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Everything posted by HadaraNight

  1. @reinventmyself: Thanks; I know I have to follow my own path. I wish I knew a way to leave this country ASAP. If only I could get a job overseas or a scholarship...
  2. Hahaha! No worries! Actually this post really made my day!! Thanks!
  3. @DanZee: thank you. You are right but yeah, I don't know how I let these things get to my head. I'll move out, I'll do whatever it takes to move out.
  4. @tattoobunnie: I know, I know I have to do it. I just don't want him to commit suicide or I won't be able to take all the blame... I don't want to be 40 living with him... I don't... @reinventmyself: You are right. I am trying to come up with a good excuse to leave home; I'm also looking for options outside of my city. Something like... "I have a job at the capital so I need to move" or "I just found a job/study to undergo at a foreign country so I am leaving for a while (and I stay for longer)". @Wiseman2: In my culture there is a conception parents have: they raise children so that
  5. So to be honest, I'm tired, I'm tired of being the one to blame all the time. I'm sick of this stupid family and their stupid expectations! All they want is someone to blame their s*** on! And they chose me! Now my aunt blames me; my sister blames me; my brother blames me; my father blames me because I am not too good of a daughter. Why? Because he says I don't love him enough! Just what the h*** does he want?! I've been serving him since my mother died! I've listened to him whenever he has wanted to! I have stood his stupid family members even when I detested them!! I've taken care of my youn
  6. I understand you well; my father is sexist as well. However, there is no way to make them change the way they think so what the others have said is true, you should just let him say whatever he wants, trust me, I've been doing it with my dad for my entire life. Don't let it get to your head, I know it's hard to ignore because is your dad, but you know? It doesn't matter. You don't need his recognition. Just keep with your life and when you are able to leave home, do, and find a better place to be at. Let me tell you one thing. There is something very funny about these sexist men. They say
  7. First, thank you, everyone, for your answers. To answer some questions, my father is in his 60's and yes, I do serve him. It is not like I can enjoy a meal with him. We never talk at dinner. He sits in front of the TV and waits for me to give him food. He is "machista". He only wants a woman to serve him and listen to him whenever he wants. He orders me around and refuses to let me say anything about the "rules" at his house. He still has a job, a very tough job he has refused to quit because he says he has to make money for me and my siblings even when I have told him I already make money
  8. Hi, everyone, how have you been? Well, I am sorry if I keep bothering you with my many questions, but I truly need some help with this one. So, after many people had already suggested me (online and RL), I decided to finally make the step and rent a house to go living by my own. I've saved some money just in case and I have looked for the cheapest and yet best place I could find to finally do it. I am all ready to finally go living by my own even if it is at the same city (because I can't afford to go anywhere else). I have a stable job at the University, it gives me enough money to hang a
  9. Hi! @LHGirl Thank you so much for your advice! :) I am currently searching for a new job and new study opportunities away from home. You are right about it, I need to get out of this environment... I will do my best to find a new job/study and go away from home. Again, thank you for everything.
  10. I understand. Actually, I should be the one to apologize for being so rude. I am sorry. I'm 26.
  11. Um...why? Is my age important for this? I know that at my age, I should already be living by my own, but again, can't find a decent job to do so...
  12. Yeah, already did it on Facebook... I keep trying to get a better job... I have applied so many times and yet nothing. As soon as I get a better job, I am moving out of my dad's house.
  13. Well, it is because I don't want problems with her. She's daddy's favorite and will also turn my brother against me if she feels offended by anything I say or do. She always tricks my dad and brother to do everything she wants; I usually don't agree with her, that's when the problems arise. I have to be careful with saying too many things in front of her or she may use my own words or likes against me whenever we are with other people or family. I know about Facebook, don't think you can do that on Instagram...
  14. I always had my suspicions about it, but now I can say it is real. The fact is that I can't understand why my sister hates everything I love or like. For example, let's say, I like a TV show, she will say she dislikes it, no matter if we both started liking it on the first place. The trigger is when I say (or show) I truly like something. She doesn't let me talk about it, she says she dislikes it (even though she used to love it) and will only talk about it when she wants to convince me into doing something for her or when she wants to prove me wrong. What I've been doing so far is not talk
  15. I'm so sorry I didn't see this message earlier, but thank you so much for your kind words. Thanks for the advice as well, it will truly help me a lot! Thank you so much!
  16. Thank you for your answer. You may be right, maybe I'm too desperate, guess I shouldn't think about it that much. I have to admit Im cold, I hardly ever express any feelings whatsoever. People say I am physically attractive, but with my "baby face" , only kids and teens are interested. Adults are too afraid to get close to me, they say it is because I'm too serious, cool and collected. That's true, everyone has their issues, maybe I really should stop bothering them with mine as well.
  17. I understand... I am just a little insecure, I guess... I have such bad luck in any kind of relationships... What if it never happens? What if I never find someone? Am I really just too complicated?? Or guess I am just a pessimist...
  18. Yes, thank you, they do. I sometimes feel like there's nobody for me out there...because no matter where I search, I always end up finding the same problem: when things get too difficult, everyone leaves me alone. It's been like that since I was a kid. I can say I am tired of even trying to befriend anyone, it will always be the same, I'll be alone... Guess Id rather learn to be like this forever... I've been the observer for a while too, suddenly I felt like I needed somebody to talk to, maybe because recently there has been many deaths in my family... But now I can see clearly I was just l
  19. Really? I didn't know about that... Never thought it would happen... I don't know if I want friends anymore... It's too complicated...
  20. I've been distancing myself from her, I haven't seen her in months, but my other friends (her friends as well) look for ways to make us two find each other. They invite both of us to the same events, activities, etc. I always refuse to go so everybody is concerned something must have happened between the two. They already suspect and keep trying even more... I hate this... You are right at that. It was a bad idea to look for friends in the art community... I should have listened when others warned me about it.
  21. The reason why I want to keep her friendship is because she's someone my other friends like a lot... I was afraid if I made her sad or angry, my other friends would eventually hate me as well... I am an artist and she is as well, and she goes to all of the artistic events here in my city so, every time I go to one, I end up seeing her. Guess I'll have to quit those activities for while as well... I understand, thank you very much.
  22. I haven't thought about it that way. You may be right... Yeah, she's very demanding... she starts blaming herself when I don't answer her in time; she says she may be too annoying for me to handle which of course makes me feel guilty... I don't want to offend her, but, sometimes, she just gets on my nerves... I already told her I don't want to date her, but she keeps insisting to no end... I understand... I truly have to be more selective. Thank you so much for your answer.
  23. First, everyone, thank you for being so kind with me here in the forums. I really appreciate everything you've told me so far. Your suggestions and advice have helped me a lot. Some months ago I was very insecure about what to do with myself... I was hiding my feelings from everybody close to me because I was too afraid to offend them... I just wanted to have friends, that was all, I didn't mind they were the only ones talking and I was just agreeing with whatever they would say. Some people told me it was not a healthy relationship though so I changed, I chose some of my closest friends; I o
  24. @lostandhurt Hello, thank you so much for answering. I am sorry I didn't reply sooner. Well, I did as you told me, I reached two of my closest friends and I was sincere about myself... Now I am in such a mess... because I opened up, they did as well... and now everything is completely out of hands; we had many discussions just a few weeks ago... But I am not blaming you, maybe I just chose the wrong people to open up; I thought they were my closest friends, never though they were silently trying to date me (reason why they wanted to know some more and were so caring and understanding at th
  25. I tried volunteering once, but when I did it, I was too shy to start a conversation with anybody. I hadn't thought about it lately, it may be a good idea. Thank you so much for being so patient with me and my rants...
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