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sensitivegirl0

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  1. sorry i missed the last text. HIM: thank you MY NAME, i will let you know.
  2. also, in january when he broke up with me. he told his mother about the argument and break up after we decided to continue, his mother called my mother saying "this time its all Sensitevegirl's fault" (my fault), but my son decided to give her a change". and my mother said i dont know what happened, my daugter didnt tell me anything but i believe in a relationship its always two people contributing toward a problem (something along those lines). snce than his mother was not the same towards me. and my parents and friends think his mother plays a big part in this break up. they think she put the idea of break up in his mind or efffected him.
  3. UPDATE: First of all thank you all for your precious suggestions, opinions and advices. We broke up last friday, he deleted me from his social media platforms and all hour pictures on monday. and tuesday he messaged me the following: — HIM: Hi, i am just giving you a head up, ill be moving out probably by the end of august to another house thats cheaper, so you can come collect your stuff before that or I can move your stuff to my new place and you can collect it whenever you come (but i know you don’t want that). + i will probably go back to london sometime in july, if you want anything for me to do just let me know. ME: ok, thank you for letting me know. HIM: No problem. the earliest i will move out is 22nd august. i will let you know when i leave for london then, i probably will need to get the keys for the house, did you ask about the ring ? i guess you can also give it back to me when you give me the keys. ME: ok, whatever you want, let me know when is good for you and we sort it out. —— in november 2019, i moved to his house (he was with his brother in the house and we were three of us then). in feb this year we all signed a new contract so that my name was in the contract. and i had the keys of the house here with me. also during the break up night on the phone, i mentioned the ring and not sure what happens when someone breaks engagement. he told me ask about it and we talk. — Today is the 6th day of break up and i have been missing him so much since the day 1 of the break up. And i reflected on the whole relationship, i already realised some of my faults, i have been impulsive in some instances, like last one. i am feeling guilty and i feel like it was my fault i lost him. on the other hand, at times, i also blame him for things that he did wrong and i feel like it was also him losing me. i know what was missing from his side also. it felt like he was looking for an escape since january. he did not care about this relationship since January when he first mentioned breaking up (and this was 6 days after hour engagement). after that within these six months up to our final fight on friday, he was not patient with me at all, every small misunderstanding become so big in his eyes ending up him saying he doesn't want it anymore, he is fed up, he doesn't want to continue like this. for him i was always overreacting and if we had a fight it was my fault and my unreasonable feelings. another reason why i felt like he was looking for an escape was, he let me down by promising to go to counselling to work on this relationship three months ago. but 2 weeks ago, he rejected this idea saying “if a relationship needs counselling it means it is over.” he didn’t say this before, even last year, we considered going to counselling, he booked it but because we felt like we are good for that moment, we didn’t go. On the other hand, although, within these six months, he looked like he was looking for an escape in every argument (3 times or so), other times, he seemed so happy all the time, talking about future, how much he loves everyday. in a way, he was lovebombing me, full of attention, messaging me often, calling me, coming to see me, doing everything like he was doing since day 1. I still want to work on this relationship. and i don’t want to give the ring back as it has so much meaning for me. i don’t want to look desperate also. i want to apologise for my mistakes, but i don’t know how or if i should at this stage. i don’t know if its too early to apologise. i also want him to realise his mistakes. i think thats only when we can re-unite. so when we meet up for the keys and the ring, what do you think i should tell him? should i give him the ring just like that? also my friend suggested i write him a letter, talking about how things made me feel in our relationship, and how it would not work this way. what do you think?
  4. It is not an arranged marriage. It was by chance that when we meet in teh UK with my fiance, we found out his stepfather is our family friend for more than 20 years. My father and his stepfather are really good friends and talk often, go to hunting etc. After months due to covid, we visited them on Thursday, they were inviting us for long time, but we waited for lockdown to be lifted and our eye infections to pass. Traditionally, families are important to us. But we always made sure asking each other if we want to meet up in our houses, in case one or the other doesnt feel comfortable. For instance, on Thursday night i asked my fiance if he is ok with coming to my house on Friday if not we could do something else. but he said ofcourse he wanted to come as he wanted see me and it was my mothers bday.
