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Everything posted by BecxyRex

  1. I read until the part where you mentioned he knowingly hid STDs from you. That alone would make me exit that relationship really fast with no turning back.
  2. Sarah, I have. I'm waiting on what they say before I solidify some sort of plan. I like working here if it wasn't for the meager compensation.
  3. Just cost of living in general is rising, especially in the city I live in it seems. Daycare cost is increasing this month for example. I'm finding myself penny pinching more than usual and we don't live a lavish lifestyle. My wage is also lower compared to friends who work in the same field, but different companies. I like the atmosphere of my workplace and after all these years I feel comfortable here, I just feel like I'm stuck financially and it's getting harder to live as costs rise.
  4. Technically we're not supposed to know how much everyone makes. I'm not sure about it being illegal or not. People are very lose with this info though and I overheard them talk about it on multiple occasions. I wasn't planning on using this information in my talk with HR and supervisor though.
  5. Hi everyone, I'm not quite sure how to handle this situation or know if I'm too pushy or not assertive enough. I'm hoping some folks with more experience in this regard can give me some tips. I've been with my company for nearly 6 years (in December) and in all those 6 years I have gotten a $1.76 raise total. Both of those were a part of everyone getting "surprise" raises, so no individual raise. Recently, I've noticed that lots of new hires we're getting are already making more than I am. I've heard this in conversations here and there. These people sometimes do the same work I do and come to me for guidance or are sent to me by our supervisor to explain a project. I'm not technically a lead or supervising artist, but I have explained steps to new people, who are making more money right off the bat. It's kind of irritating at this point. I understand that cost of living changes and that they couldn't afford to hire people nowadays for the same wage they had when I was hired, but as an employee of 6 years I feel like I'm falling to the wayside and it's hard to keep up with increasing life costs with the same income. Anyway, I asked our HR lady to talk about a potential raise and she was very willing to meet with me 2 days later. During this meeting I explained that I've had good yearly reviews and led a few comic book projects all on my own, from start to finish, with happy clients always. She assured me she'd talk to my supervisor and CFO and will make sure to get the ball rolling in no more than 2 weeks time. This was at the beginning of July. I waited for the 2 weeks to be up with no word from her. I approached her a bit after and was told that my supervisor needs an additional 2 weeks to make a decision. He had broken his ankle during that time and was out for a few days, so I understood that times were a little crazy for him. The additional 2 weeks were up (a month after our initial meeting) and I approached her again, since I hadn't heard from her. She informed me that my supervisor is on vacation and she would "follow up with him after he got back". He gets back on a Wednesday and I give them the remaining week to hopefully talk about this. On Monday I approach her yet again and get this reply: "I should be able to pin xx down next week. I haven’t gotten much face time with him since he just got back from being out for a week." The week she's trying to pin him down passes with no word from her. I sent her a message again yesterday asking if she was able to get face time with him last week and have not gotten a response from her at all. I sent the message at 11:30 am yesterday... I have no idea what to do at this point. I don't want to be annoying, since I'm sure they haven't forgotten about my request, but I don't want to be too passive either. I understand I might not get a raise at all, but this waiting state has me stressed. I'd rather just know and go from there, potentially rethink my employment here depending on the answer I get. I've heard through the grapevine that she's been seeing the doctor a few times for vertigo and I understand she's got a lot to do. I just find this constant delay stressful and it's eating at my own motivation to do good work. I still do my best, but I'm starting to feel very under appreciated and am dreading to even go in sometimes. Any advice? Thanks for reading!
  6. He sounds really annoying to deal with. Doesn’t sound like you were being unreasonable in wanting to find a calm moment to address something that bothered you, but he doesn’t seem willing to discuss when he deems it unworthy. At this point I’d cut my losses. Doesn’t sound like something that will get better miraculously. You mentioned at the end of your post that you found him self centered before this argument too. Can what makes you feel that way? Also, unless you’re using him as a free taxi service, it’s really none of his business when you decide to get your license.
