serenitynow

Well, being a male and a fan of sports myself, I'll try to give my opinion. I'm not into actual football (more American football), but if my favorite team made it to the superbowl, and I could somehow go, I'd put it before anything. For a male into sports it can be a defining moment of his life. Maybe you could go with him and celebrate on the same day and then go to the game? Just try to be understanding, it's hard to understand how really obsessed a man into sports can be about their team.

How can I be a good friend for her if she can't even trust me to tell me these things? What confuses me is that she didn't tell any of her exbfs any of these things, but it's like she expects us to be more than that, so now she's disappointed that we would only be another couple like she's had in the past. I don't understand why we can't just build up the trust again like last time. Last time we started off not sharing our deepest secrets and then it just developed into us telling them. Do you think she feels that I won't be satisfied with the relationship if she can't tell me things and thus ended it? She kind of referenced that when she said that her not telling me things would be painful for me. I really want to stay with her, so I need some advice on how to do that.

Okay I think you guys misunderstood some of what I said. First of all it was me who made contact this year. I appologized to her, she said it was okay. Then she didn't respond and I sent her another email saying I was glad to hear that. And then she responded by asking me a question about a radio show and then we started sending long emails about everything. It was natural and over the span of a few weeks, unlike how I think you guys interperted it. Now when she broke up with her ex, it took her literally two weeks to do it. It took me a while to break up with my girlfriend too. It wasn't instantly, my exgf and I talked about what we wanted to do. I offhandedly mentioned to her once that I had been on a date earlier that day and she lead into how she was jealous of me being with her and she liked me a lot (we went out to a bookstore right before I started dating the other girl, and we did connect and had fun, but then I still decided that she had a boyfriend so I thought she didn't like me). About the things in the past, she actually was never lying to me. I only thought she was at the end of the relationship in order to take it down more easily that she broke up with me. Like you guys are trying to convine me now, I convinced myself that she was a lying, conniving, messed up girl so that I could move on. Alas this isn't the truth, like I knew deep down the whole time, she never did lie to me. But I doubted her and didn't believe her during the relationship, it was really wrong of me, and that's why she eventually broke up with me. There was another rumor that she did something with this other guy. And the other guy actually talked to me, I asked him flat out if it was true, and he said it wasn't at all. This is the kind of guy who would brag openly if he got any action from a girl too. I have never seen or heard any proof that the other rumor is true, I just believed the rumor when I was with her because I was insecure and paranoid. PocoDiablo, I really appreciate your comments, but I think you are off the mark with your assessment of my exgf. Of course I have no way of proving it, but I don't think she plays games, and I don't think she is manipulative. However I do think she has serious trust issues, and this stems from her past. Her boyfriend (not the "exbf") before was really crazy and basically abused her. She was really afraid to end it with hm and kept trying but kept falling back to him. He was the one who raped her. I think she's gotten serious scars from this, and this affects what she does and causes trust issues. I understand where she is coming from because she trusted me in the past, and I was the only one ever that she told about the rape and her being sexually abused, and then I told her I didn't believe her after we broke up. Her parents are really crazy and she has issues with them. They have no trust at all for her because of the boyfriend from before that raped her. There are many unanswered questions that I do have about her and her past, but I do know a lot, more than any other person. Thus it is all more complex than it seems, I think you guys are misunderstanding the situation. Does anyone else have any thoughts?

But she broke up with her boyfriend for me, too. My relationship that I had was only like 2 weeks into it, her's was a year into it. My old relationship wasn't really going anywhere anyway. Honestly she made a MUCH bigger sacrafice in breaking up with her ex. But what makes me feel the worst is that she took like 2 weeks to break up with him. She said she was so afraid to because she'd hurt him. Then the best she got at first was "a break" Now she sends me one cold email????!?! It doesn't make sense. She's not some conniving person. She's honestly the nicest and most sincere girl I've ever met. I refuse to do what I did last time and believe that she's lying to me and played me all this time.

