mana

Im sure everyone in this forum will agree that a break up can be worse than a death. Its gotta be one of the worst emotional pains a person can go through.Sadly there is no easy cure to fix the pain. Just time. I sincerely feel for you. HOWEVER....I did wonder when i read your first post whether or not you were joking. This guy was fat ,toothless ,depressed and he owed you money!!!!. Why the hell would you want THAT back. ( hey and nothing against fat people..im overweight myself)...but geeze. Girl you have to apply some personal standards. This guy was a real loser on all levels and if you want more of that then its not him you need to focus on but yourself! You appear to be a nice person who only wants to be loved and respected. Tell yourself that you DESERVE LOVE AND RESPECT, and settle for nothing less!!! Waste no more time on your ex. Let all your energy from now on be focused on you. You can do it!!!

Your posting made me laugh!!!! But seriouslyI don't think it weird at all. Of course you are gonna be thinking about him. I had the same thing happen to me only yesterday. Melbourne Cup day yesterday when Aussie and a good part of NZ come to a standstill during the big race. I'm not one to bet on the horses and normally Melbourne Cup day passes with me hardly noticing but THIS year I watched every news item on the day because I knew my ex was gonna be there. SAD MOVIES!!! Anyway...way to make YOUR posting all about ME!!!! Be your own news headline i reckon!...and thanks for the chuckle.

I really feel for you but don't beat yourself up. You sound an on to it person who is going through a painful time. We all do dopey things when feeling low and vulnerable and sometimes we get caught. Who cares if she saw you. You know youre not a crazy stalker just someone going through a crazy time. Be kind to yourself and good luck.

In regards to the "commitment "thing. I relize its probably not a conversation that many would want to have and its probably not gonna get the result desired. However for myself, I think what does my head in the most is the lack of control I have over the situation. The commitment convo will give me back some control. I have put a time limit on how long I will allow him to "sort himself out"and now I must draw a line in the sand. Like I said it will break my heart, I know he will head for the hills, but I'm sure he will respect me just the same. If or when he comes back, he will be back knowing what my expectations are. There will be no tip toeing around hoping not to upset him. And in the meantime I have worked on myself without being distracted by trying to guess how he feels. If we don't have the commitment convo now , then when do we have it? When they return? I suspect if it is not said during the break many of us will never discuss it for fear of sending our newly returned partners off "to find their space"again. And then in my opinion we are then having only having half a relationship. We are all going thru the same pain, I just feel we need to take back control and be the strong people we can and need to be. This is me just thinking out loud and puttung it out here for you all to ponder. I have know idea whether I'm on the right track but after much thought I suspect this is whats best for me.It depends on what result you want as to whether this will be right for you. keep strong everyone.

Hmmmmm, I think maybe we have a commitment issue here with your b/f Roxy. As soon as it gets too close they bail.I went thru a similar experience as yourself and others who have posted here. I did the no contact thing and I got the call 3 weeks later and was thrilled. We chatted with ease and it felt great. However it got my hopes up. I received a couple more calls and texts from him and thought maybe he was hoping to get back together. It seems I was wrong. I know he still cares but the next time he calls I will be laying down the law. I can not be "just friends"with him right now, it hurts too much. Either he wants a committed adult relationship with me or he stops calling so that I can move on. I am scared to draw that line in the sand, but the whole "waiting for him to call"thing is doing my head in and hindering my attempts to heal. I love him still and it was my declaration of love that scared him. I did feel silly and was beating myself up for telling him I loved him but now I think, why not, he was sending me all these mesaages that he felt the same, and then whammo! he needs his space. Its a commitiment problem and its his, lets not make it ours. I wish you well roxy, I suspect there is a chance you will get back together but be strong don't be afraid to tell him how you feel and if it freaks him out then is he really the man for you?

Thank you all for your feedback. I suspect I may have misrepresented my ex a tad however. He has not rung me since we broke up although he did txt me his new number nor would I say he has intentionally played mind games with me. The drunk call happened 5 days before he broke it off and his no contact since suggests to me he really does mean for us to finish. I can only guess as to what the reason might be but for now ( I Hope it all comes out in the wash at some later date) He truly is a good man, however screwed up he is at the mo. Thankyou all again for your feedback. I have decided to believe the drunken call . Its a happy memory ( albeit a bit slurred)It gives me a nice feeling and a little chuckle and your replies have given me a lot of support. Thank you all very much.

Thanks for taking the time to read this I would appreciate your thoughts Im not sure what difference it will make but I am just trying to make sense of a my recent break up with my B/f. 5 days before he called it quits he rang me up after having a few drinks with his work mates. He doesn't drink a lot but he was in good spirits and was obviously enjoying himself at the party. He shocked me by telling me he loved me and wanted to move back to my home town with me next year. He went on to say ( as if to convince me of his feelings) that he "makes love"to me..not just sex. I was overjoyed but dared not tell him the next day for fear of embarressing him. 3 days letter I sent a txt to him and signed off with those 3 words "I love you". 2 days later he called it quits saying that he didn't feel the same for me.( It wasn't as harsh as that, Im just trying to make a long story short) Naturally Im at a loss. I haven't pushed him for an explanation for his drunken call. I haven't called him since he broke it off in fact. But I I would like your opinions. what should I make of that call. Was it just the booze talking?