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Flabbergasted

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  1. I was hoping to "see" you again boltnrun, you have been right all the time. I don't know how I thought I could handle it, giving support without getting invested too much. I'm not in bad shape, specially compared to last year, but still..... not a good idea to try to be there for somebody who is only interested in 1 thing, a guy, whatever guy, that rescues her, and doesn't listen at all to "start looking for work" or "quit drinking" etc. but takes that as a personal attack and looks for another victim.
  2. Hello everybody! I am sure I will get critized, but in the end I restarted the relationship with her last year. She broke her foot in some drunken state while with the other guy, they broke up and she came back running straight for me. Ofcourse it didn't work, but she couldn't walk, no car, her bicycle and her son's bicycle got stolen, so I felt sorry for her. She was daily messaging me, wanting to marry me, have a kid with me, etc. etc. etc. I was holding off the boat, and now she did it again! All of a sudden disappeared! This time it was more me than she that did the breaking up. She did not block me this time, but as I am the champion of doing everything wrong, I check her FB and see that she is actively trying to find a new guy. Now.... go ahead, give it to me! Thanks!
  3. Hello good people, just checking back. I am holding up quite well. The situation escalated one last time about 6 weeks ago, she is with tattoo boy and now badmouthing me. She was in very bad shape, still drinking and blowing and whining. I have been away and out of touch with everybody, do not speak about her anymore, etc. managed to do that for 6 weeks already. The sky finally clears, after a bloody year! Thanks all that have had the patience to bear with me.
  4. Frankly B, this is not about sex. It has been a major life crisis for me, maybe doubting too much whether or not to start serious with her, then she taking off with tattoo boy etc. Sex is not a problem for me, I don't want to brag, but still think I'm quite a catch...just really really flabbergasted!
  5. Hi B, no, not spoken to her, in fact just realized that I have been sleeping all night for the last couple of days without waking up for the first time since this started, finally feeling better, something inside me has changed really, the ridiculous anxiety I have felt for so long has gone. That feels good!
  6. My parents and one of my sons live there... she thinks I would be the best option for her and her son, but she is not over tattoo boy, and he can't get over the fact she has been with me again. But finally my feelings are eroding, I can see now what her problem is, I can't solve it for her, she has to do it herself.
  7. Now I hear that tattoo boy does not want her anymore either, she blames me for that, now she has nothing left....maybe a good time for her to get off the wine and weed and start thinking...
  8. So far there has been ex-husband, then me, then tattoo boy, me, tattoo boy, me and now tattoo boy again it seems...
  9. Justjen, yes, the tattoos are there! I sent her the message out of anger, then blocked her, and intend to keep it that way. She is just too much, now back again with tattoo boy, I don't know what will happen next, but I feel different finally, I think I can keep her out now. Feelings have changed. I can't change my whole life to take her and her son on, while she is dreaming of the good drunken times with tattoo boy. But will keep you posted if anything happens!
  10. No1, Boltnrun, thanks for keeeping supporting me, I really appreciate it. I promise I'm listening to you guys. Really last night I was so pissed off that I sent a message so nasty that there is no way she'll try to come back. I will do my best to keep out, I am working my ass off to keep distracted, and won't be back in hometown tilll august.
  11. You are all right. She was with me for a couple of days, then I left, refusing to take her with me, what she asked for. Now she is back with tattoo playboy it seems. I sent her a nasty message last night, to tell her to please disappear from my life, and blocked her. I hope I can stick to it and that this is indeed the end finally. Thanks for your support.
  12. OK, latest update, I went to hometown, and we spend a couple of days together in my house, together with another family with kids. It was mostly relaxed, but then she got a message during the night of a weed dealer! I blew up, and stopped everything again. Now back in my new town again, feeling different about everything, she is donwright crazy and has a lot of work to do on herself before even considering a relationship of any kind.
  13. Thanks Faraday. ..but I don't think that is the case. I never courted her with money or gifts. She might be looking for security yes, but she now has a good divorce settlement....in fact thanks to me as I convinced my lawyer to help her. It is puzzling that she dove straight into that rebound with Mr playboy....but that did not last. I kind of believe her that she was not herself, she still isn't. I also believe she was really in love with me....and I know that I did not give her the commitment she needed at the time, I broke up with her, my doing, because I wanted her to be proactive in her divorce, work, drinking less etc. We'll see what happens, the good thing is that I'm quite far away.
  14. I talked to her over the phone. Basically what she said, is that she has made the biggest mistake of her life. That she was madly in love but me, but when I was pushing her away, she hurted a lot, and this guy appeared, promising her marriage, giving her gifts, taking her on trips, paying for her, and that she fell for it. The guy turned out to be an , she has been depressed the whole time with him (that has been obvious to the whole town) and good riddance. I agree that I pushed her away, is that a reason to go for another guy? I let it rest for now, but suppose she will contact me soon again.
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