But the thing is that I completely trust her now. I wanted her to open up to me again because I knew that this I could believe whatever she said and try to help her and be there for her. I thought that it would be a problem, our past, and that's why I told her how bad I felt for it several times. And she just kept reassuring me and said that she didn't care anymore about what happened. I know it will be hard but I want to stay with her and work through it. I think we can. I could tell her that she doesn't have to tell me anything right now, but that we will build up the trust back and eventually she'll be able to? I'm really confused right now, she means a lot to me and I want it to work so bad. I can't even talk to her until thursday night, which is ridiculous, but it's going to make me go crazy until then. I need to know if you guys think it's possible to get her back, and how I should approach it thursday night. Is there any chance that she could have just been upset at that moment and not really meant what she said about wanting to break up?

I'm going to have to say a lot in order to completely explain my situation. I'm 17 and my exgf is 18, and we went out 2 years ago for a few months. Back then it was so great and we told each other everything, THe problem was that there were certain rumors about her that were so supported and that everyone said was true and tried to "help" me by constnatly trying to get me believe it too. It was that she had sex with this guy in the past. I never believed her when she told me it wasn't true and it eventually led to her breaking up with me. When she did this I got very upset and thought she lied to me about everything she told me (she said her exbf raped her and she was sexually abused). Well I didn't fully believe that she lied about that stuff, but I convinced myself she did so I would get less hurt. So I sent her a letter basically saying I didn't know who she was and she lied to me about everything (after we broke up). Then we didnt talk for a f ull year. Then this year I sent her a small email appologizing and she seemed to really forgive me and we just started talking. I got another gf and when I told her she told me how jealous she was and how she wanted to be with me (she was in a relationship too). So about a month ago we broke up with our partners for each other. It's been really great and she's told me that she likes me so much and is so great shes with me. I really believe her, she's one of those people that doesn't lie. But last time we went out, I felt really bad for what I said to her in the past 2 years ago. So I appologized and said I felt guilty and she kept saying that it didn't matter what happened in the past, that she understood my actions back then and doesn't hold it against me. Then the last 2 weeks we haven't talked so much and I told her that I felt isolated from her friday night, and that I felt like she doesn't tell me things. And she sent me this email yesterday. "Now it's 9:50 so I'm sure you've just left for work, and I have orchestra again today. My parents are picking me up straight from there to go to Chicago until Thursday night. I realized why I don't tell you things, it's because last time (2 yrs ago or whenever that was) I told you everything and you didn't trust/believe me and pretty much ridiculed me/my situation. I think the best thing for us to do is break up because I guess I don't feel like I can talk to you, which is hurtful for you as well. I won't have a computer or anything in Chicago bc my grandma doesn't have one, so I'll talk to you when I get back if you want to. " She said something bad is going on at home right now but I just don't get this. Friday night she just kept telling me she does trust me and not to worry and made me promise that I wouldn't worry. I want her back What do you guys think? Do you think she just got really upset from something at home and rashly said that to me? I'm so confused. She came on to me! SHe kept telling me how she forgave me and she was actually worried that I would be bitter abotu the past (ironically,.. and I'm not..) We really have this great connection and it just doesn't make sense. She broke up with her bf of a year, this amazing guy, for me, and then dumped me 2 months later...

Well, I don't think you "love" your girlfriend if you can like another girl the same way and even consider breaking up with your girlfriend for the new one. I'd say you should seriously evaluate your relationship with your current girlfriend and if you don't like it then end it. Then whatever happens with the girl happens. Try to not let the new girl influence your decision on your present relationship.

