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1a1a

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Everything posted by 1a1a

  1. I had a shift today that was easy work, decently long hours, excellent musicians. One of those ‘I can’t believe I’m getting paid to do this’ kind of days. At some point during the second set I thought about how glad I was to be there listening to this acoustic duo making magic out of music and with that I think my indignation has faded. (Which is lucky because as has been said, contractor gets what contractor is offered). Still, of my own volition I did a stock take of the hired equipment in a spare half hour and did a spot clean of the storage spaces. And I had the thought that on those nights I’m not rostered and I wish I was, I should make those ‘work on finding new clients’ hours.
  2. Seconding this, if you were still his favourite person in the whole world he would Make time to see you because he’d want to. Let this one go. Speaking from experience clinging onto someone who didn’t make time, nothing but heartache will come of it.
  3. Do you want to choose as your forever person someone who handles a situation like this the way he’s handling it?
  4. A smidge more data, this manager was my work experience kid at a job I did in January. She got an internship at this venue me and then progressed to the management position. We had rapport in the beginning but there was an incident where she had rostered me for a 10 hour shift and two days later had taken it and given it to someone else. From my perspective I had just had this conversation with the og boss a month previously about losing hours because I don’t work a day job which leaves me available to do mid week shows and how unfair that feels (yes yes, definitely not the best approach but he’s a good boss and he was sympathetic). I felt like Id Just had that conversation. And here it was still happening. She didn’t have that context though, and I was very tactless in flagging it. After that rapport not so much. There is excellent loyalty from the OG boss, but he’s handed over rostering to new boss and I feel no loyalty there. I’ve always had diverse employers so, still some other work coming. Inclined to agree it’s time to focus more on that. The work is mixing live bands. I don’t know how one could Increase productivity for it. You can do an excellent mix and be a good host for the musicians but it’s not an enterprise that makes the venue money, beyond giving people a reason to stay in the bar and drink….. if you do it very badly and they leave, the venue will notice and act to get rid of you but in my experience people are happy with pretty average sound tech work. There’s diminishing returns for being good at it in a context like this. …. I used to work for a PA hire company and could reasonably say ‘please give me more work I will do excellent mixes and get along with the clients and they’ll book you again next year’. But I don’t know what angle I could use for this gig where the live music is a loss leader to keep people in the venue. (Any suggestions throw them my way). Perhaps, if anyone has any ideas for how to bolster my relationship with the new manager? The original manager will come and talk to you for half an hour at the start of your shift filling you in on what’s happening and what needs to happen. New manager is much more recluse. I was talking to another tech about the situation today and he responded ‘that’s bad’ which makes me more think there’s a problem. But until I know how to broach it the right way I’ll bite my tongue. Thank you all very much for giving me your thoughts.
  5. I was on a team of three, contracted on an hourly basis to do live sound work. 120 hours a month split even between us on average. Management felt nervous having no back up contractors inducted who could fill in if needed so one more was added. He only gets hours when everyone is busy. Then we got a new manager. Now there’s two of them supposedly equal in rank and power. She does the rosters and she employed two friends from uni to expand our crew and now they are regular fixtures on the roster. For the month coming I can’t complain, I’ve got my 40 hours. But I can see 20 hours have gone to her friends and I’m finding myself a demoralised that whatever extra hours come up it feels like there is never any scope for me to work them and earn more because her friends get them and b) it actually sucks to have the night off while one of these new people works because I’ve got 14 years experience in my industry and they are just starting out. I’m not just losing potential income, I’m losing it to the people who should be interns. The outcome I’d like is to not be benched on nights I’m available so rank beginners can work in my place but I don’t know how to broach this. With the new boss who’s brought them in? Do I go above her head to the original boss? Do I tell them it’s demoralising to be losing hours to newbies? Do I say nothing at all because I’m just a contractor? I spoke to a colleague who agreed it sucks and suggested I approach the original boss and ask for his advice about feeling demoralised by this development and how should I proceed? I spoke to a friend who works as a practice manager and she said to reach out and say how much I love working there and would it be possible to pick up any more hours and is there anything they’d like me to improve on? What’s the better way to proceed?
