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mamamia77770

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About mamamia77770

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  1. I love my kids more than anything. Please be kind. :(
  2. I'm not going to stand by and do nothing. I'm not sure I was clear in my post, but she was not in the bed at the time. The act of him doing that to her things was extremely inappropriate. I agree that I need to do what is best for my children, and I will do that 100%.
  3. Thank you so much for your response. I am in therapy, every week. He goes to his own therapist once a week as well. I'm not sure what he is telling her, but from what he tells me, she is in agreement that I am acting very "typical" of what she'd expect. :( I don't want to expose my kids to any abuse. I kept thinking that with the words not being said it was better....but the bed being tipped over seemed very bad to me, even though he said it wasn't as big of a deal as I was making it out to be.
  4. I have been posting on this site for some time off and on and have gotten excellent advice. :) I think I'm at a turning point but I'm having trouble figuring out what to do. I know that most people will tell me that the answer is easy, but from posting on this site I have figured out that I am definitely trauma bound with my husband. We have been married for fifteen years and have two kids. He has been emotionally and verbally abusive to me and the kids in the past. I almost left him back in January, and had actually met with an attorney. He cried and begged me not to leave and told me
  5. Thank you everyone so much. You have really helped my clarity. :)
  6. I think a lot of them don't know what he's like at home. They just see when he's great. Some of them know...I have opened up about what is going on. One of my friends was the one who said she thought it was verbal abuse. One of my friends in particular has a husband who is similar to mine. She is still married to him and just thinks that is the way he is. She is supportive for me to do whatever I think is best, but she's in the same situation. I haven't talked with my family about any of this. There is a family friend who I'm really close with. I told her awhile ago what's been going
  7. I have some of my own accounts. I am just going to get myself in order so I can get us in a better environment.
  8. That is seriously scary how many of those apply to my relationship. Thank you for attaching those. No, I don't want my children to think this is normal. Should I discuss anything with him now, like he needs to change, or just act "normally" until I get some information from counseling/legal?
  9. No I don't want to be like that. I think I was just mainly responding to the question asked by the poster if my not cleaning the house is less abusive than the chimes. I think they are two totally different things. I'm not interested in being a slave. I would rather have a partnership of respect, and I'm not getting it. I have to fix what's causing me to be OK with this. It's not OK. I know I have poor boundaries and that's probably contributing to a lot of it. very There are times that he does make me feel loved, he will do nice things for me...like make dinner and things like that
  10. I think that is why I didn't make more of a big deal about it after I came back home after that happened. I thought maybe he was right, and that I was stressing him to that point keeping the house messy. I have been thinking about it a lot lately though, and I don't think that's right. I think what he did to me is the equivalent of me walking up to him and emptying the garbage can on his feet and expecting him to live with it. Please let me know if I'm thinking of this wrong. I don't want to be the one abusing him and making him feel horrible in his home. I have had someone close to the
  11. I just reached out to an attorney as well to see what my rights are. I think I might meet with him first before I throw them away, because once I do that I think it's going to start a chain of events leading to separation. I can see that. I think if I were to throw them out he would start throwing my things away. Just a guess, but knowing him he probably would. Or go out and get worse ones.
  12. I know I threatened to throw them out and he said I'd better not because he'd spent a lot of money on them. :( I think I'm just scared what would happen if I did that. I looked up Stockholm Syndrome and this section stood out to me: "Intermittent good/bad behavior can create trauma bonds. Stockholm syndrome is a form of trauma bond, where the victims “wait out” the bad behaviors for the “crumbs” of good behaviors bestowed on them." I think this is what im doing because the good keeps me going. He really CAN be a good father/husband at times but I'm realizing that it doesn't matter.
  13. I would have been upset too. I think the advice up above that said you might be idolizing him is right on. Sometimes you romanticize the past and it looks a lot different when looking at it in the rear view mirror. Even when it was horrible, you think "it wasn't that bad". There must have been more of a reason for you to end things. I'm sorry you are feeling so guilty! Talking to someone would definitely help.
  14. I would definitely cut contact, at least for awhile until you feel better about maybe seeing him with someone else. It sounds like you felt you made a good decision ending things though.
  15. I didn't post what it was....but it was giant chimes. I have hated them since I was little and they terrify me. I'm not sure what it is that affects me, but being near them really upsets me. He bought three of them and shook them in my face. I was so upset I was nearly having a panic attack. I left the home with the kids, and when we got back he had hung them outside. :( He said it was exactly the same for him....Like in the fact that those stress me out, and the messes in the house stress him out. The counselor I had at the time told me that those are two different stressors but my hu
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