I have been in a relationship for just under 3 years with my partner she is 32 and I’m 31. We both met on a dating site.
At the start of the relationship, we saw each other every weekend as she lived in London working as a live-in au pair and I lived 2 hours away so I use to drive down and pick her up and she’d come back to mine.
After 7 months of being with her, she fell pregnant which was a shock to both of us as she was told by a doctor in Romania ( where she is originally from) a few years previous before she came to live here that she’d never be able to get pregnant. She did the pregnancy test with me one weekend and my reaction after finding out was shock and lots of things going through my head all at once. I wasn’t bouncing up and down with joy I wasn’t planned for this moment.
We weren’t living together, I was renting a room in a house share which meant I’d need to hurry up and find someone else to live for us to live together, I was also thinking is this too early in the relationship to have a baby with her. So I asked the question what are we going to do do you think this is too early to have a baby? and how do you feel? She wasn’t happy at all that I asked those questions she was angry at me and expected me to be jumping for joy but like I said I was in shock.
During the time that she was pregnant, I’d book days off work to go with her to the pregnancy scans and tests that she needed to have which were in London. I wanted to be with her and to show her some support but leading up to the scan which revealed if we were having a boy or girl she was angry at me and told me that she never wanted to see me again because according to her I’m a piece of and I don’t care about her nor our baby even though I put a lot of effert in every time she had a scan or doctors appoint in London to be with her ( This was all because of my reaction at finding out that she was pregnant) which wasn’t true at all.
Before I got on the train to London to go to the scan appointment ( revealing the sex of our baby) I phoned her to say that I’m on my way but she didn’t answer and eventually turned her phone off so i sent her a text message instead. I decided that there was no way that I’ll miss this appointment which I had been looking forward to for weeks so I got on the train spent just over 2 hours travelling to the hospital for her to call me back when I arrived in London and say that she has cancelled the appointment. I was heartbroken and thought how can she do this to me I hadn’t done anything to deserve this. I phoned the hospital to confirm that the appointment had been cancelled and they told me that it hadn’t so when she eventually arrived at the hospital she was shocked that I was there and at first she didn’t want me to come into the room with her. Eventually, I followed her in and got to find out the sex of our baby “ a boy “I was over the moon and couldn't stop smiling.
Fast forward to now our son is 14 months old and we are all living together, however, the relationship is at a dead end. She is constantly angry and depressed but refuses to get help. She still calls me a piece of and that I’m the worse dad in the world saying that I don't care about her or our son and calls our son my son and sometimes tells me our son isn’t my son ( telling me also that I'm not he'd dad) and that I need to change his surname. He looks just like me when I was his age so I know she is just trying to mess with my head. When I tell her I’m going to get a DNA test she twists things and says that I don’t think he is my son and that she never said what she said. She has also told me to go and kill myself.
On an odd day she is completely different and tells me how much she loves me and that I’m a great dad and then she is back to her normal self.
I want out of this relationship but she is persisting that I need to change our son's surname for her to leave the relationship or for me to leave the relationship. I have nowhere to go and nor does she unless she moves back to live with her mum in Romania which would mean I’d never see my son again as she wouldn’t tell me her address.
She has messed my head up so much its effecting everything I do now I can’t concentrate at work and can’t relax at home. I pay all the bills and can’t afford to move out and pay 2 lots of bills.
What should I do??