I was always against it and thought people who did were just naive. I am 17 by the way and the girl is 18, we are both seniors. So I'm going to tell the story and then tell me what you think. So we've been "best friends" for about two years and we have a "history" as in we've both liked each other off and on in the past but nothings happened, yet at least, every time its about to it just seems to fade away. We have fights sometimes, like a married couple I guess. So we were having a fight for about 2 weeks and I didn't talk to her, but hten sunday night I did (online). So then we talked and it was normal. But then last night we were talking about college and she said something like we're talking about our future, its kinda scary, what if we already know who we're going to marry? And then eventually said it was one guy specifically and then me, and then we started talking about it, but at this point I was taking it as a joke, you know. Just a hypothetical "what if?" The more we talked about what it would be like, the more we realized our dreams are the exact same. Down to really small and seemingly insignificant parts. After about an hour we were both like wow I wish we could have that. Then eventually that became yes, let's have that. Now we've basically planned it out. That we will stay in contact through college (different schools about 2 hours away) and see each other as much as possible. Also we will be allowed to date as much as we want, just not have sex. Then go to the same grad school after undergrad. She seems to be the sure one in this and I am doubting it will work out. But, she keeps saying that it is without a doubt what she wants and she can only imagine me. And I asked her why me and she says that we have a history and we know each other so well and we have the same dreams and it just makes sense. My opinion is that I want it really bad too, and I've actually thought about what it would be like if I married her before the conversation with her. Yet I have a lot of doubt. The main point of waiting through college is we think we will both change and then we'll be able to be together completely. And I think that part is true, we will both change for the better. It's just... will it work out.. even if both of us want it very badly...

But maybe what I did was wrong. I did ignore her for an entire hour and walk away. She says shes never talking to me again adn this was my last chance and I'm a douchebag and "nothing like tonight has ever happened to me" and etc.

She's going off on me on AIM. She keeps blocking every SN but I keep going onto new ones and then IM her and she says like 5 lines then blocks me again. I don't understand why she is so upset.. I don't think what I did was that horrible.

She isn't right? She kept saying that it was the polite thing to do and I shouldn't have minded. AndI was like wellI said I was upet with him and I didn't want to see him right then. ANd she was like you act like such a 5 year old. ANd yeah if I were in her shoes and she in mine I wouldn't have gone up to the person and respected her wishes. I told her that and she said that she's not mad at anyone but me. Then I said well if you were with (a girl I dont like and doesnt like me whos her friend) and I was alone and she said she didn twant to see me, you wouldnt come up to me. And shej just denied it and said she would...

Update: So we went out tonight to a city a few miles away for a christmas ceremony. And I bought her flowers to say I was sorry and gave her them. Then when we get there thinsg are going fine and she sees this guy I'll call Mike. And Mike has been really mean to me, and I don't really like him. Especially since he's involved in what's going on between me and her and keeps bugging me for information because he's "curious" but he always does it with a negative connotation towards me. So I said I'd rather not go see him, Anne, I'm kinda upset with him right now. But she still goes up to him and starts talking. And then she doesn't even talk to me and starts talking to him so I completely stop talking and eventually walk away by myself. When she finds me again she's like well I'm leaving right now, with you or not, so I follow her. Then in the car we get into a big fight. I say that this shows how she puts others over me once again and she was saying how she was just being polite and it was my fault for not talking. I'm so upset right now. She said I was acting like a 5 year old for ignoring her but I kept saying that she only talked to him who I was upset with at the time and didn't want to see. She was like well he was alone, stop being so selfish, and I didn't talk to you because he was talking to me and you weren't. SHe was even walking with him and going where he wanted, I had to follow behind...

I've had a "best friend" for about two years now. She used to like me about a year and a half ago. I've always liked her and she's led me on a lot and made me think we'd be together. (She knows that I've always liked her and still do). Lately I've been getting really upset. She acts like a completely different person to me and to other people. To me she acts deep, to other people she is completely superficial. To me she says one thing, and then she does another in public (drinking, stuff with guys, etc). And she barely hangs out with me. We've hung out 2 times in the last two years. I tell her how much I want to lately, I even say do you want to see a movie saturday around 2:00 and she says yes and then doesn't tlak about it until I bring it up and then she says oh I forgot, and then we end up not. She puts others over me all the time. She hangs out with her fake superficial friends all the time and it hurts me so much. She promised we'd do something over our break from school, and now she's basically saying we won't be able to, but she's done stuff with all her other friends, who aren't as close to her at all. So two days ago I talked to one of her superficial friends and they told me all this bad stuff she did, like getting drunk and acting like a completely different person than I knew her as. So I went off on the girl and said I didn't know who she was and that I hated her. She was really upset and we've been trying to talk about everything and I've appologized for all the things I've said, but she still doesn't get my side at all. She doesn't think she acts different when she obviously does (even her other best friend says that she does). Also she said that in a month or so we're going to talk about possibly being bf and gf (because she's really busy right now and feels like she won't have time, so she's going to see how she feels then when she's less busy). What's wrong with me though? I can't stand when she's out doing stuff with others. I can't stand how when we're in school she talks to all her superficial friends and acts like I'm not there...

