BetterEachDay

10 years together and I am no longer part of your life. It's been 9 months since we broke and nearly 3 months since we last spoke. I was of course the dumped, so it goes without saying that I can hardly take my mind off of you. You work nearby and I have to stop myself almost weekly from just visiting you. You of course would be angry and run away; as with most problems in your life... you run away. I took you back 3 f***ing times after you left for another man, but what i was really doing was giving you permission to cheat. What i really was to you was the back-up, a doormat, a guy who will always take you back. Not.Any.More! I still love you and no not just the idea of you, but I am no ones second choice, I am no ones backup plan! You ran right into another relationship, avoiding something maybe? I, on the other hand, have been; healing, taking my time, becoming independent, going back to school, learning boundaries, building up my self-esteem, exercising, dating (not much, but some), spending time with my dog (you abandoned her too you know), friends & family, I bought a nice car, begun getting my finances under control, quit smoking cigarettes, cut back on drinking immensely and so much more that I can't remember right now. Anyways, I am on the road to forgiving you because this pain and anger is only hurting me and I won't let any aspect of you hurt me again, I am letting go. Though I believe this to be final (I thought the same the past 3 times,) I will be ready for the inevitable I will be ready to say I'm no longer interested, that I am no ones second choice! Good Luck, and I wish you happiness, but I also hope someone makes you feel this betrayal someday. Goodbye C.J