  7. Ok what’s done is done, there’s not much you can change about how you treated him, but I’d start off with a sincere apology for your behavior and give him the space he needs. Whatever happens afterwards, who knows, but I’m sure he’s just as confused as you are about what happened between you two. Time to process is in order. I’m sure you realize this by now, but taking a step back to let tempers cool off is a wise decision on his end. I would have felt completely pushed into a corner were I him. No wonder he reacted the way he did. What is wrong with holding hands with a brides maid? I’m sure it was a quick gesture, nothing meant to upset. Maybe they know each other and caught up, shared a little memory or talked about some thing they had in common. You need to chill. It’s not a good look to let yourself become so jealous, when you yourself say that you trust him. As far as the ex is concerned, what good would it do for him to notify you the second he saw her? Based on how you went off on him, I’m not surprised he’s afraid of your reaction. He brought YOU as a date to the wedding, not her or anyone else. You need to let that sink in a bit and start giving the guy some slack. I have to ask, why the jealousy? Has he ever given you any indication he’s not over his ex or flirted with women or made you feel otherwise uncared for in the relationship?
  8. I wouldn’t jump to the conclusion that he doesn’t really need to clean the house. I myself enjoy Sundays to get the house back in shape and clean up. That typically won’t take an entire day, unless I take my sweet time and have nothing else planned. Just to throw out there that there are indeed people who find pleasure in having a weekend day dedicated to cleaning up. Anyway, I still think his lack of initiating only two months in could mean you indeed are pushing too much and aren’t really giving him the chance to initiate. Dial it back some and see what changes. It could also mean he’s not that into you and sees you as a welcome distraction from his recent break up. All of these are guesses though. You’ve mentioned to him already that you’d like for him to initiate more and not much has changed. This early in he’s showing you who he is so the question is if it’s right for you. It seems you’re looking for someone more eager this early on and I don’t blame you. It’s still early days so I’d suggest dialing back and giving him room and if that doesn’t work, cut your losses. Early on in dating my experience has always been me trying to make room for solo time vs. chasing after the guy to spend time with me.
  9. BecxyRex

    Let it go?

    Sounds like you guys are into each other, but timing is a bit inconvenient. I’d give her space to settle in her new environment and put starting a relationship on the back burner for now. She’ll need time to adjust to her new school and it’s good that she seems to be making that a priority. You should likewise focus on your school for now and if it so happens that you go to school close to her you can slowly start from there. In the meantime I don’t see anything wrong with catching up as friends here and there, but try to keep it balanced and let her come to you as well, as to not overwhelm her.
  10. Not to burst your friends bubble, but it’s really hard to just up and go and live in the United States forever. I moved here myself from another country so I know how involved that whole visa process can be. Aside from that, I know how sad it must make you feel to lose your close friends. I’ve been through it so many times myself, from leaving my home country and best friends to moving to a city that seems to attract people who only want to stay a certain amount of time. But that’s life. People come and go and I’ve managed to maintain a close friendship back in the motherland for over 10 years now. Same with some close friends I’ve made here who moved away. We talk on the phone weekly, update each other in between through messaging and of course visit back and forth. Dynamics always change, but you will find that to be true for people who live in the same city. People grow up, start to have families etc. It hasn’t ceased to be hard for me to get used to someone going away, but life goes on and you meet new people and find a new rhythm.
  11. Really good points everyone. I think if anything, I might just get a tiny something for her, but definitely not for baby yet. Thank you!
  12. That's why I was apprehensive. Thank you!
  13. One of my really good friends just told me she's pregnant and I'm beyond excited for her. She's only 6 weeks and told me not many people know yet, and that she wants to tell only her closest friends and family for now. We are going to brunch this weekend and my question is, do I bring her a little gift or is that just not appropriate, given how fragile an early pregnancy can be? Should I wait until she makes an official announcement? I want to show my joy and support, but don't want to be too much either. Thanks!