I feel like there's something wrong with me. I always end up being a psycho to any of my friends I let get semi-close. I get extremely jealous, bitter, and completely overly emotional to anything. I pick fights and am constantly paranoid. I used to be so much happier when I didn't have many good friends (just friends I'd laugh with in school). I feel right now like if I just never talked to anyone for the next few months and completely isolated myself I'd be really happy. But then I don't even have the power to do that. I feel like something is seriously wrong with me. I'm a senior in high school and am going to college soon, so I think what does it matter, I'm never seeing these people again, who cares. I can completely block myself off and be fine alone. What is wrong with me??

Okay there are two girls at my job that I'm not sure if they like me or not. I kinda have crushes on them... one mostly for her appearance and the other for personality. Girl A: I've seen her once a week for about a month and a half. She's about 1.5 years younger than me (I am almost 17). She will always say "hi" to me if she passes me in the hall, or when she enters a room and I'm there (usually like 6-8 times per day?) A couple days ago, I walked into the room with all the volunteers (all our age) and they were all sitting there doing nothing, but she was doing some folding project and she told me to help her with it even though there were all those other people doing nothing for minutes. Also, about 2 weeks ago another volunteer asked me if I took a certain hard class and I said yeah and girl A was like "see, I told you he was smart!... (turns to me) my mom told me you were really smart." Now my mom, who works with her mom, but not often, probably mentioned it (she seems to always do that at work ugh) to her mom. But why would her mom randomly tell her that? I've never seen her mom and vice versa. So she had to have mentioned me to her mom first. Also we will both make eye contact a lot and smile and laugh a lot. Like once I walked past her at an intersection in the hallway and I turned around and she was looking right at me and smiling/laughing (no one else was in the hall). I have a crush on her and I think that's kind of obvious, even though I tried to make it not. Another volunteer said "you like girl A" under her breath and then when I asked her what she said said nothing and changed the subject. So what do you guys think? Girl B: I've only known her for about 2 weeks, but I see her like 3 days a week. The first day I was eating lunch alone and she sat next to me although tons of other tables were empty and we talked for an hour or so. Then we've always talked a lot since then. A few days ago she made a lot of physical contact... like i was standing in front of something and she got like right next to me and was pushing me out of the way (but in a joking way). Our hands also brushed a few times and she didnt seem to care. Then she looked at my ipod and kept laughing at my music (a few songs are I guess girly stuff... like sarah mcglauhlan (sp) and goo goo dolls) and saying I was so funny and that it was okay. And while she was doing this... she had her elbow on my leg... like I was sitting kind of behind her cuz we were working on stuff and she just randomly put her elbow there.. when her chair had arm rests. A few days ago she also asked me if I wanted to go and eat lunch with her, I said I already ate, but I'd go if she wanted me to, and she said she didn't care either way, so I decided not to because I was really busy (stupid move, I know). So what do you guys think? I'm really confused. I don't even know how I feel about these girls in addition to how they feel about me. Also, girl A goes to my school, girl B doesn't.

So should I tell her that I miss it and how I feel some kind of connection? I don't know what exactly I should say to her. I don't want to tell her I "like" her because that would definitely be too soon since we just started talking again.

