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p123

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  1. Hi Kris, Keep it up, I wouldn't make a blind rule but know what you're trying to get out of it. My ex and I sent a few messages about whether one of us would go to the same thing or not, and I sent her a link to an event she would be interested in, out of politeness really. If you don't contact them you will recover a bit of mental space and be able to separate them from association with activities etc. This will help you adjust to being on your own and looking after yourself. They won't forget about you, I think you did well to refrain from messaging - as you don't want to be needy. I remember some moments of feeling emotionally destitute, where only they could provide the answer, but I refrained - aware it was just an emotional state and that I would be harming myself to message. If it was really important I could still message a few days later, but normally it is just a matter of seeing through the wave when the dread comes.
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