floyd462

HI. My girlfriend left me because we had a fight about a guy we worked with that she was hanging out with. I got upset because she would never ask me to come along and also that he was very strange with me. So I ended up freaking out one day when I thought he'd done something at work to offend me. And I told her that if she would actually hang out with this jerk I'd think about breaking up with her.. So she broke up with me a week later saying that I was too controlling. This incident was the only time I'd ever been like that at all. In fact it goes against all of my principles. She'd regularly hung out with her last exboyfriend. So the truth is that he never did that on purpose apparently.. And all of my feelings of insecurity over the issue turned out to be spawned by the fact that I had undiagnosed depression which triggered a major episode after a stressful family event a few weeks prior. I was in need of support and her going off with other people felt like abandonment from my altered view at that time. So After we broke up my depression got even worse, obviously.. I ended up sending her lots of letters and calling saying how wrong I was and wishing for her to see that I am the man she always knew I was. But I think she is convinced I'm this totally different person.. In reality, I've gotten counseling to figure it out, and I feel very frustrated and hurt that she judges me because of the depression.. Also when we did break up she decided to bring it to work and the things she said made my workplace unworkable and I had to leave.. (causing even further depression) She has since apologized and come out about some issues she has that contributed to the break up, and both of us are doing alot of reflecting and soul searching. We had always had similar ways of thinking and even now we are separately persuing the same healing paths.. But she is afraid, i think; and she talks to me like i'm a child, and I'm just sad that she views me this way and that we can't try and work it out.. Is there anything I could do? It's hard to completely let go.. She is the girl I wanted to marry..

My girlfriend broke up with me 3 weeks ago because I had been acting like a major jerk.. I ended up having a panic attack at work as we work together. Turns out I had been in a slowly escalating depression for about a month. I'm getting myself together but she's already moving on. I'm now haunted by thoughts of her sexual encounters with new men. It really makes me sick and i'm not sure how to deal with this. How do I a)get over her considering that the reason we broke up was because of my behavior in the midst of a depression that i was unaware of. And I'm getting counseling so I'm back to normal.. b) HOW DO I get these thoughts of her new sex life out of my head. They are vivid visions and they really mess me up.. It makes it harder for me to get over her.. next.. she decided to get in touch with me after we agreed not to speak for a few weeks.. she told me i'm the only one who really 'knows' her and she needed to share personal things with me regarding family stuff. it only made my progress go backwards.. i don't know what to feel..