An old "friend" of mine and I recently started talking again. Last night we stayed up pretty late just talking. First, I need to explain our history though. About a year and a half ago, we first met on a school trip (I mean we had met before in class obviously too). We just seemed to connect really well. After we got back, we started talking. After a very short time I began to like her very much and vice versa. But, like a moron, I was inexperienced and couldn't take hints (for dates, for making a move, for calling). After a while, it just seemed to die. She told me that she couldn't have a relationship because of her history. She had jsut movied from a nearby city that year because she was having serious problems there (doing bad stuff, but she is completely differetn and amazing now) and had promised herself that she wouldn't get into a relationship. Also, her very strict parents now no longer trusted her after everythng that had happened previously. We stayed friends but a few months later she did end up having a relationship. A guy she is still kind of with. We got into huge fights and grew apart. We'd make up and then get into another fight. It was a big cycle. Then this year we had a class together and started talking. It was sort of off and on, but we'd make eye contact a lot and it was like we could see into each other's souls. We have always had this connection. I have always felt something for her, albeit hidden to myself sometimes. I know that I have changed. As of last night, I realized that there still are sparks. There is still something there. I really want to see what it is, I really just want another chance that I never took before because of my stupidity. I said last night that I hated that our relationship changed so much (after we nostalgically talked about our past together). I said that I kept thinking well, maybe the change will be for the good, something better will happen, but that I was always proven wrong (I'm not sure if she knew this was about her, do you think she did?). Then she said that her off and on boyfriend is going to college soon. That they would be broken up. They are going to like marry, I could seroiusly see it happening. At first I thought this was a hint that maybe she'd see if there was anything between us, but then I realized she was just drawing a parralel to change, right? I have no idea what to do or what to think, please help!!

We've been pretty good friends for a while, and ever since october or so we've started to get really really close. Like close to best friends. I thought I may have envisioned it going further so I asked her what she thought and she said she felt that way too and thought that in a while she'd want to be with me. So I waited and was patient. About two weeks later we started talking about it again and what she said was really weird. She said that she realized that she was wrong and that she could never go out with me because her good friend was my ex gf. Also, she said she just doesnt like me in that way. But see in those 2 weeks, things just got even better. It was better than it ever was before and I'm sure she felt that way too. So i got kind of upset for a little bit, but I didn't go off on her or anything. Then about two weeks ago her and this kid started going out. Now he's kind of my friend I guess, but he rarely talks. I would say he's good looking, and he's sort of like this cult hero lol, like everyone says he's so cool as a half joke (he actually is cool though). I was really upset when she told me. She told me before that she wasn't sure if he liked her for the right reasons so she wasn't sure if she wanted to go out with him. She told me that if I didn't want her to then she wouldn't for me, but even though I didn't, I said that I was ok with it because it would make her happy. Since then things have been horrible. I've basically ignored her and haven't made any attempt to talk to her. But, for some reason today I gave her an amazing bday present that she really loved. I almost didn;t want to give it to her for some reason. So 2 weeks ago she said she'd ask me if I wanted her to break up with him and if I did then she would. She's going to ask me soon and I don't know what to say. I don't even understand what is really wrong with our friendship. If I say no, I don't want you to break up, then I'm afraid our friendship will keep being horrible and I won't be able to talk to her. But, if I say yes I do, then I'm afraid she would hold it against me and I would take away someone that really makes her happy from her. She's said I mean so much to her, more than her bf, and she would do anything for me if it meant keeping our friendship... It is a predicament nonetheless..

but I don't understand, what was the go signal? Couldn't she just like me as a friend and want to get closer to me that way like she did before?

but then why would she say she liked no guys right now?

