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Everything posted by melancholy123

  1. Tell me, if I truely try my hardest at this, even while we grow tremendously mentally and have drastic mindset changes, will I still be able to hold on? Hold on to her? If that's what you are asking, the answer is most likely no. That's not a bad thing at all, tho it may seem like it is. You and she and everyone else you know in your age group with go thru the same things as you get older, mature, learn about yourself and life in general, get your education, travel, experience things, get a job etc ad nauseum. It's just how life works. Everything as a teen is so intense and often overly dramatic because you are so young and learning and expanding your mind every day. All good things, really. If you are lucky, this girl will remain a friend for a long time, even if she's not your lover or steady girlfriend. Being a friend is a good thing. If you can save all of these convos for the next 5+ years somewhere safe and go look at them when you are in your 20s you will see what we are telling you. You'll find you are a different guy at 20+ yrs old than you are today. All good stuff, once again.
  2. My mother raised me to believe I was worthless and nobody would ever want me. That does terrible things to a kid. I had to grow up and mature. Have you heard the line - with age comes wisdom? That is so true. As you mature and get older and learn about yourself and figure out what you want in life you become more confident and able to move forward in a positive way. It took me to well into my 30s before I ever believed anyone could want me for me and appreciate me. I got there in the end and you will too. If it takes some counselling to help you along the way, do it. You need to learn to value yourself.
  3. You sound really down and depressed, have you considered therapy or counselling to gain some perspective?
  4. Agreed about the price of gas. If you do your homework you can find excellent deals on rail travel in the UK. We've backpacked around England a few times and got great deals on the trains.
  5. I too would like to know what type of job or career you'd like to have. Have you ever considered self employment? My husband and I have been self employed for 22 years and would never want to work for someone else again. Have you tried career counselling?
  6. You need to listen to your mother! This jerk is a control freak and he has you so confused and messed up that you cant think straight. You need to block this guy from your phone and any other way he has of contacting you. He's a liar, a cheat and basically a POS. At your young age you should be out enjoying yourself in ways that appeal to you, hanging with friends, working or going to school. Nobody needs to be treated like crap which is what he's doing to you.
  7. Oh geez, just ignore her! If you were so negative in her life why would she want to ever talk to you again? Please move on!
  8. I can relate to this so very well. I got away from my abusive mother and my life got a lot better. I carved out the type of life I wanted on my own terms and I got over the stuff she did to me and I am quite a happy and content person now. We dont need to let others bring us down to their level indefinitely.
  9. It is my belief karma will get them sooner or later. I also think there's a special place in hell for people like that.
  10. It's not ok for them to wish you ill will, but if that's what they do, then that's their problem. You need to quit making it your problem. These people appear to be very flawed and you dont need to copy them. You clearly have no use for them, and I understand that. They are going to say whatever they are going to say, you cant control their mouths. You can control yourself, however. They obviously really upset you a lot, so really the best option in order for you to have a decent life is to get away from them, permanently. If you can tolerate your SIL then that's good, see the kids, help her with them. Those are good things to do. But stop letting your parents and brother have such a negative effect on you, it's terribly unhealthy. You have to bring on the changes you want for you.
  11. I too hated my mother and brother. My dad was a nice man. However I never wished them the ill will you wish on yours and nor did I terrorize them in any way. They are dead now, so problem solved. Yes that sounds mean but some people will understand. You need to eliminate contact with these people who upset you so much, it's not good for your health. How about you move away from their area so you dont have to see them, dont have to have any contact with them? I moved 3 hrs away from my mother and that was far enough to end the misery for me. You dont have to live your life hating them and I hope you find a way to extricate them and then put your mind at rest.
  12. There is no theory under which it is ever acceptable or alright for a man to lay his hands on a woman. It's that simple. Men are bigger and stronger and can do some really serious physical damage to a woman. This guy crossed the line by pushing and slapping you. You are not off the hook, as you slapped him. WRONG! I agree with ParisPaulette. Tell this guy you are done, it's over. Block him. Take photos of your injuries. If he contacts you, go to the police. Violence begets violence.
  13. I know a woman who was a teacher in the US and she taught English as a 2nd language in many countries in Europe for many years. You could investigate that.
  14. Boy you sure are and were thinking with the wrong head. What is wrong with you? You could be this girl's father and you have no business complicating her life the way you have. You've treated your wife and son and family terribly. You appear ashamed and so you should be. You need to stop seeing Miss 20 year old and get yourself some serious therapy and counselling to sort out why you did what you did. You have paid a very high price for your actions and I hope you can figure out how to redeem yourself.
  15. I'm confused too. How did this happen? Please provide some details. The only good thing I can think of is good thing you weren't married to him already and he took off with someone else.
  16. She's a psycho, why do you want to be friends with a psycho? There's lots of nice people in this world, you dont need loonies in your part of it.
  17. I went from Canada to England by myself altho I did meet up with a UK friend when I got there so I wasn't totally alone the whole time. I really enjoyed being by myself and found it good for me to rely on myself to get where I wanted or needed to be and have to fend for myself. I can't begin to understand why are you are so reluctant, especially if you stay in your own country. Life is for living, having adventures etc. so pack your bag and go!
  18. Of course you should take the job. 50 cents an hour is not that big of a deal and you'd be doing what you want to do.
  19. Alcoholics make the worst partners. You are making the right decision. It's her job to get herself sorted out with AA or other professional help. You can't do it for her. She has to hit bottom and then hopefully wake up and work on getting herself sorted out. The victim here is the child. Where is the father? Maybe he should have custody of the kid til mom gets her act together. I had an alcoholic friend and had to remove him from my life as I couldn't handle him any longer. Truly a sad situation when the booze takes over.
  20. I live in Ontario, Canada and went to the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland by myself, flew from Toronto. I thoroughly enjoyed it, and I like travelling anyway. It was nice to do what I wanted when I wanted. I also went from Toronto to London England by myself tho part way into my trip I met up with a friend who lives there. It was great fun and a good challenge for myself to see how I fared on my own. I have a friend who goes from here to different parts of Mexico every winter for several months. Most times he is by himself and he prefers it that way. He's a solitary person so enjoys his own company. I say go for it, you won't know how you feel til you've done it.
  21. I just bought my fourth house this past weekend. We started off small for the first two houses and this farm we own now is 100 acres and really a cool place. We sold it for a small fortune. We were mortgage free when we moved in 26 years ago, and will continue to be mortgage free with a bunch of money in the bank once we move from here. Obviously I am in total favour of home ownership. Rent is money down the drain. If you like the condo idea, look into it, but remember there are monthly maintenance fees on it along with your mortgage payment. A freehold home, in my opinion, is a better idea, but it comes down to what you can afford. Yes a home costs you money but you are investing in your future by buying a house. Get a roommate to help with costs as long as you want another person living with you. Seriously, if you can buy a house, do it. We are self employed so certainly you can do the same and have the pride of ownership as well as an investment in your future.
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