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Everything posted by Wateroflife

  1. Yup definitely clearing this up next time around. Thank you for the advice, much appreciated.
  2. Thank you very much. Its so helpful to hear outside perspectives especially when I try my best to do the right thing but still screw up sometimes and am pretty hard on myself about it.
  3. HAHA yeah and Mormons are so nice too! I invited some Mormons inside my house once , I was like oh definitely I'm ready to talk about God, and tried to show them some of my books they were like ohhhh we arnt allowed to read anything like that.
  4. Batya33 You have some interesting points but lets keep the bumpy topic of "drugs" out of it because its irrelevant, besides she smokes weed daily anyways and that still has nothing to do with our incompatibilities. One particularly interesting thing is she quickly jumped to the conclusion of the worst case scenario simply because I didn't text her for two days. That seems a little extreme to me. Boundaries around this idea were never talked about, and we had a usual pattern of a daily text, so believe me I know, I know now it would have been way more considerate to her feelings to just send
  5. They definitely are more of my type of tribe. I'll be spending more time with them making music in the near future. Who knows maybe I'll meet someone really special.
  6. Alright the deed has been done and I think it could gone better but do these things ever go well? I first apologized for not letting her know I’d be out of town for a few days and she let me know she thought that was really messed up. Then I told her I’ve been thinking the last week or two about a couple basic incompatibilities that I was starting to realize made us not a good match for a long term relationship. They were me wanting to keep the option open for kids at some point and about me wanting to move out of town in a couple years and not really wanting to maintain a long distance re
  7. This right here is a great way to put it for her. Thank you for your input and your thoughts leave me considering that maybe we both have been thinking about this for a little while.
  8. Its happening....and now its a bit beyond my control. Before I begin I'll back up with a little context to help you all understand the picture. We live 30 minutes from each other and see each other on average once or twice a week, usually during a sleep over. Other than that she or I will normally send at least one text a day. There have been times where a day will go by with no contact and other times where the only texting for the day is a light hearted emoji. We've never talked over the phone, only in person or text. The text conversations usually are light hearted and never go furt
  9. You're so right. I'm great at over thinking things. Thanks everyone for your support. I'll let you know how it goes.
  10. I just want to make it clear that I never pushed it on her or suggested she should take it, or told her she should take it. I don't believe in that either. Its a fine line between sharing information and convincing someone to do something but it does exist and she's 40 years old and so is more than capable of responsibly making her own decisions and knowing the difference. I certainly wouldn't be having the same conversation with a teenager. What I do believe in is access to information especially when it could mean improving someones life. I sent her a couple links about the studies on
  11. 100% on that one. Its been an important spiritual aspect in my life. Similar to why a Christian wouldn't be crazy about dating an atheist, I should find someone to be with that can share my perspective.
  12. Absolutely. I don't drink or smoke and neither does she so that was a unique plus I was totally down with. She smokes weed which I'm perfectly ok with even though I don't more than a few times a year these days. I found out early on that she wasnt into the idea of exploring lsd with me and I was cool with that because after all, its not for everyone and she's fine with me doing it once in a while. To be honest though I don't feel comfortable doing it around her because I know she can't really relate. It would be selfish of me to do so. I know it must sound like I'm doing lsd all the t
  13. Haha well that happened years ago but its still applicable. Whats been most helpful though is being able to talk about it with all of you and see the feedback. Since Jane and I share the same friends I'm not about to go unloading all this on someone who may end up talking to her the next day. You all have helped me think more clearly about the issue and I'm grateful for that.
  14. I know right?! Thats what I'm thinking too but its hard to figure out, I really don't have a ton of experience with relationships and I have a natural tendency to procrastinate on heavy decisions. I want to make sure I am making a wise decision and not just being too picky. The difficulty comes in where I realize she treats me better than most of the other women I have dated in the past. Part of me feels like I've landed a keeper for the good reasons, I want that quality in someone that I'm crazier about though. Another part of me thinks I might be settling for less than I've hoped for ou
  15. What do you think is the best way to end it without making it too emotional for her? I was thinking I need to break it down to 1 or 2 main things that don't seem like a personal attack on her. Do you have a suggestion?
  16. Thanks for your insight. Perhaps what it comes down to basically is theres plenty of people out there that have lived lives more like my own, and maybe I'd be better suited with someone like that for a long term thing.
  17. Hi, thanks for looking. The last week or so I've been contemplating whether I need to break up with my gf. Maybe you can shed some wisdom on me. I've been seeing this woman for about 4 months now. I'll call her Jane for the sake of the story here. Jane and I share some of the same friends and our friends suggested we try to meet and see if we would be a good couple. So I was intrigued and met up with her and after courting her for 2-3 weeks we shared our first kiss. Now I wasn't incredibly attracted to her physically but I figured thats not everything so I gave it a shot regardless.
  18. She acts like she's so sick of me but then acts like I am everything and has begged me not to leave her, she's willing to do nearly anything fir me if I stay with her. I never knew depression like this before, I never knew instability like this before.
  19. I'm experiencing anxiety attacks in fear of her getting randomly mad at me again. I can't take it I feel like I'm going to collapse in the ground and scream my throat off. This happened last night, she calmed me down as was very sweet, but I immediately became afraid that she was going to project hatred into me again within a day. I can't stand her getting mad at me anymore. I want to scream right now.
  20. I'm still pretty sure I need to send her away to back home, but it hurts to have to give up on the hope that things could be normal. I'm a pretty chill laid back creative type, I make art for my living. To be honest all I want is just peace, and a partner who doesn't engage in so much drama with me. Please God please help me make the right decision, and please help me find a better companion.
  21. Thanks for all your replies, she's 27 and lives with me. My friend told me that my crazy dream was a sign from the universe to get the heck away from her. I spent the night out last night, and she sent me a message saying "I'm sorry" at about 5am. It's hard to come to a solid conclusion when she seems to come around, however I've seen this all before more times than I care to remember. Today will likely be filled with her going into self misery mode and I'm not looking forward to it.
  22. None, she talks about needing it though but can't get it started in her own
  23. We're back together for a second round. We're trying to figure out how to get along with each other. Unfortunately we have fallen back into the same pointless loops and arguments that caused our initial break up three months ago. things are getting uglier. Arguments go a bit like this.... Everything seems to be going fine then I say something that triggers her somehow. Then she brings up the past some time over the last year that we've been together wear something I said or did hurt her feelings. As I listen to her it becomes obvious to me that I did not say what she says that I said, bu
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