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Everything posted by SarahJay

  1. Ugh just forget it. no one is understanding. right now i am in a TEMPORARY situation. i'll just deal. thanks anyways. - stop calling the mentally ill entitled- sarah
  2. Wiseman- Thanks I will. My dad has depression. But my mom has never been diagnosed. No drinking problems.
  3. I'm not answering all of this just that yes my father is neglectful too. Jeez.
  4. Hi, so here's the deal. My dad cheated on my mom at young age, is a pathological liar (he'll even lie about things he doesn't need to lie about) and is toxic to women. He and my mom are divorced. My mom plays dumb to stuff happening, makes excuses for behaviors and is in her own world- no emotional support there. My dad isn't involved with me but he is not outright abusive to me (tho i k now he put his first wife in the hospital, never hit MY mom, hit the girlfriend he was cheating on my mom with in front of me - well i was in another room and she started yelling "Sarah he hit me!" and pus
  5. You're welcome. I wish you the best! Glad it resonated with you.
  6. I'm going to leave this here. This is by Cheryl Strayed, author and former advice columnist. “Go, even though you love him. Go, even though he is kind and faithful and dear to you. Go, even though he's your best friend and you're his. Go, even though you can't imagine your life without him. Go, even though he adores you and your leaving will devastate him. Go, even though your friends will be disappointed or surprised or pissed off or all three. Go, even though you once said you would stay. Go, even though you're afraid of being alone. Go, even though you're sure no one will e
  7. Thank you. That is a unique way to view it- as though I am communicating to my younger self. Maybe I'll write her a letter... "It's not your fault." Type of thing. And "I'm older now and wiser and can see red flags and have the power to leave a situation."
  8. Thank you for the effort you put into this post. Very thoughtful. I agree with being thankful. I agree with using it for good. I have friends but none with strong emotional support abilities or some just limited availability. I do have a dog a pekingese that is very high maintenance. lol. And I love taking care of her. I think I'll write to help others through what I have been through. And as for the anger, I just need to feel it. Not judge it. But feel it. Thank it for reminding me what I deserve...
  9. Thank you. That's what I hope to do.
  10. yeah, what I've realized is these situations are in the past and I think it's that I never felt or got justice from them. And that can be really hard for anybody to deal with. I'm grateful it's no longer continuing, that I got out of them and the pattern of recurrence. I'm grateful for what I do have now. I just feel a bit like I never stopped to feel what was happening, I white knuckled through the pain, and now that I've been out a while and am writing about my life, revisiting these things is bringing up raw hurt and anger like it happened yesterday. I guess that's the nature of trauma thou
  11. Thank you. I guess there's no way out but through.
  12. I've been writing about my life, and it's made me revisit the past. Injustices. Emotionally abusive relationships. Rape even. Parental neglect. Narcissistic parent. And suddenly, I've become so internally anger. Yes I know to visit a therapist- I will. Yes I also know anger can be a positive thing, it means one step towards healing. And yes I know anger is probably repressed hurt. What I dont know how to do is cope with it. I live with someone and can't comfortably punch my pillow in private. I'm already writing about it. It's just all consuming. I wasn't ready for this. Have you ever ha
  13. Okay I will look into it. :) I'm glad it helped you so much. You sound adventurous!
  14. That's what I'm all about. lol thanks again.
  15. thanks! I think I do chores and things like that and even writing can be a difficult task to overcome so I am def agreeing with you.
  16. I am trying to be a better self soother. I worry a lot. I do have a therapist where I get to vent but it's not the same as a friend. I am enjoying conversations on spirituality in this new group on facebook. I agree spirituality is a great thing to hold onto.
  17. Hi there, I do have a dog already and wouldn't want to foster anymore because she is a jealous dog lol. Pekingese. And I am actually watching a neighbor's dog who is a ball of energy and very exhausting lol. But I will keep this in mind.
  18. Thank you! I appreciate you reading and answering!
  19. I'll stop by mine (I have before) to check out community center. I live in a town.I found volunteering by me but it's animals (I love animals but am scared of being bitten or attacked, I know) or hospice work which I don't think I would want to do right now or have the tools to handle. I do write for a website. But it's isolating. I found a facebook group AND opened up on my personal facebook on my bipolar disorder and why I haven't been in touch with people. I got likes, not many comments. I see the people w ho support me.
  20. I'm not ready to work. I'm trying a new medication for my bipolar. I would say in a year or so I'd be willing again.
  21. After I posted this, I found a group on facebook about self help and spirituality that meshes with who I am. So there's hope I may make a connection or at least get to express myself.
  22. Well I get anxiety when I have to perform, and I have a learning disability as well (that I didn't want to mention but here we are). I also don't want to work, sorry.
  23. Hi all. Volunteering may be good. I'm not ready for a job that's what I meant by things overwhelm me. I do write for a website but that's an online thing that I don't communicate much with people for. I just feel stuck.
  24. Dump him. He is not being true to your feelings. It's more than Facebook. You are being hidden. I'd remove him as a friend on facebook and see how he feels about THAT. ;)
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