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About Ralikain

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  1. @abitbroken I've never believed or expressed she's damaged. In a lot of respects she is quite resilient, and a tough person. I think it is quite disrespectful to her - for you to assume based on the above that I'm saying she's damaged. She isn't. We have different views on different matters, and that she loves her family and believes them as being the best. That is admirable - but also not how I operate. And moving in is not related to 'trying her out'. I love her and care about her. But I do want to see what its like to live together, particularly since she seems in some respects 'all
  2. So, I've spoken to her about the above in general. Essentially the culture we come from is quite backwards and would see her living with me adversely and she is concerned about that. She has however said she is willing to spend a month or more with us living together somewhere to see what its like to live together. Regarding sex before marriage - I'd be her first and she wants to be sure about us, before we have sex. She's mentioned a few times in the heat of the moment how she could go all the way, but has said - she would only consider it after at least engagement. That way, we are su
  3. So I've been in a relationship with a girl for nearly 5 months. I'm a 29 years old and this is my first serious relationship. To give some context until age 23 I used to be a hopeless romantic. Since then however I'v focussed on getting control of my life and I'm in a far better place, mentally, physically, financially and personally. I'm very clear on my goals, what I want out of life, and I'd like to believe mature enough to recognise the insecurities from the past when I have them. So, I started to see this girl from a conservative family and she still lives at home being from such
  4. Thanks for this. 3 years hence, I've obviously moved way on - but the comment above quite starkly made the point to take control of the situation. So thank you.
  5. Just wanted to update - 3years hence. Thanks for the words - it actually was harsh, but real and I know you were right all along. And the harsh truth helped expose the truth of the situation. So thank you.
  6. mhowe - how do you see the co-dependence here? I'm not necessarily sure I do - but I'm not denying that my vision may be clouded by how I feel. moleinahole - Have your friends talked through their feelings with each other? Cause I did a few times, but she's indicated she doesn't want to discuss the subject anymore. How I feel about not being able to discuss it, is that if I can't make sense of it and we both can't get to a place which is mutually acceptable - then I feel, that this is only going to build and ending things unfortunately will be the only option. However I'm also aware
  7. A lot of what has been discussed are things I do not generally disagree with. I do have concerns that what Adrina has said before will be true - that I'll be shoved to the back burner when she's in a new relationship that's more serious. To a degree this happened when she was with the first guy I referenced above - a lot of times, when I needed her as a friend the other guy came first. However I'm also aware that he was often manipulative enough that he would make arrangements, when he knew she was planning to see me, and made the cost of changing it quite high - such as booking train ticke
  8. Hello, I'm (27) in a situation where I'm uncertain about how to go forward, because my head and heart say very different things. The gist of the situation is - I've been friends with this girl (27) for the past five years, since university. Initially I was slightly attracted to her, but I didn't think she was the one so I didn't pursue it much. She was in a relationship with a guy then who in my opinion was extremely possessive and manipulative. I did point it out to her, and she admitted she felt the same sometimes, however he also shared some pretty great memories with her, and for all
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