I lost my mum 4.5 months ago. It's been a roller coaster of emotions from needing people all around me while we were all in abit of shock, disbelief and just extreme sadness. The sadness has moved to really deep inside this deep sadness that I'm sure will never go away but hoping in a way i can learn to live with it easier. I'm finding at this point in time I'm torn between wanting to remember my mum in every way and wanting to forget as to not feel pain and not to keep reliving o my head that she's really really gone.
My partner is pissing me off more and more. I feel he just doesn't understand what I'm going through. I'll admit that yeh I'm probably abit confusing as I'm happy one min, shut off the next but he isn't helping things at all when he bugs on me about feeling unloved by me lately and moping around bcos I haven't given him any sex for 2 weeks. 2 weeks! Like give me a break man. I really try to give to him when I'm feeling good but I'm just so numb at the moment it's the last thing I want. Thoughts of me leaving are becoming more regular but as we have 3 small children I really need to wrk out in my head if this is really the best thing for us. Am I being irrational. Our relationship has never been perfect and I have a lot of issues from his past mistakes and selfishness that I do have a good reason to be questioning as I'm just not sure we if he is the right one for me. I crave to feel connected and although he's always done the right thing by me he's never been a great communicater and him making me upset and causing fights becos he needs me to keep explaining to him is driving me up the wall. I will literally stop talking altogether soon if he keeps this up
I'm just so confused, I just want to take off anywhere.. Somewhere...
