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Everything posted by BecxyRex

  1. I haven't read all the answers, but to me it sounds like he's afraid these new college friends will spill some information that might embarrass him. Maybe he's doing badly in some class or got into trouble and doesn't want you to know. Maybe he's adopted a new "cool" persona and doesn't want you to call his bluff in front of them, since you know his childhood friends and family and presumably the real him. Sometimes people want a fresh start and with a new group of friends they can be whoever they want. Who knows maybe he's even told some lies to make himself sound better and obviously you would know. Of course he might have an interest in one of the girls and has told her things to make himself sound better. But we don't know this. Fact is, he's treating you poorly, whatever reasons they may be. I'd have a calm talk with him and let him know how it makes you feel. If he blows up, go h
  2. Good point, I was thinking that too. I believe she mentioned she deleted the number after blocking though. Don't think you can retrieve that again.
  3. Is it possible she's trying to turn the tables and see if you'd chase her as much as she did in the beginning? Maybe it's her way of testing the waters? The fact she started spilling sexual details of her past made me think she's perhaps trying to illicit jealousy in you? She could also be seeking some space to figure out her feelings. I tend to be like that in the early stages of dating. After a while, I retreat to figure out how I really feel about this new person, and recharge by focusing on myself before diving back in with a clear head.
  4. I'm sorry you're hurting, but the best thing you can do for yourself is cut all contact with this woman, and stop anyone from telling you what she's been up to. It doesn't matter what she does now, you guys are broken up. Delete her number, block her on social media etc. it's the only way to stay sane and get over her. She's choosing that life over you and that's all you need to know.
  5. I haven't read all replies here, but want to add my 2 cents, since your situation sounds a bit like mine. I left a "perfect" relationship of 10 years a while back, and struggled with the decision making process for quite a while. I was so afraid of regretting my decision and never finding a guy again as loving and caring as he was. Towards the end I was happiest when I wasn't around him and doing things on my own, imagining what it would be like to date again. When I was with him we got along very well, but I was so restless and not romantically interested in him. I was so afraid of hurting him and shattering his world, but I now don't regret my decision whatsoever. I did hurt him and the process dragged out longer than it should. He was shattered and down, but he has a girlfriend now who adores him. My advice is, get it over with and set him free. Being half in and out hurts you both more than pulling the plug quickly. You'll find someone who you can be passionate about, and that feels a million times better than imagining life without your boyfriend while he's snuggled on the couch next to you.
  6. I was in the same sitatuion as you. I immigrated to the US based on a marriage visa and you indeed are not allowed to work, until you receive your legal permanent residence. That process can sometimes take many months. My then husband had to support the both of us, and he knew this before we made the decision. I would've done the same for him in return. I was lucky that I got to work at my university during this process, as it wasn't considered a "real job", yet I made a little bit of income to at least provide groceries or my half for night outs. I also got a little bit of financial support from my parents to take some of the burden off. I understand how you feel helpless right now, but I can also see the toll it takes on her, as it was similar with my then husband. He never complained, but he was drained at the time. We were both very young as well. While making these plans sounds good initially, when reality hits, it can be quite exhausting. I'd suggest trying to find ways to make a bit of cash, like someone else suggested. It'll show her that you're not just sitting around taking the support from her and her parents. I'd also talk to her again about what you had agreed upon in the beginning to get back on the same page. I agree, once you're married you're there through the thick and thin, but it helps to give room for complaints and just listen to her. She might just need to vent. If she's that overwhelmed, she might not be the right partner, since she knew what she was getting into.
  7. I've learned with me it has a lot to do with "not having control". I like to have control over things whether it's me driving or to a lesser degree what my partner does or doesn't do. I don't act on these thoughts and know how to manage myself, but I've spent some time analyzing why something might bother me. Have you had a traumatic experience in your past where you lost control?
