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  1. Indeed, the fear of losing her will be nothing if this goes south further down the line. I don’t think there is another man; she would just go back. Her own plans are to go back (according to her). I dont see how she can continue here on a tourism visa
  2. Indeed, and your advice is very much appreciated.
  3. Hi LotusBlack, Thanks for sharing that story and it definitely made me think hard. I’m very sorry to hear that and the retrospective red flags is definitely something to transfer knowledge on...
  4. Thanks Billie, and I appreciate the benefit of doubt at start. Problem is she is arguing that her time used here is the greatest sacrifice and hence anything I do is warranted. Hard to argue this point....
  5. She cries every time we argue (which is about once every two weeks over very small things), does that count for anything in her defence?
  6. Indeed, the worst possibility is that the acting has reached its limit and she is now showing her true self. Bored with the imperfect me... Shall I secretly pause the application (I am pretty sure I can do that without her knowing), because it takes a 1-2 months, and see how she behaves?
  7. It is difficult to describe succinctly the "problem" (hopefully there isn't one), but here goes: 1. I met her through mutual friends and she came recommended - 5 months ago 2. We started dating a month later, but she needs a visa to stay in the country 3. So even after 3-4 months of dating, I agreed to get her an engagement (pathway to marriage) visa, not cheap! -- currently going through application with a lawyer 4. I shower her with holidays and expensive luxury gifts. I pay for most of our living costs, as she has no job here (due to tourism visa). 5. I am off to see her parents, and she has already met mine. 6. We have regular sex (started with once a day, now once/twice a week) 7. I work out 3-4 times a week, keep fit, have a very good job. Never speak to other girls, keep my life simple: job - relationship 8. She has moved in with me. She cooks now and again, does a lot of cleaning. So she does contribute that way 9. She buys me presents and her family is rich, but I always pay for things. Normally, each day is good. I would prefer more talk time, but she has her own world and I have mine. However, in the past week she has grown distant and critical of me. Yesterday (Saturday), I got up early to go into work and print out her visa application support documents. When I got home, she was very cold. During and after dinner she was critical of me from everything to chewing noise to my pay cheque and where I work (which are pretty good!) It just doesn't feel right. Whilst this has only been less than a week, but you know something is wrong... Of course I am trying my best and giving this time, but I really want people's feedback here. I am freaking out. At 36, I am a total failure in relationships. I always give it 100%, but it seems the female side always looses interest after several months.... Maybe I am too boring (see 7), meh.
  8. Self blame and no closure is haunting me. Not an exaggeration when I say daily. On a good day, I might think about her briefly a few times... because work is busy and there are some cheerful things. On a bad day, it will paralyse me, especially either side of sleep. I decided to write this after kneeling in the shower and crying. Over the 4+ years since break up, I have dated numerous girls (2 for 1+ years) and I have given everything to those relationships, but nothing is right. Some facts: - we dated from 2011 to 2014 (3 years) and we were engaged for half that - the passion and love was insane - she did so much for me, and i was unappreciative and did little in return - but i always 100% loved her in my own way - we bought each other many gifts, and I treated her to frequent vacations - when she got her first job after uni, she immediately changed her attitude and things fell apart quickly - in retrospect, i was just a big baby and she moved on. - but when she moved on, she cut all lines of communication and never said good bye. - i haven't been able to recover from that... Some reflections: - i wish i can travel back in time and punch myself in the face - i have tried to contact her in different ways but to no avail - she has been with some random dude since then and they have a house, but not married. - i have really tried to move on. I am not young any more and I need to settle down. But no one comes remotely close to the way she loved me and I loved her. - love is not a comparison, but once you have been loved like that; you can't go down... Any advice would be appreciated.
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