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Electra

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  1. I have Aspergers but I don’t have problems making a commitment to people so please don’t spread misinformation about autism. It’s a communication disorder first and foremost. I sympathise with anyone who has depression but I don’t sympathise with pressuring a woman for sex and then telling her you don’t want to be with her. Try to get some help with your mental health. It’s not unusual for Aspies to suffer from depression because we have to try all the time to fit in. I find sertraline very useful to keep myself feeling well. Even if you do have AS it’s not an excuse for hurting people. But you should seek a diagnosis if you think you have it because it will help you understand yourself better.
  2. I think you’ve both hurt and betrayed each other and the relationship started out as a lie because you were sleeping with your ex! I don’t know how long you were together but it seems to me that neither of you is any good for the other and relationships don’t tend to end ‘elegantly’ when one person learns that they were duped from the very beginning.
  3. Thank you for your advice. I’ve told him he needs to leave me alone and let me go.
  4. When you say his health issues do you mean that maybe the MS affects his behaviour?
  5. Thank you all so much. These are very insightful posts and they really help for me to get things clear in my mind. At the end of the day he’s nearly 50 and has two grown up children but he’s not stable.
  6. I’m not going to see him again. I’m just sad because I love him - I can’t switch it off like a tap. You’re absolutely right though. Another thing he would do is cry after sex and say it was because he felt he was losing me. He told me the relationship he had before me was a woman who had BPD and kept finishing with him every 2 weeks. But I now suspect it was him finishing with her.
  7. I’m just so confused and hurt. He keeps suggesting that a tiny part of my personality isn’t quite what he wants. Perhaps he has mental health issues as you say. It sounds as if he doesn’t know his own mind.
  8. I’ve been with this man for about 4 months. He’s 49 and I’m 37. In the beginning we both seemed really into each other. Then after some time he started crying to me that he loves me but somehow he’s not sure if our personalities are compatible. This confused me. Then, a week or so later he phoned me up and dumped me but then started sending me loads of messages about how sad he was and how he couldn’t stop sobbing. We ended up back together. I said that we haven’t known each other long why can’t we just see how it goes. For the next nearly 2 weeks he phoned me loads, we went out together as normal & everything seemed fine. He was telling me he loves me a lot. Then, last Monday we were sitting eating lunch together and completely out of the blue he dumped me AGAIN. He said he does love me and is very attracted to me but he can’t see us living together or getting married. This time I was really upset and cried in the middle of the restaurant. I thought it was really cruel of him to do this in public. After that I blocked him to avoid the same messages as before. He tried emailing and phoning me from a landline. Then he came to my house but I didn’t answer the door. He still seems to want to be in contact and is still messaging me and putting kisses on the end. I just don’t understand why someone would behave this way. I don’t know if it’s relevant but he has MS. He doesn’t like talking about it but I do know the doctor has signed him off work for two weeks and told him to detox. I’m not sure whether his feelings about the illness make him this way. But I think his treatment of me is cruel. I don’t really want to see him again because I think his involvement in my life is really bad for my emotional well being. It’s not normal to chop and change with someone like this is it?
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