  8. Young John Lydon and Heath Ledger!
  9. Oooff, that's frustrating. A couple of minutes here and there is understandable, but it sounds like her norm is around 2 hours. It clearly isn't registering with her, so maybe, instead of just bringing up how inconsiderate she's being, set a time for yourself that you'll be willing to wait. So instead of waiting on her for 2 hours, give her 30 minutes max. and then go on with your day. If she contacts you about why you're not at the restaurant, you could say that you didn't think she'd show and you had made other plans for the evening. Don't even be critical, but say it nonchalantly. Maybe if she sees the consequences of her behavior, she'll try harder to be on time.
  10. I know that'd make more sense. No my landlord is definitely milking us in that regard. The rent increase and deposit are all reasonable
  11. let's just say a couple... It is outrageous, I agree. Sadly, it's in the lease. That amount is in there, I just failed to see this.
  12. Yeah, I completely understand what you mean. I'm going to offer my help, but leave it at that and not pull it out as a weapon in future fights. It's $250 a day... I'm totally to blame here. In my previous post I said it's not in the lease, but it actually is. I had not seen that part when I first signed it. Only when I looked at it again did I see.
  13. Hm, it's not really about being afraid of anything here. Just curious how others would handle this.
  14. I've posted before recently about my boyfriend and his dog moving in. I appreciate all the advice I got from you. I talked to my landlord pretty much immediately after and confessed that the dog had been staying a couple of days before officially announcing. My landlord is a very reasonable guy and I was able to get some understanding from him. We worked out a new lease agreement so that I can officially live with my bf and his dog. The rent was slightly raised which is fine. We split evenly so it's still cheaper for me than previously on my own. My landlord wants a pet deposit as well, which is also fine. My boyfriend is going to pay for that. Unfortunately my landlord is charging a fee for housing the dog for those days before I asked him officially. I agreed, since I'm at fault for not consulting with him first. Overall, I'm glad it worked out and that he's allowing the dog to live there. The thing is, the fee + pet deposit + rent are a pretty large chunk of money at once for my bf. It's his dog, but in a way I'd hate to see him pay it all himself. I've asked friends and have heard mixed messages. Some say it's on him, since the dog is his, others say they'd split the cost since we're serious about each other and technically she's my dog now too. So I'm wondering what I should do here. My boyfriend is wanting to pay on his own but is a little stressed about the amount at once. I'd like to alleviate and not just sit there and let him carry all the financial burden. Any advice?
  15. I'll talk to him soon about this, thanks for your advice. So far he doesn't know my boyfriend's been living there and there's no way to prove he's not just a guest. I know what you mean though. I don't want to get caught with a dog inside, that's why I'll have to bring it up.
  16. It doesn't say anything on the lease about pets, that's why I was surprised to hear my landlord doesn't allow dogs. It's the reason I've been hesitant to ask him, but it sounds like that's my only option.
  17. Hi all, I'd like some advice on this situation I'm currently in, regarding my boyfriend's dog. My boyfriend (of about a year) recently moved into my house. He spent almost all of his time at my place anyway, and we figured it would be beneficial to just move in together, and save some money on rent. It's great and we love living together. Here's the issue: my boyfriend has a semi-large dog (shepherd mix), who now lives in my house, as well. She's a very friendly, easy dog. She's 12 and very laid back, so not at all a difficult pet. While my lease doesn't specify "no pets", I did hear from my friends (who used to live in my house until they moved away, and I took over their lease) that my landlord does not like dogs inside. His reasoning is that the claws will scratch the wooden floors. Knowing this, I feel myself in a bit of a pickle. On the one hand, I could tell him my boyfriend wants to move in and ask to make an exception about the dog. I'd offer to pay any sort of pet deposit, but if he insists it's not possible, I'd feel uncomfortable sneaking the dog in and out every day. My second option would be to keep it a secret, sort of like we have been, but that's increasingly difficult, and making me uncomfortable. He lives in the neighborhood and may walk by, or do repairs at any time. It's hard to miss the dog looking out of the window. I can't move out now, as my lease is still effective for a year. In all honesty, I also don't want to leave, since I love my place and the location. Finding something like it will be difficult, since it's very affordable for the area I live in. What should I do? Just be honest to my landlord and see where that takes me? What if he says no? Can he even do this, if it's not in the lease? I'd love any advice on this.
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