deadbattery

Ok iv been thinking a lil . How does this sound! I think this is the right thing to do. I like her as a friend , but no I dont want her thinking anything more *because lets face it guys!! we have no real control at times* Im thinken bout pullen her aside and tellen her that some of the things we have been doin like tickling to much/ setting on my lap etc. Isent right for her age, expecially because of the gap in age. Tell her that I do like playen with her , *basketball etc*. But that we should keep it to that , haveing fun *playen bball etc* I do want her to know that she can tell me anything though , cause she always has a sad kinda look on her face , thats what first got me tryen to cheer her up I guess.Anyways to many people around me , and everyones arguing and yelling , maken me sick to my stomach. lata , again loves to all thx for help / advice.

Its not a sexual attraction , lol , thought I said that , guess I dint. Anyways , I dont know , dosent matter that much ill be leaving in like 2 weeks anyways. I thought Id post all that because, well I dont know with all the bullsh** thats goin on in my house right now I cant think. Id rather just bleed out ...... I hate everything as of now , but most of all me , Im lost , I dont know. pass the beer. I dint have any problems like this till I came down to my dads for a month, I dint wana come , it always puts me in an emotional spot. The only thing I did have goin for me was that I felt my mom wanted me around ( whom I am staying with in pa where I live). Anyways it sorta seems like she dosent want me there any more. I am honestly thinking about running away , then ending it. Least anyone who might feel bad wont, thell have hope at least , I dont know the only reason I havent yet is because I always hated the fact that my mom/dad or anyone im close to might follow me and do the same thing I did , and end it. I really really dont know and im sorry for wasteing peoples time. Ending things would solve it all. Bye. btw incase I dont do something stupid , just outa curosity ill check this post , please dont pull stupid sh*t about dont do this dont do that. Nothing matters even if I ask this anywayz , god I hate this I hate everything about me and just plane out everything.

Alright, one this is my frist post so be gental Alright , a lil background to the problem. I live in pa with my (divorced) mom and am now in va with my dad and his new wife(which have been together for awhile now) anyways thats just the location background. Iv had a weird childhood , from a divorced living to a constantly moving (as in 8 times each year at least if im lucky) to being abused mentaly and in other ways which i dont wana discuss by family members. Theres a lil more background . Now focus on this , the problem. Im 18 finally , had plenty of good relationships but usually eneded in breakups because of moving. I still havent had sex cause Im no that type of guy I guess. Unless I plan on living with you for the rest of my life , your not getten with me , sry love. (Sry iv been drinking if this dosent make since) even if the backgrounds weird , heres the prob. Im with my dad visiting for 2 months. The next door neghibors girl is only 11 but she looks and acts older. We havent done anything really just flirted around , but its getten to the point where she might even wana kiss soon. Iv been thinken bout her and her life to come, iv told myself shes young , got alot to look forward to. For that reason I dont know if im gona take the flirting any further even if she wants 2. Shes just 2 young , some things she does though does get me a lil stupid. Like setting in my lap and leaning back so that her face is less that a foot away and her hairs in my face, tickling etc. No matter what I like/love her , but since shes so young , Im thinken bout pushen myself towards the bigbrother type route. Or (to the girls) do you guys think that 11 is an ok age to flirt , even with the age gap. Im not really thinken bout her in a sexual way , more of a cuddle look at the great view , have a good night, sweat dreams type of thing. She just has a lot to live through and even if the age gap isent a factor I think she deserves to experance love and breakups around her age till shes mine. I dont know god life sux Im in such a weird and new situiation. love is crazy anyways im getten eatn up by dam misquitoes, night. Btw I like her for her. if u know that err to much to drink anyways , give me some good advice , no haters with anger problems please. Lots of love to you all night.