Andrina

A mentally healthy and ethical person would put boundaries on herself for the sanctity of her marriage. A colleague she's attracted to would be the very person she'd be careful about not getting personally close to. I mean, I'm sure you don't engage in that sort of behavior, so why would you let her slide in that area just because you love her? Love does not conquer all, as you can see since you already came close to separating before, and now you've even had a talking to to her male flirting buddy, yet she speaks of meeting up with the man in the future. How thoughtful of her. NOT. She could care less that you're upset. She could care less that she's engaging in risky business that could spell the demise of her marriage. Her goal is titillating attention no matter the fallout. Not that it matters, but that colleague will drop her like a hot potato if you're smart enough to dump your wife, because men who inappropriately engage with a taken woman don't want longterm. They like the clandestine stuff and don't want to put in the effort a serious relationship entails. I'm sorry you've been treated like this by someone who should be the faithful partner you deserve.

There's usually a waiting list for people wanting rental space. Why not speak to the landlord and ask to be let out of the lease if they can find someone willing to rent before May? I can't see that a landlord will care as long as they receive rent from somebody.

Since you're only getting your Mom's perspective on things, I'll give another. Not getting your heart broken over a lifetime is not a realistic goal. Resiliency should be your goal. That's often achieved when you keep a healthy balance in your life of spending time with friends, enjoyable solo time, your education and career, hobbies/interests. When you have all that going on besides dating, a guy will never be the sole center of your universe, and therefore there will be no need to melt into a useless puddle if a break up happens.

Well, even platonic friends can feel jealous, such as if you feel a friend likes another friend better than you in certain situations. You're young and learning about yourself. I remember being surprised at things I didn't expect either when I was young. Such as when I was 18 and had a crush on my soccer coach who was 27. It was an independent league for adults, not school related, and he was just a volunteer. It was not ethically wrong for him to ask me on a date, but when he did, I realized that my crush on him did not translate to actually wanting to date him. That kind of surprised me, that I could have a crush but didn't want to really take that to a different place. Good luck with college life. I have so many good memories of mine. Enjoy.

As said, doing the same thing every day makes it seem not so special. Do you have a life besides your gf? Do you spend time with guy friends? Have your own hobby you do without her? Space can be a gift as well. Allows your partner to miss you and sees you have an interesting life besides having her as a partner.

Easy. Say, "My circumstances have changed and I no longer have time to teach your children English." IMO, that was kind of rude of him to ask such a big favor, anyway.

Yeah, not fun. I've experienced the same a few times. Even though I had to put the men firmly in line, over time we went back to a normal, co-worker relationship with just simple, pleasant hellos, etc. Please know that he's the one who has put you in this awkward position, and he's the one pushing the boundaries. This situation is of his own making. I actually have a male co-worker who years ago was being sexually harassed by a new woman in management. (I believe she was literally a psycho.) He was compiling written statements but first tried being nice. He sat down with her and said, "Listen, just so you know, I don't mix my personal life with my professional life. I don't hang out with co-workers outside of work." It was actually a lie, but he was desperate. Perhaps something you could try if that's the case with you. Otherwise, say whatever you've come up with that doesn't leave him with any false hope. Good luck.

Does it make sense to you that a gorgeous man who knows how to flirt and pay attention to a woman be single? If he had his crap together, he'd already be in a local relationship. People who seek out others long distance for this fake cyber stuff do so for a reason. You can probably see yourself within the list as well. Have secrets a local person could easily suss out. Aren't emotionally resilient enough for a real-live, local relationship. Have an ulterior motive such as financial scamming. You apparently haven't had enough life/dating experiences to detect dealbreakers. He possesses more than one. Why do you believe all you're worth is toxicity? Better get to the bottom of that before you attempt to date anyone. Next time try locally. It's far less expensive and it's so wonderful to regularly get together with a guy for outings, holding hands, and all the enjoyable things a companion in 3D can provide.

I'm guessing he believes that when you resolve your complex problems, he'll get to come out of waiting in the wings and get that date with you. I've tried the nice way as well, of easing out of that awkward ask from a co-worker. In the end, after more unwanted attention and trying to be nice but reiterating what I'd previously said, I had to get mean to finally stop his behavior. I think it will be kinder in the long run to totally stop that extra talk that doesn't involve work. You can be abrupt and say, well, good luck on that. I have to get back to work. Because this is turning into a one-sided emotional affair. Many sitcoms have addressed the work husband/work wife dilemma. Nip this in the bud for the good of you both. He will be too busy bonding with you to seek an available, single woman. And when you get a bf, if he visits your work place, or knows about what goes on at your work place as many partners will learn, this will create problems. I know I wouldn't want a woman at my husband's work crushing on him. Read some articles about emotional affairs at work and how to put up boundaries. Good luck.

