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butterfly110

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About butterfly110

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  1. I like my guy friend more than just a friend. We often hang out together, share common interests, have the same view points on life. We are basically two peas in a pod. One night we were talking about sex and he revealed that he was attracted to me. Naturally I felt thrilled. We talked the whole night through about our hopes and dreams. He said he liked girls who were spontaneous since he does everything at the moment and likes to go with the flow. And I like adventure. I asked if he liked me. His answer was not so hopeful. He said that he didn't like me in that manner (having feelings and a
  2. Yeah that's why I have started NC to heal. There is no point when someone has lost feelings. Some days, the guilt creeps back in and I felt I could have handled things differently. The what ifs, hows , whys plague my mind. Sometimes, I wonder how can I win back his heart. Sometimes I feel I wasn't worthy enough. Although I wish I could crush that tiny bit of hope inside. That was enlightening perspective though, that the past reflects poor decision making. I do remember telling him that I was really foolish back when I was young. I had set myself up for all the I went through..ignored all th
  3. That is true and a lesson I learnt this time. Not to ever bring up things from the past. It brings unnecessary troubles and not to mention preconceived notions. I have been trying to change my outlook on life. But is there any hope for things to work out? Or I have ruined things for good this time?
  4. Well, I hadn't used it for sympathy. He had revealed some incidents from his abusive childhood and he insisted that I tell him why was I so closed off. He wanted to hear the whole story. I trusted him so I told. I didn't expect he will go and share our conversations with his sister-friend. Nor had I asked to be "his world". My idea of a relationship is based on being equals and best friends. I prefer honesty and communication. But yes perhaps he never wanted the same depth of relationship I wanted.
  5. Moreover I don't think I posted this to be told whether I am a drama queen or not. I do realize that it takes two to tango and I do know my share of mistakes for which I have apologized to him. It seems here, everyone is quick to take sides.
  6. Of course I know the infatuation stage doesn't last. But bailing out on dates and spending most of your time with other female friends is not dating. I never asked to talk everyday or to call me every night. Even the conversations he initiated seemed forced and I pointed that out. I also said repeatedly that if he didn't want to do something or talk, he can just say so. Everyone needs their space. Calling out on his mistakes, isn't drama.
  7. I know its hard but you need to stop stalking. Its unhealthy, and you will never be able to move on. Just block him and focus on healing yourself. You are important. If he wanted to be with you you, he would contact you, he wouldn't have left you alone.
  8. My ex and I had been together for 10 months now. Early, he used to spend time with me, we used to talk often, laugh, have fun. He made me his world. After 4 months or so he started getting distant and stopped spending time with me. When I confronted him, he said that he thought I was using him and that his sister said I was using my past as a way to gain sympathy and love ( I had been through an abusive relationship a couple of years ago) He added he didn't fall for all that but due to cultural and religious differences he thought this was the best excuse to push me away. Drama happened w
  9. I hope someone treats you just as you treated me. Someone tells you that "you are not good enough" and crushes your soul and heart
  10. I have promised myself I will maintain at least 5 weeks of No contact. Day 3 I saw him on a social media today and I felt this pang of guilt and sadness creeping up inside me. I was pretty positive the previous days. But today is definitely not a good day. I think "Why doesn't he care about me?" "What did I do to deserve this?". I have been annoying my sister the whole morning, analyzing every nook and corner of the relationship to find out what went wrong even though I know now it doesn't matter anymore. Ugh this sucks.
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