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About James1982

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  1. I totally relate to this post. I’ve been told I do it because I have low self esteem... well I don’t believe I do. And in my situation I date them, feel no spark but I have several dates as people say you need to let it grow and get to know someone... so I don’t think a good many dates makes you a horrible person and that it will hurt the person. I’ve only ever had that spark once maybe twice.. I hate the fact I may never find someone I do have the spark with again... I’ve dated incredible women and for some reason I just don’t look at them and feel I want to rip their clothes
  2. Thanks for the replies!! I guess I never wanted it to end originally and I just can’t figure out how someone can one day be one way and the next like people have said, flick of a switch and you never existed to that person. I really just wish it didn’t waste this energy on her. What I hate is the thought of her happy doing whatever with someone else yet me... I’m alone now, have to start again when I don’t want to, I don’t want to start again but I’m left with no choice, I’m sad she’s happy. Really upsets me that I am the loser out of it
  3. Yeah she had to drive past me, couldn’t miss me. I just think it speaks volumes but I don’t listen to myself. I know she’s rubbish. But can’t stop myself being misser
  4. See my ex today at traffic lights she didn’t even look at me yet she see me. Either way had she looked/smiled/ignored me, would have left me to over think everything Just disappointed that after 5 years, holidays good times etc etc she couldn’t even look at me. Was only a few months ago she’s saying she loved me and we are doing cool stuff together. Not sure how you can lie or just flick feelings off like a light switch :(
  5. Had about 7/8 sessions now. Some weeks I think I learned something today and some days I think it was just me getting things off my chest... I’ll stick with it but I’m also going to go to the doctors, I’m still struggling and feel depressed I think I need some help to take the edge off things. I don’t think I’m learning that much (yet) just I have low self esteem and I shouldn’t have... apparently I’m a catch.
  6. Struggled with it today... didn’t enjoy it. Sat not talking for a bit and felt I had to talk so was talking about random stuff.
  7. I have the same thoughts of my ex with someone else. My mind obsesses and before I know it I have made some fantasy up in my head and I’m panicking I try to keep busy on things to take my mind off of it but that’s also hard. I find myself wanting to think about it. Try listening to break up recovery podcasts there’s some decent ones out there and on YouTube Journaling is also good, write how you feel etc just let it out. Do workouts at home, since covid I swear I have never been as busy as I am now, I do a workout in the morning or a run, and a hour walk in the evening, catch up
  8. First session today guys and felt good to let it out. Seemed positive so far went through my breakup(S) there has 5 or 6 with my ex... I believed my ex was narcissistic and that was also backed up today in my session so that made me feel that I wasn’t imagining the behaviour. I still miss her and us and can’t stop obsessive thinking that she is probably with someone else... but I guess I need a lot more time... and I am trying to fix things and help myself so I’m proud of myself for doing it today Thanks
  9. Done it guys, got an appointment with a counsellor let’s see what happens. Really low today. Mind is on over drive just can’t control it
  10. Hi thank you for posting. We live close like 10 min but I think we could go a long time and not see each other. But you know it’s going to happen one day. I’m my own worst enemy. I don’t have enough going on in my life. That’s the fact of the matter. So I have all this time to sit here going over conversations 2 months back now and thinking too much. In the past few days my minds escalated- from her talking to someone in the final days of the relationship- to being in isolation together her and the new guy... to now in my head she’s pregnant - I just can’t turn it off. I’m losing my mind
  11. Just want to thank people that posted replies to me. It’s nice people take time to do so and help. Even reading the posts feels therapeutic I’m trying to do this cold turkey, trying to block out these negative thoughts that don’t help me. I think I panic, everyone I know are settled, families etc and I’m back flying solo, and I know I shouldn’t but the thought of her moving on having kids and I’m still searching for a partner and not any further forward really worries me
  12. No it’s the same pattern it will be ok for a few months then once the novelty wears off no doubt I’ll be back here again... see I know the problem I just got to go cold turkey Yeah I do like my own company like the lockdown it’ll fine with it, I find it chilled out and no pressure I should be out and doing something - you know FOMO lol But life’s better with two right who wants to be alone
  13. Probably just because it would take this pain away give me a rush. Don’t want to be on my own. Im worried I won’t find them feelings again Probably power too I feel hurt and can’t believe it’s happened again. All I keep thinking is I’m here feeling awful and she’s there on a massive high with someone else
  14. Thank you I appreciate your posts. It feels like a drug and the supply has just been turned off. Now I’m going cold turkey not through choice as I wouldn’t of split up with her. We were in the process of going abroad with my job, completed the visa application etc etc then I noticed she was constantly online on WhatsApp which rang alarm bells... then what do you know excuses for not meeting up until the messages to me stopped... then all of a sudden it’s over again... If I was to go back no one would respect me (I’d they still do) my mum even said I’d be on my own if I went back. I’m
  15. I would as I know he is thoughtful, kind, caring but at the moment, no I wouldn’t because I think he’s still hung up on his ex... You offer some great advice thank you In a previous relationship I do feel I was ‘settling’ we were good to hang out with yet things were missing for example she was as keen on going on holidays - in three years we never had one!!! We finished and I met my current ex a month or two down the line. Instantly i was hooked and knew this is what I had been waiting for... she is attractive but not you know 10/10 I don’t want to give the impression I am looking
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