  5. Just to add a few points, on Thursday night we visited my fiances mother and step father with my parents, he was so happy, he told me im his future wife and he cant wait to have kids and be a big family. and just 5 days before during the weekend, he told me he had one of the best weekends with me and he is so happy to have me in his life. if this is the case, then how come you behave like this? i feel played a little bit. we broke up on friday. today i wake up to see he removed me from all his social media platforms, deleted our pictures also deleted my mother. his mother also deleted our engagment picture.
  6. Hello, Three days ago on Friday I (30 F) broke up with my fiance (29M) and I want to get some oppinions on if it was the right decison or get second opinion about if I was wrong to do it. It was my mother's birthday on Friday and he came to visit in the afternoon. My mother and father had a plan to go to a trip on Saturday to a two hour city to a monastry because me and my father had a very bad eye infection and my mother made a vow (its a cultural thing) "when my husbands and daughters eyes recover i will visit the monastry". anyways. they said to me tell your fiance and lets go all together. although the main aim of this trip seems like going to the monastry, this would be a road trip as we would travel by the seaside, sit somewhere near the beach eat lunch, feed the donkeys on the road, take pictures near the beach etc, visit the monastry and come back. Knowing my fiance always wanted to do to this trip, in fact, he suggested going there for saturday on thursday night (literaly one night ago), I though t he would be happy to join. when I told him about the trip, he said its a last minute plan, he is tired, he doesnt wanna go, it is too early for him. (we would leave at 9am). then my mother said we can leave later on around 10 am or later. he still said no, I am tired. My mum left right after. he told me he needed a bit more notice so that he could prepare himself psychologically. I got upset because he mentioned going there with me on saturday, but when my mum asked to go together he said no, saying he is tired. He asked me if i am bothered if he doesnt go, i said it is ok if he doesnt come, i cannot force him but i am dissapointed a little bit because this would be the first time we would go somewhere all together with my parents, and it is important for me that he partcipate in family activities like this. I always go to his family events. he said i am sorry i disappointed you but im not coming (in a very sarcastic and mean way). i got realy upset as to me it sounded like he didnt care it is important that he comes. also he didnt have a valid reason apart from saying he is tired. (he is always up for plans with me no matter how early it is). when i said if the problem is my parents because he was willing to go there with me, he said its not like that, he is ok with my parents, but he also said he prefers going with me only. i got more annoyed. i told him i dont know how this relationship would work long term because these kinds of things are important for me, if he had a valid reason or another plan i would understand. on top of everything, im telling him i am dissapointed and upset but he doesnt even care. he suggested he comes to see me after we come back from trip. but since we would come back late around 6pm i said i would be tired and we could meet on sunday instead. and the whole point was i wanted to something different as a family. he said it doesnt matter if i am tired or not. he would come. i said it matters if i am tired, he doesnt wanna come because he is tired it is ok, but when i am tired he still wants to meet me? anyways i didnt want to speak more to him i was so annoyed, i told him i dont wanna speak more and he can leave if he wants. he is like you are firing me out of your house, i said no, i just dont wanna speak because im done you always care about yourself and i just dont know if i want to continue this relationship. he just said ok and agreed. my mother comes in, i asked him if he wants to tell my parents about it, he said yes lets tell them we arenot getting along. we told my parents. they said they doent want to be involved, we should speak when we are calm. he left. when he went home he called me saying he did not do anything wrong and he is still not coming, and after all the things i did, and embrassing him in front of my parents, he doesnt want this relationship. he said i even fired him out of my house, which was not the case. i just said he can leave if he wants because im done talking with him. he also said he has been keeping in so many things just so this relationship woyuld work. When i asked him what those things are, he gave me an example of our engagement night in my house when i didnt go to a meal with him because i was upset due to my rabbits death. he made it sound like it was stupid of me just because my rabbit died. In reality, what happened was I killed my rabbit by stepping on it in a very traumatic way, we rescued the baby rabbit from a dog and i was looking after her, she was sleeping in my bed with me, i had a connection with the rabbit and teh way i killed her one day before our engagment killed me :( i cried for 3-4 days, and i was numb on our engagment night. i could feel my feet steppping on it for around three days. I though he understood me. on our engagement night after it ended we were suppoed to go dinner both of us but i coudnt pretend to be ok and i just went to my bed. he said he is tehre for me and we agreed to go when i feel better. this was 6 months ago. the way he brought it