I like those sorts of dreams and have occasionally had them in the past. Only time I was disgusted was I woke up and remembered the character was a male co-worker I can't stand and do not find him attractive in the least. Some men in my dreams don't really exist as far as I know, but my daughter once told me that even if you don't recognize someone in your dream, your brain has stored the image from you seeing the person in a movie, or a magazine, or even passing them on the street. Here's what it says about that on the Internet. Interesting: It is believed that the human brain is incapable of “creating” a new face. Every person you dream of has been someone you have either known personally or merely came across looking through your friend's Facebook photos.

When people share chemistry, are really enjoying each other's company, this honeymoon period should feel like you're on overdrive, heady with excitement. Being bored is a clear sign this isn't the right relationship for you.

I've been in a similar situation once, but in a different way. I found the guy to be fascinating and clever in conversation. However, I'd never felt so uncomfortable with someone. I always felt as if I was being examined under a microscope by him. He ended it with me, but I would've probably did the deed myself shortly after if he hadn't. Eventually, I met my future husband and we felt very comfortable with one another and nothing felt forced or unnatural. In your shoes, if you don't want to give it the axe immediately, I'd still suggest not giving it more than another 2 weeks if you two can't establish a satisfying comfort level. As the old proverb goes, "If wishes were horses, beggars would ride." Attractiveness, of course, can't be the only reason for staying with someone.

Do you mean you've been on 5 dates? Are you normally this quickly intimate with a guy when you're undecided of whether or not you're compatible in every area, including conversation? If so, that's fine unless you're the type who bonds with a man, even if he's lacking in some way. I'd be bored, as you probably are, with someone who is tight-lipped for whatever reason. The norm, when you've begun dating someone, is to learn about each other. You could tell him about your life, such as if you had pets growing up, and then ask if he had pets. Ask what his favorite subjects were at school, if he got along with siblings if he had any, etc. If he's too brief and boring, then accept this is who he is and then you can let him know the relationship isn't working out for you. If he has one answer replies to texts, I wouldn't even bother texting him on vacation. See if he reaches out to you. If he can't even tell you he misses you while he's away, you might as well be texting some random acquaintance. We can only pick one special person as a romantic partner. Why settle?

I'm all for each parent getting a breather for solo time, but her hobby is way too time intensive, and now she's going on a trip when she has two children under the age of 2? Especially when one of your children was not long ago hospitalized? Is she relying on her family to babysit during all this time away from home, or are you being a doormat and letting her have this escape and leaving you with more of the family duties than is reasonable?

What should you do? Definitely not double text. As I said, you observe if a person is matching you (though in your case, you might me overdoing it) in effort. If not, it's a signal to move on. How many times have I been disappointed a man I was interested in didn't share the same interest? I would lose count. It's part of life. As Batya said, move forward with something else you can enjoy. Do you belong to any school clubs or have girlfriends you can hang out with?

Thorough advice from the other posters, so I won't say more on that. Regarding this quote, I just wanted to suggest that after you've given more than your fair share of effort, don't keep being the first one to always initiate. Being really into someone, you want to keep the connection. However, it's in your best interest to know if a person shares an equal interest, or would let the communication fade or end if you stopped throwing out a line. It's the best way to gauge an interest or lack of one if you aren't always the one to initiate texts or in person conversations. Sit back and let him show if he's willing to give the same effort or not. If not, you'll know to stop wasting your precious time. This will also show a man you have self-worth and you're not some silly puppy who is dashing to him for attention when he hasn't lifted a finger to warrant your attention. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

You seem to have the average, normal feelings a parent would. And yet with this huge scare with your son and him being regularly sick since then, the thing on her mind is knocking boots with other men? She's not right in the head. What is hoops? She spends a full 8 hours in a hobby? Who'd she go on the underwater trip with? Sounds like you're the main parent anyway. In your shoes, I'd be freeing myself, then concentrate on getting the children used to a new family dynamic. Then, I'd begin my search for a lovely woman who could love me and my children in the way we're worthy of.

You didn't reveal what you found in his phone because without the info, you assumed you'd get advice you'd want to hear--what YOU could do to influence him to stay with you. You don't want the advice to break up with him, because subconsciously you feel so lowly about yourself, that you believe he is all you're worthy of. He wants to be free to do whatever hijinks he's engaged in without being spanked by "mommy." If he was an upstanding, mature man who cared for a woman, he wouldn't be involved in hijinks at all. When a man says you deserve better than him, it's always the truth. Time to let him go and work on your self-worth so you don't repeat a pattern of choosing and hanging onto a subpar man.