  6. My 2 cents, I don’t think it’s likely he’s the person he was when he was 13. The questions are how is adult him with boundaries? And, do you feel uncomfortable around him now? Leave aside for the moment the question of if he can or should be forgiven, whatever you conclude at an intellectual level, what you feel is going to override that and if you go on feeling uncomfortable and or revulsed then it’s time to set him free. Meanwhile I hope he gets a good mental health professional on his team, of all the things to later regret doing that is an absolute doozy. But we have to live with our mistakes. Wishing you both clarity.
  7. You’ve made it this far, with less support than average. I think you are mighty and I’m sorry the burden of solitude feels so unbearable at this time. First things first, are you well fed? Are you hydrated? Are you getting enough sleep?! These are small kindnesses you can do for yourself. On a day when you’ve had an excellent night’s sleep and eaten a delicious breakfast (or wait till lunch if you are not a breakfast person), I hope you sit down and do some brainstorming to see how you might be able to make some more connections with humans who like and value your presence in their lives (you might not have met them yet but I am so so certain they are out there). Co signing get a mental health care professional on board too if you can (and if you cannot afford that, at least make friends with the woebot on Facebook. It’s just a little mental health care AI but sometimes if you tell it you’re feeling really bad it will ask you a question that helps you zoom out from the thing that’s bringing you down and see a bigger, less depressing picture).
  8. Just dropping by from the other side of ‘heart shattered into a million pieces’ to say it does get better, I promise. One day you’ll be on an even keel and wonder why you were ever so bothered by this loss. It took me a looooong time and a whole boat load of life experiences to get there so it might not be the fastest process but it shall happen. And, regardless of if you lose him or he comes back when he’s cooled down, you absolutely should take steps now to diversify your happiness. I was doing the same thing, relying on this one person for everything. In hindsight I don’t think he got to date a very good version of me. I’m a better person now my legs are strong and I can stand on my own.
  9. I passed an ex at the supermarket and he was with a cute alterno girl (he’s an alterno boy). This relationship ending was such a savage painful one that I grieved for so long and knitted myself back together and it’s been so many years and for a long time now I’ve been able to be cordial with him (we work together sometimes) and say bye at the end of the shift and feel nothing, it’s been glorious. But today I feel twinge. Do I feel this twinge because the person I’m waiting to see (he’s stuck overseas but we both wanted to maintain regular contact and reunite and so we both wait and talk daily) is no alterno boy at all? It’s like there goes the idea I had in my head for what I’d look like as a couple and here walks past my ex and his lady friend looking exactly how I thought I would. It’s bummed me out.
  10. To break the mental association you might need to enlist the aid of a mental health professional. Psychologist, social worker or counsellor would be my recommendation.
  11. If the door is closed it’s not your door. Time to distance yourself from your sisters and make space and time in your life for people who highly enjoy your company I think.
  12. That’s a gross amount of pushiness after you said you were busy. That would make me feel too uncomfortable and kill my attraction personally.
  13. If nothing changes at all, how long would you want to keep dating this person? A month? 6 months? A year? 5 years, sharing your boyfriend with this other woman who you feel doesn’t respect you (a feeling I’d agree with frankly). Your boyfriend knows it makes you uncomfortable and insecure and instead of changing his behaviour to reassure you he’s doubled down. You no doubt don’t want to police his friendships, and you know that left to his own devices he will invest a lot of energy into his friendship with this woman who wants more from him. Is this the person you want to have for your forever person?
