gemini_male_33

Hi Jason Thanks 4 your posting - it in some silly ways helps to know there r others - and you have my sympathy. I regret that I ever let 'family' come before making my fortune, however, too late now - I am not in your situation of being able to financially set-up my partner and kids for more than a couple of months! thereforeeeeeee I envy your success and believe you have found the escape I can only dream about. Best wishes, GM33

...however, may I suggest there is a possibility that your partner may be playing safe - I get the impression she may be feeling insecure, bearing in mind the above comments and replies. It is possible, that she is preparing to leave, but needs somewhere secure to go to. Obviously, without meeting you two it is impossible to entirely understand the situation, but mentally preparing yourself for the worst and providing yourself with exercise, mental stimulation and the company of YOUR friends could soften the pain of losing her. If she is not going to leave, the extra vibrancy you feel in improving your life will make you more, rather than less attractive to your partner. Don't give your partner the reason she needs to leave, show her you are a content and supportive friend without putting her under pressure - constantly asking for reasons, explanations and where she has been will only reduce the time you spend together. Why not start an outdoors hobby together? Wishing you the best of luck, D.

I am a British male, aged 33 and a father of 2 boys [7 and 4.5] and 1 girl [nearly 3]. I read of problems regarding losses of sex drive, less intimacy and maintaining a good sex life, but nothing appears to cover my specific situation. I have a high s/drive, while my girlfriend has none. It is rare that she ever gets turned-on, and if she did, she would ignore it. She has no idea what 'Sex' or 'Intimacy' mean and, although I am possibly the most patient man alive, even I am now totally fed up with feeling unwanted. There are some complicated side-issues, which include (a) She was abused from 6 to 13 yo. [she attended some counselling, but considers the issue 'closed' now] (b) She has never learn to masturbate [ok, not an issue, but masturbation teaches us what we do or do not enjoy, etc.] © She is resentful of talking about the problem [i have raised the issues and attempted discussion more than 20 times over the last 5-6 years.] (d) I was her first proper partner. [Due to fear, the unknown, etc we waited over 6 months for sex] (e) Sex with her is pathetic - she has no idea, nor seems to want one. (f) Of the 10-14 days she is not menstruating, she gets no pleasure from sexual contact for 85-95% of the time. (g) She will not touch me first, ever. [i feel guilty even considering touching her, but try anyway.] (h) Oral is not a consideration. [i am very giving in this area, but get no opportunity, nor any thing offered to me.] We are the best of friends, have common interests and spend a lot of quality time together. Even so, to raise the subject of our [my?] problem guarantees bad feeling for at least a week, plus prevents any intimacy or attempted intimacy for 2-4 months. I would leave, but love her too much. I would consider any potential solution, but have tried most things, including ripping my life apart to try to please and support her. I am desperate.