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Willard

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  1. At least half the men out there are irresponsible and immature. What do you expect, really? They spend their lives being reminded of how worthless they are and not every man can transcend. I know this doesn't help but it is what it is.
  2. She signed a release. As far as what she was diagnosed with I got that info from her. She didn't list out her diagnoses but she there were more than the two she already knew she had. That mean we are talking about a minimum of three mental disorders. You guy aren't really helping by attacking my credibility.
  3. You guys are right. Thanks for your help.
  4. You're right again. Thanks for the help.
  5. Thanks for the advise. Now the next issue is that I live with her. When she gets back I will have to interact with her. Trying to strike a balance from full on cold shoulder to just being friendly but not friends. She also probably wont have a job when she gets back meaning that the prospect of moving out wont be for a while. I can't just ignore her for months on end while worrying about her hurting herself. Its my house. I am not moving out. I also wont put her out on the streets.
  6. You know the saying. If you love a woman let her go. If she comes to you, she loves you. I can't say if anything is going on with this guy but my guess is she may be getting cold feet about your relationship. It happens to a lot of people when they see things progressing to a more serious level. Serious relationships are a big investment and she may just be sorting out if this really something she fully wants to commit to. It is not a necessarily a bad sign and it can be really good if you handle it correctly. The last thing you want to do is pester her or constantly be all over her. It will make you seem like a nuisance and it will give her more to second guess about the relationship. Give her some time and she will probably start to miss you. If you don't she will never get the chance to miss you or consider what she has a chance to lose. If she comes back she is committed. If she doesn't bugging her all the time wont make things any better. Either way, giving her space will improve your chances and even if it doesn't work, at least you kept your dignity. Next time you speak with her it should be because she contacted you. If you don't hear from her in 2-3 days you do have the right ask for clarity as to status of your relationship. should it come to that ask to meet her and tell her she seems distant lately and ask her for that clarity. 2-3 days is plenty of time to figure out those gitters and it isn't much to ask that she just give some basic answers. As far a the guy goes......men and women usually keep friends of the opposite sex because they kinda see them as a future prospect. Maybe they had (have) feelings for each other but failed to make the connection and the friendship is just a way of not letting go of that fantasy. If she comes back to you, you will be holding more cards over this guy. You will be the officially committed boyfriend and he will be the guy failed at making a connection with her. Lastly, DO NOT FORBID HER FROM SEEING THIS GUY! Even if it worries you do not let on that you are even slightly concerned. Telling her who to interact with will make you seem controlling and if she is getting cold feet giving her reasons to think you are controlling will also not help. Just remember, if she comes back she is committed and he, at best, is her second priority if not lower than that.
  7. My ex-girlfriend is abusive. I won't get into how she is abusive because I could write a book about that this post is going to be long enough as it is. Outside of that she has broken up with me several times just to come back with me within 24 hours. The last time I actually didn't take her back but on valentines day she surprised me with many romantic gestures and wooed me back in. The next day she was right back to her old abusive self. soon after, for the first time, I broke up with her and so it stands to this moment. I get a call from the metal hospital a week later. Apparently her co-workers learned of her plans to kill herself and had her committed. The mental hospital thinks she will be there for a very long time as they have since diagnosed her with seemingly every mental illness known to man. Here is the problem. At this moment I don't want to get back together with her. I can't say that when she is released I won't reconsider but currently I don't see us reconciling. I have three ways to go: 1. Keep my distance knowing it will devastate her in a weak time and find a dead body in the bathtub when I get home. (yes we live together) 2. Stay together. Start over from the beginning. This will be more realistic as the time apart will allow us to work on ourselves and take a break from the cycle. Only this whole starting at the beginning and ended up here. Who's to say we won't end here again and I end up with a dead body in the bathtub. 3. Be there for her as a friend. Get her through this time without further emotional investment. Truthfully I can take a lot of abuse if it from someone who doesn't have unlimited access to my emotions but what happens when I meet someone new, want to start a relationship and she is the jealous ex I still talk to. I don't think this would be good for any new woman that comes along and it could prove worse for my ex's mental state in the long run watching me slowly drift away from her and into another relationship. and I find a dead body in the bathtub. I don't want to be with her anymore. I have killed almost all the feelings I have for the sake of my own sanity. It would be relatively easy for me to move on but I have always felt a responsibility to leave my ex in the best mental state possible and I'm not sure how to do that now. A lot can happen in a couple of months. Even if we manage to work it out over the course of the time she is away should I even give her another chance? If she gets help maybe we have a chance. If so, is it even worth chancing? She was a horrible person the majority of our relationship and I feel like if that is who she is should I even consider putting myself at risk again? If more info on her abusive behavior is helpful for answering my question I can volunteer more details. I just figured it would take up unnecessary space.
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