  14. How did you all shift your thinking from recovery attempts to letting go? (I’m guessing having insurance would help with that)
  15. First someone lifted two expensive mixing consoles from the front seat of my van (in the drive, not locked, bad habit.) That’s $6k out the door but I was glad they didn’t take the whole car or the rest of the audio gear or my laptop. Two weeks later to the day my laptop is gone from my desk in the morning. So is my Apple Watch, a couple of days later I realise my old iPhone is no where to be found either. On discovery day I use find my phone and see the watch is at a strange address in another suburb. It’s not enough information for the police to visit though. In fact, the cops really sucked on d day, first two I tried to report the theft (over the phone and then at a useless station) to wouldn’t make a report because my housemates were home and it’s all just a bit too suspicious isn’t it?! Second police station took me seriously and took down the serial numbers of my laptop and watch and said the address is a huge apartment complex and you probably won’t get those items back. I keep looking online hoping to see them for sale but nope. I want them to come back a third time and be caught on cameras they can’t see so I’ve been doing lots of searching for good camera options and ways to hide them. I want them to come back a third time and take my replacement laptop but really it’s dead with a proper car tracker hidden inside and it can lead me back to them with accuracy so I can get everything else back. But how do I con them into thinking im still lax with security so they take the bait? Not keen on leaving the front door open. But surely a laptop on a porch is too good to be true and no one would fall for that! Do I bring the van back out and leave it on the seat again?!!! This is taking up so much space in my brain and I hate it! And to ice the cake, I asked the staff at the Apple store about accuracy of the gps today and they said ‘all you can do is brick the devices’. So I don’t get to enjoy them and neither does the thief. I kind of want to knock on the 4 apartment doors that line up with the address and ask them if they found anything. Not accuse of theft, play the best faith card. Show them the location on the find my phone app and see what shakes loose but then they’ll know I know their address so they won’t come back a third time. If they don’t come back a third time I can’t trick them into taking the dead laptop containing a tracker
  16. Become a broken record. ‘Friend I love you dearly but I can’t hear about this subject anymore. Have you considered speaking to your mental healthcare professional about it? (If she says yes tell her she might need to find a different one as the current one doesn’t seem to be making progress in bringing her to an even keel). I’ll talk to you about anything else’. Make that boundary and enforce it every time you speak. If you feel like it, you could change it to ‘I can’t talk about this ad infinitum with you anymore. I recommend making use of the mental health professional and I’m down for 5 minutes of vent per catch but after that we have to change the subject. ‘ if she won’t respect the subject change leave ‘friend I’ve told you I’m at my absolute limit for this subject and you’re still laying it on me so I’m going to leave for today, let’s try again next time’. Just one thing if the ex is a cheater he maybe would do more awful, manipulative things, best not to say anything one way or the other on that. I invalidated a friend going through an awful time when she was ragging on her brother but she had to live with him, she knows him best. If I was wrong then she had that invalidation from me on top of everything .
  17. Hello fellow Aussie, while you’re in lock down do some brainstorming and make a list of what social hobbies and classes you want to try once it lifts. Do the research, find out where they are, are there any that are free? Are there some that are in your price range?!! Find out when terms start if that’s relevant. Make the plan to attend, not all at once, as few or as many as take your fancy per month. I do bachata and the other dancers are pretty different to me so I haven’t ended up with any friends or cute boys out of it but you will have met every person of the opposite gender by the time class is done because you change partners regularly (waaaaaaay better than swing dancing where you have to bring your own). Set yourself a much lower stakes challenge when you attend these social hobby things of talking to new people. That is all. If you find a person or few that you enjoy chatting to then invite them on a friend date, coffee in town, mutual interest you both have, or you could invite a group out or to your place for dinner. It’s scary and expect a lot of people to have lives that are already too full up to make room for another friend but just like romance it’s a numbers game. I’m thinking about the friends I have now, two I wooed, with invitations to coffee and walking on the beach respectively, two wooed me (with invites to go walking and watch a movie we’d been talking about respectively) For finding company online, I haven’t dabbled but discord and twitch seem very sociable and if you like gaming get a headset and find an online game where people can talk to each other while they play. My old housemate hardly ever sees his friends but he talks to them near daily playing games. 800 cases a day sucks, dammit Gladys! One thing you can do in lock down is invite existing friends (where ever they live) or friendly acquaintances for a phone call at a set date and time. I hate calls but I don’t mind them if I’m walking so I like to walk and talk but my Melbourne friend sits in the yard and drinks wine while we catch up. This won’t be forever, you’ll find your tribe of that I’m certain!
