Prue

I just got a phonecall from him... he's on his way over. He was really nice on the phone... and asked me what I'm up to. I said not a lot, just pottering around at home. And he said... so your not down at my place knocking on my door? Oh dear... but at least he still has a sense of humour. I showed a close friend (but who doesn't know the other people involved) my original post. She said go out on a limb and let him read it... and that it explains it all pretty well. I've printed it but wasn't sure if I should go through with it. I might though.

Yeah I guess I could. Although I'm thinking of explaining the real reasons to him... but not in order to make an excuse... more for him to know that it isn't the norm for me and that he doesn't have to be worried about it happening again. He's a pretty laid back guy... and I guess that if he seriously wanted to avoid me, he could have sent someone else around to pick up those items rather than say he'd come around. On the other hand... it's easier to be laid back so long as someone hasn't acted that over the top. And he is a little guarded about his privacy, and I'm sure there would have been a bit of talk since that he wouldn't appreciate (there were a few witnesses to a bit of it, and a mutual friend got a few of the SMS messages herself by mistake). I think I might end up making us coffee if he has time, and telling him the full story... and apologising above all else of course.

I am living in a small community where there have been quite a few people giving me a hard time (just bullying really)... so I have been a bit worn down in general by it. And more emothional than I might otherwise be. I also have a condition PCOS, that is occasionally a topic on conversation in the health forums. To cut that long story short... it doesn't happen a lot, but I can get seriously hormonally out of whack with PMS. And if I don't realise that's what I have (I have no regularity to go by), and then drink even just socially... I can go pretty psycho for a few hours. Most people would presume it's just drunkeness as the time, but really there's more to it. A male friend of mine is leaving town today. He had been intending to possibly move in with me as a housemate... but found out very suddenly he had to leave. I still haven't really had time to absorb it. When he told me he was leaving I held it together fine in the phone, but cried uncontrollably for a few hours privately afterwards (how much of that was PMS I really don't know now). Thing is, I had developed feelings towards this guy. Wasn't sure if maybe there was a hint of that from him too... but quite likely not. He's anything but shy, and has never indicated any such thing. I do have a feeling though that he maybe he's known that I felt like that, but it didn't bother him to much and he was happy to just let it slide. A couple of nights ago we were all drinking at a venue, and he left resonably late to go to sleep... and asked me if he could spend the evening at my place last night (probably with other friends too). I was glad that he was going to spend some time with me before he left... because above all else that friendship is so important to me, and I'm going to miss him... and we didn't get to spend much time together that night. An hour or so later, I must have had the drink that tiped me over the edge... and I don't know how to decribe how I acted other than pretty 'psycho'. I SMS'd him all night, which he ignored and was quite within his rights to (I think his phone was on silent anyway), knocked on his door a few times, talked... or more like rambled on about it all not thinking about the fact that he would have been within earshot trying to sleep. I won't go in to detail... but it's worse than it even sounds here in print... and when on for ages. It was the next that I found I'd had PMS symptoms. I hadn't recognised it for what it was, as I'd had it for four or five weeks... longer than ever. And the pain had been so bad that I had been to hospital in that time looking for other causes. I hadn't eaten a proper meal in weeks... had on two occasions cried uncontrollably about someone who passed away when I was only three years old. I have been a mess. Once the symptoms stop though, they disappear completely. I'm having surgery in a month and a bit that may help matters, and have decided that even social drinking is out for the time being. I figured my friend wouldn't want to come around afterall after that... and I was right. There were a few things in my house belonging to him, so I put them in an envelope and gave them to reception where he has been living. There was a note in there saying that he's welcome to come around but I understand if he doesn't (I wanted to let him off the hook), and basically thanking him for everything and wishing him luck etc... Turns out I'd forgotten a few items though, and I got an SMS from him saying he's going to drop in before he leaves today to pick up those couple of things. So I guess that will be any time in the next few hours. I have no idea how to explain this, and it may be the last time I see him. I really wanted to stay in touch when he left, and now don't know if I can. What can I say to him?

For all the debating that goes on about pot... (and I can't say I've never used it)... if you are predisposed to any kind of psychiatric condition at all, smoking pot will leave you wide open to becoming unwell. I don't drink all the time, but like anyone can have the odd night where I've over-indulged. I can relate to what you've said about what happens the next day... I can get a bit paranoid with a hangover, and can think things are worse than they really are. So I have to be a bit careful. I think there's a possibilty that you are dissociating a lot. (Just a possibility, you'd need to talk to a professional about this). Please do talk to a good professional about this... a counsellor, psychologist, psychiatrist etc... As someone who suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder myself, I can tell you want to seek help early. Do not leave it. Pot and alcohol affect individuals differently... which doesn't necessarily mean there's a defect with some people and not with others. Don't let your judgement be clouded by what your friends manage to be able to put away and still bounce back from. You can not decide how many standard drinks you are able to consume based on somebody else's tolerance to it. It sounds like this is a fairly new problem for you... so you are going to be doing yourself, and the rest of the life you have to lead, such a service by seeking a bit of assistance early in the piece and not letting this go on for years.

I think we've all had days at work where you feel like everything you touch turns to crap. The point of an internship is that you are basically still in training, and are learning the job, and people learn from mistakes. I was pretty hopeless in my first shift ever in hospitality work (10 years ago now). By the end of the week I was fine... and later I was considered to be excellent at it, really cut out for it, and surpassed the workmates who had "trained" me (it's not all I do now though - and I'm earning a degree). When I have been training other staff I have never let them feel like they are asking stupid questions, or that first week mistakes mean they don't belong there. Because as long ago as it was, I haven't forgotten my first week. Security work is very confrontational, and no matter what you do losses are still going to happen... so it's no wonder the adrenalin was rushing. Anyone who does that kind of work (loss prevention, customs, bouncers) will get worked up over their first few confrontations. Don't beat yourself up because you're not the exception. Part of the way you felt afterwards may have even been in response to that (I've had a few bad come downs from adrenalin rushes). My advice would be to accept that the way you feel is normal under the circumstances (I mean what a day hey?), that this could have happened to anyone, and go in there as confident in yourself as possible, believing that tomorrow is a new day.

