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halfbeast

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  1. halfbeast
    ha ha! I wrote "feel" instead of "think" - weird.
  2. halfbeast
    what if the parents DID something wrong? I know a few who just got rid off their parents before it was too late ("rid off" as living somewhere else, not burying them in the garden). and there is no right or wrong in suicide. it's your belief that tells you that. though, I don't feel that it is a good solution. sometimes it really could be a relief - depending on the situation. so, what do you believe in? maybe we can take it from there.
  3. halfbeast
    sure, you can do school here, it's 3 years, and only half a day, so, one can work the other half. BUT I don't see myself being here for another 3 or 4 years and am looking for a job already since 2 years. PLUS my exes started to harass me again, over email or other communication possibilities. makes the situation even more unbearable (don't wanna say that on record, but they also risk their own lives - just.need.weapon.fast!)
  4. halfbeast
    6 years is a long time, maybe that's why it won't work. it is sort of like a curse of all addictions. if it were drugs, you won't get any flash, cuz you just do it out of the routine. try other stuff, if you're more aggressive, try to hit your bed (punching it) or anything else that's not too hard. depending where you live, you could run as fast as you can, to a place no one's around and scream as loud as you can. just to get the feeling out of you. after all it's better than just hurting yourself.
  5. halfbeast
    yet, I don't have a place to crash, I already got me the infos about studying abroad. forget about it. they told me, it's hard enough to be admitted outside your own country, plus I don't even have the right school degree to study even here. so, college is out of question.
  6. halfbeast
    out of curiosity: where do you cut yourself? (I mean bodyparts)
  7. halfbeast
    as for college - will check that out as soon as I got a place to stay...
  8. halfbeast
    so, what assures you that "everything's gonna be alright"? - just a question. I don't wanna be negative or something, I'm just telling that I learned it that way. I worked hard to get at least something I wanted. I got kicked in the buttocks whilst doing it and at the end I got just other kicks. I mean, if an ape gets electroshocks by touching a banana, after a while he'd learn to never touch one again! right at the moment (and I don't mean this second than more like this whole year) I don't see any sense for beating around with life. if you have one, tell me. please. otherwise, I maybe just prove that I'm more stupid than an ape...
  9. halfbeast
    maybe I should mention my age sorry! um, I was 18 the last time I graduated.
  10. halfbeast
    18, actually - I did an apprenticeship, a commercial one (like typing letters and making coffee, do you understand now, why I'm going bonkers?) - afterwards I told myself stuff only.
  11. halfbeast
    @bitterness inc, I pressume, that you live in geneva or somewhere around. I don't know about geneva, but lausanne had this nice charm - but then, I just went there for partying... I grew up in aargau (argovie) and live now in zurich (the last 3 years). I worked at the MNA (mineurs non accompagnés) and heard some stories too. it's one thing what says in the law and another one how people live with it. sure lots of people find refuge in switzerland, but ever thought how the swiss are dealing with it? and I'm not a refugee, I was born here - which makes anything even worse. and for my excuse, I didn't mention that before, I cannot go studying right away, cuz I don't qualify for it. you need a certain degree, right? I don't know equivalents for in the states, but for example here in switzerland you need a "matura" (which I don't have), in germany an "abitur" and in france a "baccaleauriat" (or however you write it) - so, I will have to spend another 3 years before the studies even begin.
  12. halfbeast
    d'où de la france es-tu? that's sure one thing to think about. any advise where to look at (keywords for google-ing)? I was in the army here in switzerland, as it is a law, but only for 10 days, they suspended me, after I cut my palms (as a refuse for using a mankilling weapon).
  13. halfbeast
    I'd put that into my "no money"-section. at the moment I don't even have a place to stay (well for next month). plus I hardly can see myself doing school here...
  14. halfbeast
    sheesh, don't know yet. actually, I'd like go back to school. but considered working in a bar, you know, lots of people you meet, and there's always this slight chance to meet somebody who is willing to help you getting further. I did web design once, but not anymore (lost the passion for it). photography is something I looked forward to do for a living - and love languages.
  15. halfbeast
    this was last year, I stupidly came back to switzerland. I was in new york and los angeles (well LA only for a week -> no driver's license).
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