up in a very cruel way when we were breaking up left me speechless. we broke up on my mothers birthday. sorry for my bad english and if i didnt explain this very well. but i wanna know if AITA here. PS: he has been trying to break up with me in every instance in every small thing since january, since 6 days after our engagment. for him everything i do was wrong. for instance two weeks before this, i got upset because i thought he called me a friend ina game to other people. he said i behave so absurtly, its funny how i get upset over a game, i shoould not get upset on nonsense things like this if i wnat this relationship to work. i tried to explain him, i misunderstood and i am sorry but he seemed not to care, he kept insisting i was wrong for misunderstanding and giving him attitude bla bla. he was like before giving me attitude and getting upset, try and ask me....same day i suggested we go to couple counceling (this was somethig he promised to do 3 months ago) but he said he is not going. if someone needs to go to counceling it is me. because the problem is me. I should go and learn how to behave he said. PS: he is a mothers boy. his father left them when he was 7, they dont know where he is. he is under his mothers control. early on in our relationship he promised me to move back to our home country when i find a job there but because his mother wants us to stay in europe, after a few months he said he doesnt know what he will tell his mother if we move back and he said he is not moving back for at least 4 more years etc etc. when i told him we should break up because our long term plans are not aliged he said again we can move back when we are both ready. his mother calls him everyday, messages him throughout the day, asks hm about everything, he tells her everything etc.
  7. Thank you Rose. I never shamed him regarding his previous sexual/romantic relationships. Whenever we spoke about these things, I just listened. And the reason why I wanted to know about his sexual or romantic interactions with Hannah is because he was clearly withholding information and lying which made feel insecure. "Why is he doing that?" I asked myself. I even thought he still has feelings for her? Why? because he was being shady about his past. If she was in the past why cant he tell me the truth I said. Since they have been having sex for a long time sex must be so good, what if he wants to have sex with her again I said to myself. I asked him twice, and both times he lied until last week I confronted him and demanded the truth. So the reason why I did that is because he wasnt open with me from the beginning. I think to build a future with someone, you need to know about their past as well. A lot of you are saying I am not entitled to such information. But how can you build a relationship/future/marriage with someone when a big part of them (their past) which makes them who they are is missing and you dont know anything about it? And just so you know, even after he told me evrytihing, I didn't judge him. I even thanked him for telling me. And I also told him he shouldnt be ashamed of anything and I said that he should be able to share with me anything and anytime. I said to him I will be by his side as long as he is honest with me. But I cant stop thinking about this whole thing. He is sensitve and I dont want to break his heart by saying harsh words regarding what happened. What I shared in the post here is my thoughts that goes in my head. And I cant share it with anyone and I will only talk to him about this again, when I am ready, and when I am not under the influence of a lot of emotions and feeling distrustful (which I am right now as Rose said). This is the reason why I posted here. But as I see most of you are just one-sided.
  8. She had sex with my bf OR my bf had sex with her when she had a boyfriend.
  9. He told me he had sex with her last year and in 2017. That was the lie I am talking about. He had sex with her since 2014. And that's why all the history and dates came up, I asked him to be honest with me. I wanted to understand why he lied to me. I didnt give him any reasion to lie. Never judged or criticised him before.
  10. I am not changing history. its just that with him I speak in Greek and when you translate it might be not what I told him in Greek. I told him to tell me the truth about her instead of telling the half truth. Thats what I meant by "I said to him to tell me everyting". I can always handle thr truth after processing it and thats the reason I post here. I am reading and processing what everyone is saying.
  11. @ Billie28 If he thinks I am judgemental, then why didnt he dumb me and instead hided information from me just so I can continue being with him then? Is it to much to ask transparency in a relationship? I dont understand.
  12. I didnt ask for a narrative of his dating life or all details of his encounters with that girl. I didn't require details, he maybe overshared. I didnt need the details about her having sex with all his friends. all I wanted was him saying they were seeing each other on and off for couple of years as it can be clearly seen from his social media account - instead of him lying to me. I just wanted to know the basics, and that he trusts me with his past. I also wanted to know that he can talk about anything without it getting weird. If we cant openly talk about anything then whats the point? Also, looking at your bf's social media account or someone you start to date is completely normal in my opinion. You try to get to know them and social media gives you ideas about what they have been up to (to some extent).
