Nocam

well the fact that you snooped shows that she means something to you, so just tell her that if she gets upset. but be sure that your spending all this time on a person that you know has the same feelings for you. The whole reason she could be doing this is because she may have lost/different feelings for you OR it could be that shes just randomly trying to be nice and it means nothing at all. Its a 50/50 chance, so id say just have a talk with her to find her true motives with this, then proceed from there. She probably felt cornered when you approached her about the email so thats probably why she lied. She didnt expect you to know at all, so it mustve caught her off guard. So just find out and im sure youll know what to do.

I think it depends on the type of "catching up", while theres really no reason to, unless theyre in some type of predicament together, then whats the point of seeing a fling or ex? You shouldnt automatically question her trust, though. But if shes still so passionate about seeing a person of that type from her past, you should probably take that as a signal. All that energy shes spending worrying about what her past is doing, can be used on problems you two are facing. Theres a difference between being a "hi and bye" friend to an ex, its another thing to start hangin out with them again.

I agree Chall, but how does that explain the times were alone? She agrees with everything i say and gives me all the attention i need. thats why it feels like shes 2 diff people. And I dont know who says these things to her about me, and neither does she. They come in forms of private call and made up screen names. I dont understand it either, but thats how people are wehre i live, if they dont want you together, theyll do what they can to break it, she know this, yet chooses to believe what she hears also.

My girlfriend and i dated for about 7 months and about 3 weeks ago decided to take a break because of constant fighting, not to see other people, but from each other. We're still together yet not going out, we agreed we'd take the time apart to work on the relationship and when we can be together and not argue constantly, then that was the time to go back out. She was going to change what bothered me and I was goin to do the same. we're back together, yet i feel as though she has 2 personalities. Our main problem is that she doesnt show affection in public to me, like in school. Ive talked to her about it on the phone and in person and she agrees with everything i say, yet when were in school, its like i dont exist. i have no problem letting others know were together, not to the ridiculous point, but like holding hands or a kiss here and there. The reason her not showing me affection bothers me so much is because it advertises singleness, which is going to bring unwanted passes by guys, and has. I keep telling her that if we hung out alot more and showed we were together, then naturally people would go on. This is where the double personality thing comes in, shell agree with me and everything but then she doesnt change it. I dont get it, she hates it when guys hit on her and so do i, but she knows how to stop it yet does nothing about it. Also, random people keep telling her i cheat on her and do things behind her back, which is totally false. I still tell her "look if we hung out more, when people come up to you and say i cheated on you last weekend, youll know its a lie because we hung out last weekend" or somehting similar to that, and again she agrees, yet well go weeks without seeing each other. Im not sure anymore, things were going well since we got back together from the break, so its not like she got used to being single, matter of fact we were "together" during the break so its not like she got out there. Im confused, I know its a long post, but please help. Thanks Tony

Hey man, If shes immature enough to make a big deal over that, then youve got other problems to deal with. she should understand enough that theres circumsised and un circumsised, to hold either against someone is ridiculous. Besides, your already cut, cant change that. If she doesnt like it, change her.

Hey if your friend invited you, they must know that it's legit and non harmful, after all, what kind of friend would invite you to be hurt? I say go for it, have fun, learn new things. Only you know your limits, trust yourself enough to go and have a good time. who knows maybe youll like it. dont do anything youd regret.

Hey all, I've been with my girlfiend for about 3 months now. We have just recently decided we are going to start to do things sexually. We were at her house and we began to "get into it" After a bit of making out and touching, She was ready to go down on me. I was erect and ready. In the process of switching to more comfortable posistions, I lost my erection. Just like that. I hated it. What confuses me is that I've been with other girls and this has never ever happened to me. I concluded that it happened because i was nervous. I never really had feelings like this for another, so the fact that I'm actually about to do stuff with someone of this importance to me scared me i guess. We had a discussion about it and she understands. I'm still not happy with myself, I was wondering if there was any way I could forget about being nervous and go with the flow, or if there's anything at all I can do. I haven't done anything with her since and I just wish to know if there's anything I can do.

Thanks for all the help, I understand that its a defensive mechanism that gets shutdown over time, but in the meantime, when the situation comes up, should i let her know it upsets me? I mean i would think that she would think "hey this is hurting him, maybe i should stop" or should i just stick it out and change subjects, but i also dont want her to feel as if im incapeable to deal with this or incapeable of showing feelings. Ive said this things like "you know how i feel, think what you want" but i feel this isnt what i should be saying, leaving it up for her to think about it could just corrupt it. P.S. Is there a time limit for this defense mechanism? lol

You're right, Im not pushing for sex, i feel that happens when its right. who knows when that will be. I dont understand, If shes testing me to see how much i do care for her, wouldnt that mean she plans on making it serious? I mean why is she going to test if shes just afraid of getting close in the first place? I do care for her alot and if we can get past this pettiness, i see potential in us for a good relationship. I just dont know how to let her know im serious when i say it, i look into her eyes, and say it, to me if a person cant say it to your eyes, its a lie. Ive told her this is what i believe also, but still for some reason its apparently not enough. Ive asked what can i do to prove it and shes says "i dont know" Is there a certain situation or something that can finally convince her? I want this relationship to be good right now, you know? I dont see the point in all this petty testing thing. I just dont know how to convince im a different type of guy, rather than just waiting it out. But if thats my only option, ill still feel crappy because ill know she doesnt trust me or believe me in her head.

Hi to everyone, Im new here, just signed up. I just got back from my girlfriends house, which promted me to join. My problem is that it seems Im in the never ending circle with her. She never believes me when i say things such as "I like you alot, I want to be with you, I care about you" Its early in the relationship, weve only been together for about a month, and i know i shouldnt question her trust so early on in the relationship, but this brings up the point, she has no reason to believe me nor does she have any reason to not believe me, im confused on why shes chooses to not believe what i say to her. I care about her alot, and i know its dumb and its early, its just thats how i am. Ive asked around for help and they usually say "maybe shes been hurt before and its hard for her to trust people" and when i asked her, she answered "no thats not the problem" Ive been loyal the entire time, so i dont know where she gets the idea at all. Shes always saying something to the tune of "all guys are the same, they just want ass" and she accuses me of it! That really upsets me, Ive never done that to a person nor will i never, I have have no respect for those types of people, and to be accused of being one very much hurts. Ive expressed this to her and she understands, but whenever we get into a fight, she brings it up. Its a hit below the belt, and she just doesnt want to recongnize that. Friends have told me to leave her alone for a while, and shell come back to me. But im afraid to do that because 1) im not that type of person, i see no point for immature "not talking" crap and 2) shes very pretty, and i fear that if i were to do that, shed just throw her hands up and get a new guy whenever she felt the need. Im just so confused, I like her so much it just hurts when she doesnt recognize it. Jeez, thanks for reading, any help is very much appreciated. Thanks again, Tony.