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jrw

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  1. Okay, I understand. Thank you for the support!
  2. I said to ask that as in like ask as a simple question. If you read a few sentences later, I wrote that she might consider exploring this with a therapist
  3. To be honest maybe figure out why she feels the need to drink so much, and use marijuana. Speaking from experience usually people who use these substances have underlying mental health issues, which they use as coping strategies. Maybe encourage her to get into therapy, to explore this? I had an alcoholic girlfriend in the past, who would always be drunk, I fell into the trap of always going out and doing that with her too. It wasn't a very fun relationship, I received emotional abuse as well. She was incredibly jealous (insecure). I say figure out if the THC is a dealbreaker, for me personally, it would be, but you and only you can decide that.
  4. Yeah okay. Some of you guys are taking this too far. She clicks better with guy friends, she’s had more guy friends than female friends. It’s literally platonic. She used to go over to his place all the time. I love responses like this because I get to sit here and challenge my thoughts through arguing a point, and in the process have helped myself feel 100% better about this. Half my friends are female and I’ve gone out with them. I’m almost a carbon copy of her when it comes to friendships and friendship activities, I just don’t go out with them as much as I used to clubbing and stuff, but given the opportunity I would. I’d invite my girlfriend with me, to go clubbing with my female friends. At the end of the day it’s up to me what I do, I’m choosing to stick with her and let her do her. If something happens something happens but I know she’s trust worthy and at the end of the day I have to hear her out for what she is specifically saying. Given some of my replies on here I’m surprised some of you even see this situation as a threat, to be honest, but some of you have been negative on every response, so I’m not surprised. Case closed.
  5. Another thing too is my girlfriends guy friend had flaked on her multiple times, like cancelling plans with her last minute and I’ve challenged her is he really that good of a friend if he does that. If he really wants poon tang I highly doubt he’d flake on her
  6. Thank you. And like I said when she was dating again for a few months before I met her, if they would’ve gotten together it would have happened, she chose to date other men, and then date me.
  7. Here’s some perspective too: I have a female friend, who would go out a lot with me and my guy friend a lot a few years ago: Even coming over to my house alone to pregame before we went out. She liked dancing, so that’s why she went out with me dancing, her boyfriend didn’t like it so he never went. Nothing ever happened, absolutely nothing. I viewed her as strictly platonic, I had a relationship at that time too. Her boyfriend didn’t like that at all That she’d go out with me(she’s still with him now), we started seeing less and less of her cause of him, and I didn’t like her boyfriend cause of this. This same female friend I went out with her dancing one on one a few times when I was with a girlfriend in a relationship at the time, and the girlfriend didn’t trust me and told me to cut her off. I felt so bad, like she was making me choose between her and my good friend. All I wanted at that time in that relationship was for my girlfriend, to get to know my female friends or even go out with us to see that it’s harmless, and just listen to me, but that’s one of the reasons we split up later on. I don’t want to put my girlfriend in that situation where she feels I’m making her choose. And if I’ve seen firsthand with my female friends that nothing happens in these scenarios, than that should add to my confidence that it’s harmless.
  8. Despite the weird stuff I think at the end of the day he means no harm. He is dating women and apparently complains that they are gold diggers, he is her friend so she wants me to see he’s harmless. He’s invited me and her out with him before (I declined). At one point she said yeah you could go out drinking with him Jordan and maybe be his wingman for finding someone, I told her no that I’m not gonna be a wingman for a 41 year old man lol. and like I said even if he is intending something, I trust her enough not to cheat and to shut it down. Just trying to stay positive at this point
  9. She had a therapist convince her to divorce her husband initially, this guy friend just offered her support months down the road, because he had been in her shoes before. He didn’t make her do the whole thing, at the end of the day she chose to do it, she initiated it in the first place. She said before she felt like she was making me choose between me and him, when I told her I’m not comfortable with her going out with him. She can go out with him if she wants, that’s what I told her ultimately. I’ll continue to have her hangout with my friends too, and she’s actively trying to meet new people besides him. But yes I agree of course it would be better if she came up with the solutions on her own. At the end of the day I know what he’s doing is off but I’d still need concrete evidence that he’s trying something, maybe I’ll see it if I actually go out with both of them.
  10. And that’s why before I set the boundary with her that she’s never to go over to his house alone cause that’s whack. She did it this time but to sober up so I let it go, trust me I brought this up to her how I mentioned it before, and it wasn’t cool. She even said that she mentioned to him, that I wasn’t fine with it since I don’t know him well, and he said okay or something and then she did it anyways. I have a plan in place to ensure it doesn’t happen again either she Uber’s home or I stay sober enough to pick her up if she goes out. This is strictly the reason I don’t like him: he tried to get her to over drink one time (she said he does that with everyone), and because she went over to his house one on one a lot in the past. How the house conversation started is a month or two ago he told her “hey I have a handle of vodka if you finish it with me”, and I immediately told her no, that’s how she brought up that she used to go over to his house before me and he helped her reach a decision on the divorce Another thing too, is my girlfriend had a guy friend who when she was married tried to put the moves on her, and when she was single kept flirting with her, and he asked her back in February if she had an onlyfans account. She was so embarrassed cause she kept turning him down, needless to say she doesn’t talk to this friend anymore. With that I can be confident that if the 41 year old pulls any she would shut it down
  11. She used to go to his house a lot one on one when before starting the divorce with her husband and drink with him and talk about things. I could try to be friendly with him yes. I trust her enough to not let anything happen, no matter what his intentions are. It’s up to her what happens at the end of the day. I met her on a dating site Hinge, last August
  12. I know he offers her deep conversation sometimes, but me and her have that too. Mainly at this point it sounds like he offers her dancing hence thatÂ’s what they always do when they go out.
  13. They met because he’s her brothers wife’s brother in law. They met through family a few years ago when she moved back down here. And yeah could be emotional attachment because he Helped her reach her divorce decision fully. She said he’s the one that got her more into dancing in the first place. And yes I’ve taken her out with my friend group a few times and they’ve meshed well so far, as for him he wants to hangout with her more again so she’s suggesting he go kayaking with us some weekends like I do with my friends (probably with my friends there too)
  14. Yeah unfortunately some men are disrespectful and don’t get the memo. I know when I was single if a woman had a ring or said they had a relationship or anything, I just walked away lol. Some men are too pushy
  15. I agree, I’m just gonna let it go at this point. Still take her out dancing when she wants to, and work on my craft with that. She has asked me to a few times in the past. She’s enjoying my hobbies with me like kayaking, video games, hiking and some of these are mutual hobbies too, why can’t I enjoy hers with her.
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