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About Elliejayde

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  1. That's a really nice thought, although I'm really not thinking about getting into another relationship ever again!! I was married from 19-24, then single for 2 years until my ex convinced me to give it a go with him when I was 26, I'm now 34.
  2. Thank you Shiner501! I've not been looking at old photos etc, I promise! I tagged a friend in a picture from my night out last night and one of her friends liked it who had the same name as my ex. Just annoyed that this random man who I've never heard of liked the picture! I'm actually not doing too badly, to say it was almost an 8 year relationship. I'll feel happier once I move out of our apartment and there's no constant reminders!
  3. Thank you all so much. I'm really glad I found this forum, it's really helped to get it off my chest. I did go out to a party last night/tonight, and yes, it was ok. Not great, a lot of people were asking where he was, and I did feel a spare part a lot of the time. Yes, I did check my phone every time I went to use the restroom, which is when I would usually get a cute message from him. Obviously, nothing. I got back to my apartment, and decided to put a few pics I took on Facebook. He's blocked anyway, so no need to worry about him seeing them. Put them on, went to get a drink and came back
  4. Oh my goodness, today hurts. I woke up feeling like day 1 again. My whole body feels broken again, the urge to sob is completely overwhelming. The hole in me is so huge again. I miss him more than ever, the only thing stopping me texting him is knowing how little he thinks of me to not even bothered to get in touch. Not even a breadcrumb. Today I can only think of the good things, today not even the negative things are making me feel better. Not even knowing the man he's turned into has put me off. Today I'm so desperate just to have his name pop up on my phone. One month ago, even tho
  5. He'd asked me to marry him numerous times over the years. I got married at 20, only lasted 3 years, swore after that experience I wouldn't do it again. The last time was 4 months ago, I turned him down again, so he started chatting to other women!
  6. Emotionally with numerous women. Never physically.
  7. We were together almost 8 years. He changed dramatically in the last 4 months, the 'real' him I don't know anymore.
  8. Yesterday was weird. The universe decided to remind me of him in every possible way! We had nicknames, like most couples. He was a certain marvel character and I was a Disney character. when cleaning out 'our' apartment (the lease is out next month, moving nearer my job.) I opened a drawer - that I use frequently, and in the bottom was a figure of this marvel character. Ok, never seen that before. Put it to one side and carry on cleaning. About an hour later, I ran down to Starbucks, (the only thing I can stomach at the moment!) and a little girl was wearing the dress of the Disney character.
  9. I'm day 8 of NC, and you know what I've had a good day!! Yes, he's still 98% of my thoughts, but today I've felt good. I took myself out for coffee this morning, spoke to an older lady about a book she was reading, bought my niece some Birthday presents, went for a walk, tidied my apartment, and had a complete overhaul of my wardrobe. Booked my nails in for a mani, made a hair appointment, and had a complete overhaul of my Facebook page. Deleted 364 people, now I'm down to 186 people who I'd like to hear about. Deleted my Twitter completely! Tomorrow I'm aiming for another 12k steps on
  10. No, I know that. I was married before I met this guy, hence my refusal to go through it all again. We were compatible in every way me & my ex husband weren't. I've honestly never felt heartbreak like this, and you're right, we aren't meant to be together. Despite fate throwing him at me time after time! No, I can honestly say, I don't think I do have friends. I've reached out to numerous people over the last week and had no response. But you know what, that's ok. I'm the person that has to pick myself up at 4am, and I'm the only person I need at this time.
  11. Thank you No1. The sun will come and and go down, and I'm still here. Today I realised that there is always a reason that I could contact him. After 7 years of a relationship and 8 years in each other's lives, there's always a reason. I also know if I text him, he'd reply. I know that with every piece of me, and that's reassuring. But I need to change that habit, everything good, bad, funny, sad, I'd of text him, rang him to tell him. There's been several times this week when I could of reached out, but I know I need to focus on me now. It's hard, and I miss him desperately, but I need too.
  12. I've made it to a week. I'm very proud of myself for not caving. I've deactivated Facebook and removed him off Twitter. I'm sad he's not bothered to contact me, but I guess it shows he didn't actually care as much as i thought he did. But here's to day 8 tomorrow!
  13. Zaphod, you've given me my first proper belly laugh in almost a week. I needed it. Thank you!
  14. Sounds pretty similar to a situation I've been in. Your best bet is just to focus on you, and be happy. If he comes back he does, but if you're happy then you won't want that back!
  15. Today is hard. This time last week we were together, I knew that I would feel awful today, but this takes the cookie. I've decided I've got to go out rather than sitting in my apartment all day sobbing (which was all of last week!) This is the longest we've ever not spoken for - in 8 years. It's now been 6 days, I've almost caved so many times. Last night I sat and looked at his (blocked) number on my phone, no intention of ringing him, just looked at his name and number. (I've deleted the pic of the 2 of us from my phone and changed his name from the nickname to his actual name. He's stil
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