lonelyOhio

I'm not sure where to post this one, for it's filled with a lot of stuff...so here we go. I've talked to the wife since my last post, and yet there seems to be little change. I've told her I'm tired of crying, and feeling down, and I'm just more pissed off about our problems than anything else. How can one go nearly 10 years with the same person (as far as sexually, living with, etc) and have it deteriorate (sp?) to just roomates? She says she still loves me, and I did buy her flowers as a surprise before Sweetest Day (on her day off the week of Sweetest Day) so I guess there is still hope...although there is no romance. A few problems outside of that: (*first some notes: I have come to the understanind that kissing...passionatley...with another female is considered cheating on the wife. So I admit. I have -kissed- a few women during the marriage. None have been as passionate as the one from the girl from a few years ago who is now married and we are friends.) I DJ at a club. Every night I spin someone shows up near last call. Her and I have had some nice and funny conversations and she understands my situation a bit. We've kissed a few times, and it's nice, but I can't take it farther with her. I've come accross this situation only a few years ago and didn't leave the wife because deep down...way down...it felt wrong. I've taken great pride in trying to keep a family together and not have my child (with the wife being the mother) become like my former classmates. In 9th grade it seemed that I was one of maybe 3 per class that still had his mother and father together. A single family. No "step-parents". So how do I: a: try to open up the romance (or just get a response) with the wife? b: break off the club girl without breaking her heart? This weekend my friend, who's now married, whom I had a relationship with a few years ago, is coming to visit. I'm looking forward to it for a few reasons. It's not that often we get to see each other (or she gets to see her friends period) face-to-face, and I have come to the understanding through various conversations with her that things going on in her life seem similar to mine...which is unfortunate. Anyway...thanks for all your help. At least I'm not depressed...and I've recomended this site to a co-worker who is having some...er...needing some questions answered. -S

I'm sitting here reading this and just nodding my head all throughout it. I married my wife 8 years ago, and we will be together 10 years in December and I feel the same way. I'm not sure what to say, except that from what I understand you don't have any children right? This makes everything easier for you. You should discuss things, openly, with him. What do you want to do with your life? Have you been striving for that goal, or has it been curbed since your marriage? Do you two do anything together? Do you work scedules allow time together? Deep down you probably still love him, but it's just not the same. I totally understand. I wish you luck in this, as I am still trying to find the answers to my questions myself. -S

Here's my story. I almost cheated on my wife. Well...I suppose it depends on your definition of "cheating". If "kissing" (ie out) a lot with the same person is "cheating" then I did...if not it's not...anyway. I almost left my wife for this person. Why? Our relationship...or lack there of...has gone south. It's almost as if I'm just living with her and we share the same space. I made a much more longer post about it (you can see it on Forum Index) for anyone to look at and give feedback on. Why didn't I cheat? I was, and still am, very good friends with the other female in question. I knew she went through something similar in her first marriage (she was single when I met her), and not only did I want to put my child through something like this,...but I didn't want to put her (the other woman) in a situation where she would feel uncomfortable/get massive ammounts of grief or hate from the wife/etc etc. Yeah I guess I cared too much. ...I somewhat regret it though...

Hi. Sounds like my situation with my wife, to be honest. I would seriously sit down and talk to him about it, without bringing up your ex (at least at first). If it leads to him be honest about it and let him know. If you are going to possibly marry this guy, but can't be honest and open about the bedroom issues you two have, then can you really honestly marry him? It could just be pre-marital jitters. That would be a good place to start. Perhaps he's overly worried about performance. I wish my wife would tell me what she thinks of our sex life...or lack there of. A little bit from my point of view: I've been married for 8 years, and I have a child with my wife (who will be 9 soon). We rarely have sex of any kind. Sometimes we go a full season without any. Don't be like us. imho it's horrible... Good luck on your talk. I hope this newbie here helped out a bit

Hi. I'm new here and...well...quite literally went to "google" and searched for "falling out of love" and wound up here rather quickly. I'm a 29 year old male, been married to a 31 year old woman for 8 years and have a daughter with this person who will be 9 in a few months. I'm not sure where to have posted this so here it is. For the last several years I have not felt "in love" with my wife. She has worked 2nd shift for the last 6 years and refuses to take days off well in advance to do anything with me...or us. Most of our conversations are arguing about something (usually money, or something equally negative...like my faults that she has a running list of), and they are usually really short because I see her maybe 12% out of the whole year. I actually sat down and figured it up one day, taking into account my day job, sleeping, and going back and forth to work. A few years ago I almost left her for someone I had met and made, what I felt, was a deep connection with. After nearly 9 months of this "near relationship" with this other woman I decided to let her go. I told myself: "I loved her too much to drag her through my potential splitting up with my wife" and let her go her own way. I regret that decision here 2 years later. What am I to do? I still have strong feelings for this other woman. We are really good friends and she even has a child near the same age as mine. She's supportive of what I do, and is always trying to push me to do "more" rather than "just enough". Where as the wife is always trying to critisize things too much. The other woman in question is currently married. I went to her wedding...which was somewhat sureal considering the circumstances. I thought I would come here and get some advice on what to do from a neutral group (people who I don't know personally). Did I let one get away? I've been pretty much unhappy with my marriage for 6 years...help...