Don't worry, your not strange, everything you just said is common and normal.

Don't read too much into the fact that you find the advances uncomfortable. I think a lot of people find advances from someone their simply not attracted to, to be uncomfortable. It can be hard to know what to say when someone makes it obvious that they like you in that way, while you know that you never would reciprocate. Whether the reasons are that you have nothing in common with the person... they ultimately want a different future than you do... they're not your type... they're the wrong gender.... reasons can be a bit beside the point. It can be awkward whatever it is. If this is sudden and really out of proportion... is it possible that you hang out at a bar or club that, although isn't officially a "gay bar", is particularly gay friendly, and thereforeeee you happen to meet more than usual? Or could there be a rumour about you floating around? (And if there is, don't stress, gossip happens - no reason needed). Although - whatever the reason, probably not worth analysing. Could just be co-incidence.

Yeah - you definitely don't have to think that you're doing anything to bring it on. I've had a lot of that happening with me as well... and at times it seemed a little out of proportion (couldn't meet a guy... yet no shortage of women, which would have been perfect if it weren't for the fact that I'm straight). I think in my case they may have just found me aproachable, and in a town that is about a decade behind with LGBT issues, it's well known that I am at least open-minded... and have taken an interest in the lack of services in that area. I do know that a couple of people did misinterpret my enthusiasm in the cause - but it's all sorted now. Gosh I thought some funny stuff when I was younger though... "is it because I wear these hippie clothes so much?", "is it because I work out and have bigger muscles in my arms than most women?", "Is it because when I go out I drink beer staight from the bottle?"... LMAO... I was a crack up when I think back to it now (a few years ago... I've grown up a lot since). You'd probably find that there are as many guys, if not more, interested in you as well... but because that's comfortable for you, you barely notice.

I know that there are doctors who specialise in odor problems... it's possible that this may have a medical cause (could be your sinuses for example). I forget what this type of specialist is called, and they may be hard to find... but you could ask your GP. Apart from that... apparently it is more effective to use a good powered toothbrush than an ordinary one, and to brush your tongue as well as your teeth. Flossing is also very important for controlling bad breath. You can also get little "oral care strips" that come in a pocket pack. I know that Listerine makes them, and you can take them anywhere with you. They melt on your tongue, and afterwards it tastes like you just used mouthwash. That could be handy.

I don't think it's necessarily think it means that. May it just means exactly what he said. I have the book titled "He's Just Not That Into You"... and I'm afraid I do not give it a 5 star rating. I'd say stick around with this guy still if that's what you wnat to do... but leave the 'love' topic off the table for a while in case it makes him uncomfortable. I have seen plenty of relationships that have survived someone being "there" before the other catching up. If there are other signs there that things aren't working out (apart from that comment) things maybe be different.

Some times when you have a cold you don't feel like drinking a lot of fluids - but it's important that you do. Unfortunately, I find any medications... natural or otherwise... that claim to actually shorten the duration of a cold... are a waste of money anyway. I find elevating my levels of vitamin C through eating fruit, and drinking orange juice is good though. And making sure that you at least consume 'something' even though you might not feel like eating, will keep your strength up. If there is only one food on the planet that you feel you could have an appetite for right now... get someone to go out and get it for you - lol It's best to just do what you can to alleviate the symptoms... but accept tat they are stil going to be there.... and don't push yourself. Sounds like you have a bad one... so you might want to just rest, and get out the DVD's, crosswords, video games.... Anything that takes your mind of it without you actually having to get up. The first time you go to sleep and find that it's better instead of the same or worse... it will rapidly get better from there. And that won't be too far off. Get well soon

Here we go. The links on this page will help. In the part about becoming pregnant on Metformin, they provide a number you can contact them on. link removed

I have PCOS, and in a previous relationship have been in fertility treatment, with no luck (turned out to be for the best in hindsight that time). Ask you doctor about Metformin. I'm on it for PCOS and have had a bit of a better cycle since then. Still erratic, but not as bad as before. Also ask about the possibility of taking Metformin during pregnancy as well. This is a bit of a controversial topic though. You'd probably find that on the leaflet that comes with Metformin it tells you that it can't be taken during pregnancy. But I know that a study has shown that taking it in the first trimester may reduce the chance of miscarriage. If your doctor has not heard of the use of Metformin during pregnancy for this reason... print out some info from the following sites: link removed link removed link removed I also know that the hospital that has conducted the leading studies is a Jewish hospital... perhaps in Cincinnati. I"m looking for a link to the results of the study and will get back to you if I find it.

Don't worry about feeling silly... I have had to disclose pot smoking to doctors before. It's not something I do as a habit... but did try it to help with insomnia a little while ago (incidentally - it didn't work). Once you've told the doctor you'll look back and realise how easy that really was. Believe me... doctors have all heard far worse.

I don't see a real problem with a relationship or dating if she as an especially mature 12 year old. But that would only be if you're willing to have a relationship that is non-sexual for a few years, and know that you can keep it that way. I once wouldn't have had this opinion, but have in recent years seen a couple of relationships like that (where the younger of the couples were exceptional and rare in their emotional maturity), that really were fine.