Ok I need to set the scene first. So I've known girl that's my age for a little over a year. We've had 2 major fights, but gotten over them. We were pretty close and we are becoming close again. But now, it's different, and I mean that in a good way. For example, when she sees me she comes up to me instantly and starts talking to me, before she never did that. She also moved from sitting with her friends to sitting with me at this speech we went to after school one time. And also, one time after a class we were talking and she asked the teacher about some lab so I left to go to the next class (which we also have together) because I figured she was going to make up some work. Then she caught up with me in the hall and was like "thanks for waiting for me!" in a happy, joking way. Implying that she wanted to walk with me. Today I brought up Valentine's day and she asked if I was doing anything, and I said no and laughed after and then asked her if she was and she also said no, but then laughed after too. Then she was like "oh so no crushes this year" and i said no and she laughed and then I asked her the same thing and she also said no. But, then she said that it felt good not liking any guy at the moment. She's an amazing girl; she's very smart, beautiful, funny, and deep. Our relationship seems so much better and different than before, when we were good friends (before our fight). Now we've just suddenly gotten closer and closer and she offers to drive me home (I don't have my license yet lol but she does) and today waited for me at a club for like 20 mins. By the way, I usually walk to school and home, it's only like a 10 minute walk so it's not like i need the ride. And in the last week she's asked me to go to panera's with her to study for a test two times (but then she decided not to both times after i said yes b/c she thought she could learn it better on her own). She also brought up the oc and I was like yea I'll try to find the dvds and copy them and she was like cool, when you do do you want to watch them together? We can have a maratho. So yea, I'm confused and I can't figure out if she likes me or not. I liked her before and that's what primarily led to our big fight, so I'm really sensitive about trying to flirt to find out. Any advice?

Hello. I am 16 and I have been playing poker for a few months. It started off as .5/1 dollar blinds (for those of you who know poker... for those of you that don't, that means each person buys in about 30-50 dollars)... but then the people i played with raised it to 1/2. I mean, I started off bad, then I caught a hot steak. But now... I'm going down... really fast. I've been making smart plays, but I still get screwed over (like 95% shots at winning 100$ pots and i lose... it's happened 3 times out of 3 in the last two days). Over the last two days I am down 250 dollars. One of my closest friends told me that I needed to quit, that I was addicted and he could see it in my eyes (he doesn't play, but comes sometimes). I told him that I wasn't addicted, but that I could stop if I wanted to. I told him it wasn't about the money, but about getting out and being able to hang out more with these people that I really like being with. He kept insisting that that wasn't why and I kept insisting that it was. But, today I realized that I was wrong. I am addicted. I may be also doing it to get out more and as an escape too, but I really am addicted. One of my good friends, perhaps my best, is down 1000$ and keeps losing. He has no money and is in debt and the people are getting fed up with it. I want both of us to quit, but it's so hard. First of all, have any of you been what I am going through and can give me advice on how I can quit my addiction? And second of all, can any of you give me advice on how to help my friend quit his addiction. Basically, poker has taken over my mind. I am not in control of my own actions any longer. I get so angry too. When I go to school, all I can think about is poker. And it's starting to make me feel worried about my grades because I play so much I think it's affecting my schoolwork. Not to mention I know it is immoral, and I am religious (Catholic). I've always heard it was evil, but now I am realizing it for myself. I don't know if I can quit because most of my friends play, and they always talk about it and invite me and pressure me to go. Please help! By the way, my city is pretty rich. We have many rich kids playing poker and wasting their money. Literally 1/4 guys play. Last year, someone who used to be a good friend of mine got addicted (he still is) and played online. He went 10k in debt, and took out loans from my friends. He never paid them back and it caused a huge fight. It was to the point when they were about to hire people to beat him up. He also cheated in real life with my friends and made thousands of dollars worth of counterfeit bills and used it. Now everyone hates him, and I am afraid this will happen to me or my friend too.

Do not get an abortion. Even if this child was an inconvenience to your life, it is still another life of another human! If you get an abortion you will regret it for years to come everytime you think of that sweet life that you destroyed. You made a mistake, we all do, but you need to take some responsibility for your own actions and have the child. If you can't handle him/her then put them up for adoption.

I watched a documentary on that and it said that you actually get less nutrients by eating the food raw. If you boil/cook them you get a lot more nutrients. I don't know, I didn't really understand it, but that's what they said.

It's well known that better communication brings the world closer. Now one can talk to anyone else in the world, as if they were right accross the street. I have talked to many different people from around the world and it has helped me to better understand their culture. Not to mention that it is hard to stereotype someone online, and that makes you realize that most stereotypes aren't true. So yea... for all the dangers the internet has, this is definitely one of the advantages...