It sounds like you've been putting in equal effort in communication. That said, instead of relying on whatever good signs you saw in the past, you're smack in the middle of the present which is more important. So does it make sense to you that someone truly interested after two supposedly enjoyable dates would let five days of silence go by? A guy with the interest of a long term relationship being his goal would definitely keep the good momentum going. From what you've written, he doesn't seem like anyone worth any more of your emotional energy and time. As everyone noted, his snarky comment about your exams could possibly show he's speed racer, wanting to get to a goal of bedding a woman by date 3. If that's the case, he could probably sense or gather with his conversations with you that you weren't easy prey. If he's not a player, he realized for whatever reason he's not sharing, that he's no longer interested. Since you're new at dating, I'll suggest a few things you could improve on. Sounds like he did 100 percent of the spending on the first 2 dates. If you did not ask if you could leave the tip for the meal or pay for drinks or dessert elsewhere, along with paying for something on the second date, it could be why he suggested a 3rd date that didn't involve money. When he spoke of going to his house, you could've said, "Let's keep dates in public for now. It's my turn to treat, so I have a few ideas. We can either go to.....etc." Not that I think he's prime dating material from what you've written. Just giving an example for other dating experiences. Best to stay out of each other's homes so early on, since your willpower might be weak when chemistry is strong. Many women regret having sex too soon, but few regret waiting. Can I ask why you're on OLD? At your age, it's usually a time in life where you're meeting huge groups of people your age.

Try not to give another person power to make you feel worthless. Just like, if you work in a big place, there'll always be some co-workers who think you're great, and perhaps others who could care less about you or even dislike you. Would any of them who have negative opinions about you make you question your worth? I hope not. Basically, humans make mistakes and you each made them after the break up happened. That's all done now, so your goal should be closure, and doing group activities where she's present with your mutual friends, if this is what happened, should be something you should avoid for the time being. Try getting together with your individual friends without the bigger group, and just let them know that for your own good, you're going to avoid being in her presence because it's causing you pain. It really doesn't matter what her deal is. She's in your rear view mirror now, so let her get more and more distant until she disappears from view. Take care.

He's too immature and toxic to be a good partner and to become a parent. Read up on signs a partner is abusive and you will likely also see a lot more traits than you've written about here. Be firm about making this breakup final. Besides the gender reveal party, it'd be good if you could take some vacation time and make yourself scarce because knowing his type, he will try to hound you at your home, at work, and hit up your friends as to your whereabouts to win you back. Be careful.

If you're willing to learn to dance, look into any venues that might offer group lessons. In my area, they offer salsa, tango, west coast swing, east coast swing, ballroom. I used to take tango and we had to switch partners about every five minutes. Same with east coast swing, which was followed by a dance with a live band.

I don't get what you want. Do you want to switch houses? Do his parents pay rent to him? How much did he pay for the house? How old are his parents? Do you want both houses sold so you two can afford to buy a bigger house and that his parents can maybe rent a small place? Whatever the case, in your shoes, I'd ask him to attend a marriage counselor with you, plus attend a session with a financial advisor with you. Maybe he will listen to professionals' advice since it will be objective. If he refuses, you can be honest that your bitterness is affecting your feelings and you fear the consequences of that. Make sure that is said when someone else is babysitting your child, and when you're not in an extreme state of anger. When you're as mellow as possible for this conversation, he'll know you're serious and not speaking flippantly out of anger.

Wow, if you haven't blocked him, as you should, and plan on meeting him, get ready for him to get down on one knee to propose fifteen minutes after you meet. He's being snide, asking questions he shouldn't be asking right now, and trying to control you with criticism and guilt-tripping. I did OLD for several years. Intelligent people know who they are speaking with is very likely speaking with others on the site. Totally normal. Totally ethical. It'd be plain dumb to cut off all communication with those you've been conversing with to zero in on one person whom you've never even met yet. There is absolutely no reason you should've answered him the way you did. What would I would've said? "You have to expect everyone on the site is speaking to others until two people actively dating decide it's working well and to hide profiles." Though I'd answer in that way, I'd take note of the red flag of his question. One doesn't even need to ask that question at a later point. A person could just say, "I've really been enjoying your company, and don't really want to date anybody else. What would you think of us hiding our profiles to focus on each, and see if things continue to go well?" I think commitment is a beautiful thing if it's done because a person finds comfort and satisfaction in monogamy. If you're speaking of people who are sending mixed messages while being supposedly "committed," then that's an unhealthy issue and not the ideal of what true commitment entails. Anyway, that particular guy is a nightmare so I'd block him, ASAP. I know I refused first meets with scary prospects like this guy.

People who know how to act appropriately in serious relationships know they have to make accommodations for the good of the relationship. A person has to evolve and change the activities he/she once engaged in as a single person. He could care less about losing you, because he would never be taking a co-ed trip without you that involves his ex-sex partner also being in attendance. He also would choose to not hang out in a group where a member was being mean to you, especially his ex, F buddy. No surprise he didn't change who he hangs out with, even as his gf is being treated like this. Even without the sex partner issue, most people would leave the group and make plans with individual friends or only attend smaller group outings when the toxic person wouldn't be there. Your self-worth is in the gutter since you didn't make a speedy exit the moment these red flags started slapping you in the face. You should've stayed broken up the first time. Be alone and work on your self-love or you will repeat the pattern of being a doormat that a player wipes his dirty boots all over.