andy2003bcp

Im not quite sure where to start off. So I guess Ill just get into it. Theres a girl who I went to highschool with, Ive known her for five years, and we recently went to different colleges. While we were in school together, I became really attached to her. We were amazingly close. Towards the end of summer she started seeing other guys, and things turned pretty ugly. It really hurt to feel that easy to replace after all I had invested in our relationship. Im not sure whether it was self-defense, but she opted for the friends deal. I opted to stop talking to her altogether. I was so angry and mad and jealous that I was at the point where I thought it would be better to have her out of my life. Well, we had our time off, and during school, I met a lot of new people, and really didn't think about her at all. We started talking again at the end of second semester. From the way it sounded, things were going to be amazing, and everyting was going to be the way it was. It started off very well, but it too turned sour. Ill spare the details, but it was the same dilemma as the previous summer. I dont understand why I feel this way about her. She uses me, I know it, and all my friends recognize it. I dont know why I still maintain these deep feelings. I cant seem to confront her about it. I know she knows theres a problem. Everytime I see her, I try to maintain a pure, minimum conversation, instead of our intimate talks. I would hate to make her feel bad, but at the same time, I feel terrible every time I see her. It a constant reminder of something I can never have. The bottomline is that I still deeply care for her, and I hate the things she does to me. You'd think Id learn shes not a good person, and get over it, but I cant let go of it. Is ignoring her, basically getting her out of my life the right thing to do? It seems logical, but at the same time, it hurts everytime i think about it. What if I cant ever let go of these attachments? If love is only intense attachment, then im done with love.

If you two are still dating right now, I dont think calling everyday is a really good idea. If you've called her, then the ball is in her court. If you keep on calling and IMing her, you could end up irritating her instead of talking with her. Personally, I would give it a few days, and casually call her back. There is always going to be next weekend.

Basically, ive met this girl that was really pretty and nice. This was three years ago. We became quick friends, but after a while I started realizing I was looking for more than friendship. It took everything I had, and I told her how I felt, and she said that I was perfect as a friend right now. She's had a history of dating her best friends, and then they eventually end up breaking up and hating each other, and she doesnt want the same thing to happen to us. I dont know if this is genuine or a cop-out, so Im giving her time to think or do whatever shes gonna do. Another thing is that when I see her flirt with other guys, it kills me on the inside, so I try and separate myself from her, kind of a defense mechanism I guess. Well these cycles happen frequently, and we get close and intimate, then I separate because I see her with others. It feels like im being led on, but I really wanna think she wouldnt do that. She said these cycles are another reason she wants to hold off on a relationship. I personally think that a relationship would fix all this, and Im willing to risk it if she is. The problem is that I honestly love this girl , and I dont want to be with anyone else. I mean little things are really worrying me. Like senior prom, granduation, college....Its all going so fast, and im so worried. I feel like I cant love anyone else t he way I love her, and Im worried that anyone else wont satisfy me the same way she will. She said to give her time, (this was 2 or 3 weeks ago), and I was alright with that, but I dont know how much to give. If she's not for our relationship, I really dont know what Im gonna do. I feel so co-dependant, and I dont like to think I am, but its such a fear for me. i realize I kinda sound pathetic, but I would really appreciate any advice you could give me.

I had a friend that went through the same problem that you have, except it had been a year and a half. For about the first month....maybe early second month things were in tension....although it may not feel like it..things will change. They have both gotton over each other, and are actually very good friends now. I guess what I am getting at is that in this case, communication is pretty important...tell him just how you feel...just like you told us...in the end..everything will be alright though

It seems to me that you have thought this through.....but perhaps you are thinking too much. Personally, I suggest you t ake a chance and go with it....ask her to do something......If she was genuinly busy, she wasnt blowing you off. Just ask ker...Think of the consequenses.....either she says yes and you are happy....or no and you move on....just dont delay...that doesnt get you anywhere...TRUST ME...I know

To answer your question, I actually prefer tall girls over shorter ones...and age never really matters as long as its not extreme....one or two years shouldnt matter at all...just go for it!

Thanks for all the advice you guys have given me.... I really appreciate it

There's this girl that I have been interested in for FOUR years...I started hinted, but she never got the idea that I was interested in her....so I took some guts and told her...she said that she had considered the idea, but she really didn't want to lose my friendship if the relationship didn't work out. She has dated a past good friend and now they hate each other, and basically she is afraid the same thing is going to happen between us. I personally would like to go for the risk, but I dont want to push her. I really do not know where to go from here.

So I took all of your advice....and it turns out that she does feel the same way about me....but she has dated her friends before...and bad things have happened (breakup, bad blood)....and she says its the only ting standing in her way....how should I approach this one?

I know what you are going through. However, all I can do is offer you sympathy. Its such a vicious cycle...Im going through the same situation now..Good luck

I need some serious advice here. Okay...let me start from the beginning..I've known this girl for 4 years (Highschool) and we have had some wonderful times together...but I don't think she's serious about anything. Latley it seems as though shes just using me, like im expendable or something. I'm seriously in love with her...and its killin me. I mean...when im around her...everything is good....I feel good....but when we fight (which is constantly) or when I see her with other guys.....It hurts like no other. The problem is that I can't just tell her how I feel. I don't know why...but I can't do it. Im really worried. I feel like I can't be happy when Im not around her. And now she wants to go to college together. I mean....I can deal with it here because of all my friends...but if I go to her college...then it will just be the same except no support from buds. If I stay away....she feels bad...and I feel bad for ignoring her....I cant just give her up cold turkey...but staying close hurts so much...Its no good...Any Advice? mr. torn