  13. because he seemed to be lying and I wanted to know why.
  14. Me (28) and my boyfriend (27) have been in a relationship for 7 months. We both live in London and we are from Greece. He told me he was single for 8 years before me, meaning there were girls he was seeing during this time but he never asked any girl to be his gf. And one day he also told me that last time he had sex was May 2018 and it was with a girl called Hannah who he was previously seeing. He said it happened when he visited Greece for a week, Hannah messaged him, they met up, both got drunk and had sex. A week later when he got back to London, he found out that Hannah had sex with his friend (Sean) a year before and thats when he deleted her from all her social media accouts. He told me that he learned it from Sean and he felt disgusted to do things with a girl like that. Two weeks ago, I realised that he had lots of pictures with girls (specially with Hannah) from 2014 to 2016. I decided to ask him about this girl how long they have been together etc, because I always felt that he witheld information regarding his past. He told me he knew her since 2013 but they only had sex in 2017 and 2018, it was just sex, she was noone important etc. It didnt make sense to me because they had so many pictures starting from 2014 to 2016. I told him right away that something doesnt feel right, I confronted him about the pics and asked him to tell me everything. He agreed to tell me everything, we met up - He told me that he had sex with her in summer 2014, summer 2015 and summer 2016 (although she had a boyfriend that time), he met her in 2017 but they didnt have sex, and they had sex once in May 2018 - It was always when both of them were in Greece for summers. they were going clubing with same group of friends and having sex sometimes. (Hannah lives in north UK). Also, he said that Hannah messaged him on messenger in February asking him why he deleted her etc but he deleted the conversation because he was afraid that i will see it. He said that Hannah had sex with two of his best friends before him (in 2012 and 2013), she was a slag, she was just sex to him etc. and he didnt want to tell me because everything was going perfect between us and he was afraid of how I will perceive him (he said you are not a girl like that), and afraid of losing me. I wanted time to think about all this, I couldnt even talk I was so dissapointed. He was extremely upset and he had tears in his eyes. When we spoke 3 days later about this again, he said he had feelings for her but sexual, they enjoyed each others company and had attraction but she was only sex and noone to him. he said she was just easy sex. He said she is oppoite of what he always wanted (me) and he doesnt want to lose me because of this. He told me he will do anything to earn my trust again, he gave me his phones password, he even messaged Hannah to send him the screenshot of the last converstion they had on messenger (her asking him why he deleted her, and her answer was "its ridiculous that you are having to do this, tell your girlfriend there is nothing to be paranoid, I can talk to her and tell her if you want, I dont have my phone with me right now, etc etc" and she didnt send it) just so he can prove me there is nothing I should worry about. He said we can even start from zero, getting to know each other etc. He apologised, said he will never lie to me again and I can ask him anything anytime and he will answer. I cant stop thinking about it since last week: 1) He lied to me, we always said we will be honest with each other and honesty is the most important thing to me in life. Now I am thinking if he cant be his true self with me then are we really for each other? How can I know he will not lie again? 2) I am disgusted about the fact that he had sex with a girl like that. Previously he said that for the last two years he had so many chances to have sex with girls but he didnt because he wanted a girlfriend but on the other hand he kept having sex with a girl who had sex with everyone in his friend group (all his close friends). To me this is wrong on so many levels. If he can have sex with a girl like that then he can have sex with anyone. Plus in 2016 he had sex with her knowing that she has a bf. there are so many things that I find disgusting. How can I know that he will not do it again? How can I know that when he they are both in Greece again, she want seduce him? Clearly he felt extremetly allured to her. I admit I have trust issues - I genuinely started to trust him before this but right now I am having mixed emotions. I know that after we started dating he didnt do anything wrong cheat or anything. I know he values me a lot. But on the other hand I feel that he decieved me. Perhaps if i knew about this girl from the beginning I would develop feelings accordingly or perhaps I would not continue dating him. But right now, after 7 months, I am forced to make a decision, and it's so difficult. Any opinions and advice would be appreciated. Thanks.
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