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time4takeoff

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  1. I have been in a relationship for just under 3 years with my partner she is 32 and I’m 31. We both met on a dating site. At the start of the relationship, we saw each other every weekend as she lived in London working as a live-in au pair and I lived 2 hours away so I use to drive down and pick her up and she’d come back to mine. After 7 months of being with her, she fell pregnant which was a shock to both of us as she was told by a doctor in Romania ( where she is originally from) a few years previous before she came to live here that she’d never be able to get pregnant. She did the pregnancy test with me one weekend and my reaction after finding out was shock and lots of things going through my head all at once. I wasn’t bouncing up and down with joy I wasn’t planned for this moment. We weren’t living together, I was renting a room in a house share which meant I’d need to hurry up and find someone else to live for us to live together, I was also thinking is this too early in the relationship to have a baby with her. So I asked the question what are we going to do do you think this is too early to have a baby? and how do you feel? She wasn’t happy at all that I asked those questions she was angry at me and expected me to be jumping for joy but like I said I was in shock. During the time that she was pregnant, I’d book days off work to go with her to the pregnancy scans and tests that she needed to have which were in London. I wanted to be with her and to show her some support but leading up to the scan which revealed if we were having a boy or girl she was angry at me and told me that she never wanted to see me again because according to her I’m a piece of and I don’t care about her nor our baby even though I put a lot of effert in every time she had a scan or doctors appoint in London to be with her ( This was all because of my reaction at finding out that she was pregnant) which wasn’t true at all. Before I got on the train to London to go to the scan appointment ( revealing the sex of our baby) I phoned her to say that I’m on my way but she didn’t answer and eventually turned her phone off so i sent her a text message instead. I decided that there was no way that I’ll miss this appointment which I had been looking forward to for weeks so I got on the train spent just over 2 hours travelling to the hospital for her to call me back when I arrived in London and say that she has cancelled the appointment. I was heartbroken and thought how can she do this to me I hadn’t done anything to deserve this. I phoned the hospital to confirm that the appointment had been cancelled and they told me that it hadn’t so when she eventually arrived at the hospital she was shocked that I was there and at first she didn’t want me to come into the room with her. Eventually, I followed her in and got to find out the sex of our baby “ a boy “I was over the moon and couldn't stop smiling. Fast forward to now our son is 14 months old and we are all living together, however, the relationship is at a dead end. She is constantly angry and depressed but refuses to get help. She still calls me a piece of and that I’m the worse dad in the world saying that I don't care about her or our son and calls our son my son and sometimes tells me our son isn’t my son ( telling me also that I'm not he'd dad) and that I need to change his surname. He looks just like me when I was his age so I know she is just trying to mess with my head. When I tell her I’m going to get a DNA test she twists things and says that I don’t think he is my son and that she never said what she said. She has also told me to go and kill myself. On an odd day she is completely different and tells me how much she loves me and that I’m a great dad and then she is back to her normal self. I want out of this relationship but she is persisting that I need to change our son's surname for her to leave the relationship or for me to leave the relationship. I have nowhere to go and nor does she unless she moves back to live with her mum in Romania which would mean I’d never see my son again as she wouldn’t tell me her address. She has messed my head up so much its effecting everything I do now I can’t concentrate at work and can’t relax at home. I pay all the bills and can’t afford to move out and pay 2 lots of bills. What should I do??
  2. Hi, I have been in a relationship for the past 6 months me and my girlfriend were both getting on really well until the past 2 weeks where we have been arguing over silly things booking a holiday, future plans of having a baby etc. I am English and she is from Romania. We see each other Sunday afternoon until Monday evening ( she normally comes back to my place) we live about 2 hours from each other I normally drive down to the London area to pick her up while she gets the tube to the station where I pick her up from. She is currently working as an au pair and I'm working as an Engineer. Her hours are longer then mine she works 7am till 7pm Tuesday- Saturday and until 2pm on Sunday while I work Monday- Friday. Whilst I'm working all over the place she normally comes to work with me and has a look round town whilst I'm at the office for a few hours. I told her she could stay at mine whilst I work but she wants to come which I'm happy with. We both met on a dating site and the other day after our argument something was telling me something isn't right so I set up a random dating profile non subscribed one so I couldn't message anyone and found out that she had been active within the past week on a subscribed profile. When I questioned her and asked her if she has been on a dating site since we have been in a relationship she said no but her sister has been on her dating profile. She said her sister wanted to go on there to talk to guys and try and learn english. My girlfriend said she will delete the profile when she sees me on Sunday. Come the Sunday I asked her to get her phone out and sign into the dating site and pass the phone so I could check the messages sent. She was hesitant in handing the phone over and just said I'll delete my account. She couldn't for some reason so I gave her my laptop to login. She put the wrong email address in and said she forgot the email address but managed to sign in using her phone. I changed her email address on my laptop and asked her to try again this time it worked. Looking quickly at the emails I couldn't see any sent messages so all good however she couldn't deactivate her account for some reason so I told her to phone the dating company on the Monday. Come the Monday everything was all good between us. I asked her to phone the dating site and cancel her account she replied I'll do it when we get home. In the evening I took her back to London, came home and went on my laptop to find that she didn't sign out properly. I looked at the messages sent properly this time and found out there was 5 guys she was talking to over the past 3 months. I sent her a message saying that she lied and that we are finished. She replied and sent numerous messages saying its her sisters fault she done it and that she wanted to learn english by using my subscribed account by chatting to a few guys. Her sister phoned me and told me she is sorry what she had done but when questions where asked both stories didn't match up. There was one question a guy asked can you drive? The response was yes but I haven't passed my test yet! My girlfriend sister can drive so why would this be her saying this answer when my girlfriend is ready for her test? I questioned my girlfriend about this today and her response every time I ask her a question is that its her sister who done it not her. How can I trust her? She phoned me via video whatsapp saying she loves me and would do anything for me and wants to go and see a therapist she was constantly crying and saying she didn't do it and that the only person she wants to be with is me. I told her that all I want to know is the truth. I don't believe her. She says she doesn't want to lose me. I still have feelings for her, my head is all over the place. When we see each other we get on really well, show affection and we both loved each other however now this has happened I don't know what to do. She is always buying me gifts and saying how happy she is with me although sometimes picks at little things like the way I hold a folk and says I am annoying sometimes but in a joking way. I think she knows she has messed up and she thinks its too late to say the truth. What should I do?