  18. Could be a compatibility issue. If him being clean is a prerequisite for you to get in the mood that is what is. Is that a price of admission he’s willing to pay? If it’s not prerequisite and just preferred can you meet him in the middle and sometimes not need him to shower first? Is there something he’d like you to do that you don’t normally do? (Maybe the compromise is you doing that instead). If you have this conversation with him and he agrees to do one thing and then reneges on that that will be valuable information.
  19. If you work that out let me know. Extravert here, one month in. Really starting to miss people. All this talk of lifting restrictions and you just knooow the one on social interaction will be the last to go. At least the economy can limp along *gag*
  20. Had a productive day but it’s no armour for the unrelenting weirdness that is this. Along with getting the jobs done I had a phone conversation with a boy that took a turn for the enjoyable (I know how pointless this is when we can’t meet), dropped some gifts for my aunts off to my parents place (everyone is old I haven’t seen anyone but my dad on my porch since shelter in place kicked in). No answer on the door so I let myself in and was mid stash when they came down the hall (argh insufficient distance). I loitered and chatted through the door for a while which was nice. They think I’m being paranoid. Then I was sorting through letters and cards. Far out they can be just as deadly emotional bombs as photos. Like the Xmas and birthday cards my aunts sent. Will I even see them again? (Both old), cards from people who don’t talk to me anymore, cards I intended to send to other people but have taken way too long. I wonder how they are but don’t know because the communication lapsed. So here I am putting off going to sleep which is something I do when my mood is low On the plus side this Sasquatch playing chill electro popped up in my newsfeed and seeing it made me feel good for a moment
  21. I've been seeing this kicking around online. Yeah this is down time but it's not normal down time.[ATTACH=CONFIG]11630[/ATTACH]
  22. Here's hoping they come back negative. There's a youtuber called Dr John Campbell (retired nurse making videos about covid 19, as much information as he can find he shares), I don't know if you'd find that helpful or just more noise at this point but he exists if you want to have a look. Had a video on old folks homes specifically recently too. I hope everyone's doing ok. Edit to add: the data suggests that social distancing Is having a positive affect on reducing the rate of infection. Could be the glimmer of light
  23. Fudgie you're in my thoughts. Thank you for not quitting. This does seem like a burden the medics have to bear, others may want to help but we don't know how. Are you in contact with other people doing the same kind of work? They could be good for support. And don't let NYC steal you away what's happening there is terrible but there are already people who need your care where you are. They aren't saving anyone if they take resources from one sick person to give to another :-( Seraphim I think you're making the right call not reopening and I hope you can weather the storm. I hope we all do. Getting out for walks is on point, I've been doing so many bike rides lately (darn well bust a tyre didn't I?! For better or worse our gormless crime minister has not shut down retail yet so I can take it back to bike shop for repairs) I'm heading into week 3 of post covid 19 job less, I think I'm pretty much at acceptance. Stay at home, tell everyone to wear a mask and practice good hygiene with aforementioned mask, living off of savings at the moment watching the prime minister do more socialism than the progressive party was Ever allowed to do. Feeling the worry for countries that seem to be heading the way Italy did. Assume everyone is infected including yourself and act accordingly to prevent spread. Has anyone else had the thought that now is the time to grow a veggie garden? Also if anyone is looking for alternative ways to video call whereby.com is pretty user friendly and free for up to 4 participants in a call. (And you can make the person you're calling's window full screen so Seraphim, your mum could zoom in on your face and be freed of looking at her own....she would just have to get past the brief discomfort of seeing herself before she makes you full screen)
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