?

    • Like 2
  19. The OP stated in December 2016

    "I'm muslim as well but I consider myself very liberal. "

    And also stated that she is not treated well by either her husband or his family.

    OP. You truly need to get your life in order. Get a divorce and get a proper life for yourself, on your own.  Please respond to the posters.

    (Just to remark that there are Christian Arabs, and non-Arabs who are Muslims. The OP and husband are Muslims).

    Your entire situation makes for very sad reading OP. September 2017 you said here:

    "he (your husband) said everyone knows this is a sham marriage because you got pregnant. I thought we got married out of love but apparently it was out of duty for him."

    You come here time and time again but do not engage with us. You know full well it is time to divorce and go your own way.  You live in the U.S.A. I see.   See a lawyer and get yourself organised.

     

  20. 6 hours ago, moodindigo91 said:

    he told me he WAS going to propose to me during our trip to Greece

    I utterly fail to see what the location has to do with proposing.  And you don't tell someone you are GOING to propose to them in xyz location.  You either propose or you don't. 

    6 hours ago, moodindigo91 said:

    He (although he has no money of his own right now that I am aware of except crypto assets) made an appointment to get a half sleeve in January

    He seems not quite right in the head or else is stunted at age 14. What attraction could such a being hold for ANY WOMAN, I ask. 

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