  3. I know she is. Everything she is saying the story is changing she doesn't know what to say! She has now said that she'll delete the account in front of me on Sunday and blames me for now ruining her evening. My head is all over the place now. I wished she'd just tell the truth. Her ex just cut all contact from her apparently with no explanation to why he just blocked her I'm beginning to wonder if she lied to him aswell.
  4. I don't know what to think! Maybe I should do that when I see her in a couple of days time
  5. I asked her on the phone and her response was that she gave her sister her bank details so she could subscribe to her own dating profile because she didn't have funds in her bank account and then my gf account was also charged because she used the same bank details. She asked her sister to check to see if her ( my gf) account was active. So its her sisters fault according to her. She said she is now going to go on there and delete her profile.
  6. No its not going well. It was ok before all the arguments started. We see each other most weekends and get on ok when we do. But now we keep arguing on the phone its not good and now I know she has an active dating account. I don't know what to think do i ask her have you been on any dating sites lately and see if she is honest with me and if she says no I keep my mouth shut?
  7. I have been with my girlfriend for the past 5 months now. Recently we have been arguing she works as an au pair works long hours and gets stressed easily. When we speak on the phone we argue but when we see each other face to face we are ok. She has lied to me in the past about something silly which didn't need to be lied about. Because of the arguments something in my head was saying something isn't right. I stupidly set up a random profile non subscribed one on a dating site ( so I can't message anyone) that we met on and had a look at people in the area that she lives in and found her on there saying she had been active within the last week! With my mind working overtime after the arguments we had and now finding this out what should I do? Do I ask her if she has been on a dating site? How do I ask such a question?
  8. Hi Myself ( English) and my girlfriend ( Romanian) have been together for a while. Over the past few days we have been talking/arguing about having a baby. We would both like to have a baby in the near future however the biggest problem is where she wants to give birth. We are both living here in the UK and both work full time she wants to fly back to Romania and go private ( costs around £1000) to have the baby because she doesn't have confidence in the NHS plus she wants to have a cesarean because she is worried about the pressure on her eyes when giving birth naturally. The doctor in Romania a few years ago told her you could possible damage a vessel in your eye if you give birth naturally! On top of wanting to go and give birth in Romania she wants to stay there for around 2 months and says she can cope with everything on her own whilst I'm back in the UK working and once she is ok she will come back and stay with me. I have mentioned that there are good and bad hospitals in the UK and luckily enough to have some good rated hospitals nearby to where we live i.e. adenbrooks. I've also mentioned that if she goes to Romania to have the child and rent an apartment we need to be saving at least £5000 to cover bills for the UK and also for her to stay in Romania for 2 months. I've told her that I'd be upset if this was to happen and even more so if anything went wrong and I wasn't there to help her i'd be upset even more. I want to be there for bother of them. She has also said the likelihood of her mum and dad helping is quite slim. What should I do? I can only have 4 weeks off work during this time unless i was to take unpaid holiday which means saving more money. If she had the baby here in the UK then everything would be ok. I don't know what to think.
  9. I have been with my girlfriend for just over 4 months we both love each other however we are constantly arguing over silly things. When it comes to her wanting to do something with me and I tell her my opinion i.e. going on holiday to a country during the hurricane season isn't a good idea she sees that as i never want to do anything with her and my answer is NO to everything she wants to do with me which isn't true I am just telling her my opinion as say we will go there or do that another time or when we have money. She tries telling me what to do and tries to make me feel bad i.e. she can't swim and she said she wants to go swimming lessons and if i was with her whilst swimming then I'd let her drown or if someone become violent towards her i wouldn't protect her. She wants to do loads of things just now swimming lessons, karate lessons, study for a career change, move out from where she is living and pass her driving test all in a short space of time. I have already told her she needs to calm down and take one thing at a time otherwise her mind will explode but she isn't listening she wants everything yesterday. She currently works as a live in au pair and works long hours. She wants to get out of the job that she is in but she has no family here to move in with. I have said if everything goes well with myself and her then she can move in with me in a few months time maybe towards the end of the year. We both live 2 hours away from each other. I put the effort in to go and see her and she comes by train some of the way and then she comes back to my place in my car. We see each other for a day and half Sunday evening/ Monday. I work on Monday she comes to work with me and has a look round town whilst I'm working for a few hours. She could stay at my place but she wants to come with me which I'm happy with. She is always buying me stuff as well but I don't understand her attitude towards me when we don't see each other and why she has to put me down with negative comments like saying id let her drown even with her knowing that I am a strong swimmer. What should I do and what would you do in this situation?
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