  14. Definitely give it back. She’ll let you know then if she wants you to keep it, but it’s better than assuming.
  15. What springs to mind is Addison’s disease, when the adrenal glands stop reproducing enough cortisol. It seems that some of the symptoms are weight loss, darkening of the skin in areas and a craving for salt. Maybe mention it to your doctor or do some research, but none of us can diagnose you here. You need to see a specialist.
  16. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’m crossing my fingers that your test results will be negative. Personally, I wouldn’t contact her and focus completely on your recovery. Her reaction to your diagnosis or lack thereof may set you back, and I think you need all your strength now to get through this. Best of luck to you!
  17. I am so thankful that I don’t have to deal with your pettiness personally. I’ve given away assloades of Baby clothes that my daughter outgrew and my fiancé has never made a peep about it, let alone notice. I’m so thankful for him in this moment I think I’m going to run him a bubble bath and pour him a glass of whiskey.
  18. I'm currently translating a website into english, but am not entirely sure on comma use in this instance. I'm wanting to apply commas as if it was my native language, but sometimes I'm not sure. Maybe you can help me out. I'm looking for instances with the word "that" to expand upon a sentence. For example "We are creating a beautiful working environment, that's enriched by...blabla" Is there a comma before "that" or no? Thank you! I hope this type of question is allowed.
  19. That is super weird! I’ve actually never experienced someone coming up to me asking if they could have some of my food. It’s a bit off putting for sure, unless it’s someone I’m dating. Even then I tend not to ask until I’m offered a bite. The furthest I’ve gone at work is send a message in a group chat if someone had an extra piece of gum they could throw my way. It’s actually making me chuckle to think about going up to a coworker and being like “yo bro your lunch looks legit, can I have some?” But yeah I agree that you could say that you didn’t bring that much to eat and you want it to last you throughout the day and most people would understand. Maybe you’ve handed out so much, everyone assumes you’re the go to person for some extra snacks?
  20. Have you seen making a murderer about Steven Avery? I haven’t followed up with the case after the show ended on Netflix, but his lawyer Kathleen Zeller (I think that was her name) fascinated me! Good on you to have this goal and I wish you all the best pursuing it. It’s a bit inspiring to hear someone going back to school for such an intensive degree, as I’ve been thinking about getting a second degree myself. I’ll have to wait a bit until my daughter is older to be able to dedicate the time, but you’ve pushed me a bit further towards wanting to achieve this. So thanks I guess ;) I know you’ve mentioned you’re not looking for advice on your relationship and by the sounds of it you’ve made up your mind pretty much to let this one go. I just want to throw out there that I don’t find his behavior to be very surprising, especially if you had talked about potentially having children. That career change would sort of throw that out the window for the next few years and depending on how excited he was about starting a family at some point, I’m sure it put a big damper on him. Anyway, it seems beside the point as this is clearly not what you want so it’s probably better to know this now than later. Good luck to you though in pursuing this goal! I’m still fairly sure that you are indeed fine to be in a relationship, but perhaps not the kind you’ve been in. Never say never!
  21. Depending on how long or intense your relationship was, 8 months is really not a long time to be split up. Especially not if he left you and you were still in love. It took me a good few years to be over one specific ex completely. By that I mean, I was completely fine as long, as I didn’t hear from him or know what he was up to. As soon as I heard from him (at the time I didn’t know much about nc) it sent me back to questioning his motives for every single thing he would throw my way. I learned that not exposing myself physically and digitally was the absolute best thing I did for myself. If you haven’t already, block him from everything so you won’t be exposed to these little signs he throws your way. Chances are he’s over it and thought to send a friendly greeting with not much thought behind it. I’ve been guilty of this myself. Reaching out to an ex, thinking enough time had passed to be on friendly terms again, only to realize that person is reading way more into it. If you were completely moved on then of course there’d be no issue to send a quick happy 4th back, but it sounds like you’re perhaps hoping it’s a door that might slowly open again. Do yourself the favor and don’t respond. Block his new Instagram and keep healing.
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