jald

It really DOES get better with time. I was NC for 1 year. He came back to me just 2 days ago. We had sex. But honestly, instead of it BREAKING ME...it just affirmed that the person I was in love with so long ago is long gone. So meeting him again after 1 year of complete NC just confirmed that it's over. I feel better...lighter. Before, even though we were NC for a year, there were still uncertainties and doubts. But I think, we both know for sure that it is utterly, completely over. He did admit though that in the last year we were NC ... a) I was in his thoughts everyday. b) He was " haunted " by his decision and me at the back of his mind. c) A relationship didn't work out with him ( only lasted 1 month ) bc he talked a lot about me with her. Meanwhile, on the other end...I thought, " Eh, he's having so much fun - probably has sleuth of girls - probably partying like a maniac. "...and I was hurt but it became numb. By the turn of the year, I started to become open to dating other men again. It has only been 3 weeks since I put myself out there and the dates are coming in. Men are actually very interested in me...and like clockwork, the ex came back. But eh, I am ready to be with other people...whether it's for casual or for something longer. But I am ready xxx

You came back after 1 year of NC. But you are no longer the person I thought I would want in my life. I was in love with the ghost of you..and now, I think seeing you again after 1 year has made it crystal clear : I am ready to move on

It's been 1 year since we've been broken up. I often wonder if I will ever get the truth from you to these questions : a) Did you find someone else while we were on long distance for 2 years? b) When did you stop loving me? c) What made you realise that you wanted to leave me? d) Do you regret dumping me? I am ANGRY at you because you.... a) Threw away a wonderful, adventurous, passionate, humorous 6 year relationship. Yes, we had some tough times during the last 2 years of our relationship bc those last 2 years were long distance...but we were at the end of the tunnel! We could finally see the light and just when I was about to file the papers to be in YOUR country, you dump me. b) You never told me the truth of what you really wanted even though I kept on prodding you to tell me what it is you wanted so I could give it to you. c) You led me on for those last 2 years....until you could feel brave enough ( or possibly find someone else ) to leave me. d) You just blamed me. Even your last letter to me was full of blame for me...but NOT ONCE did you ever acknowledge that you did the above things ( see a, b, c ). Despite the anger and pain, I am NOT over you because.... a) The relationship..you and I...as a whole was very beautiful. Truly. If everyone else saw it...but you...then it must be real, right? b) You did love me truly and deeply for a long time in that relationship. It was the warmest, most enveloping, secure phenomenon I have ever felt. c) Despite all your flaws, shortcomings...YOU are beautiful, inside and out. I WANT to get over you because... I want to be happy again. That's it. I just want to be happy again in the same way that you are probably happy now. It's sad how we used to lie in bed, naked and just stare at each other for hours that seemed only like minutes. Completely lost in each other, in every single way. That tiny apartment in that country we lived in became this intense bubble of existence where only you and I existed and no one else....to what we are now...strangers who don't talk at all. I am forgetting your face. I am starting to forget how you smelled. I am starting to forget how you feel when you wrapped me in your arms every night before we went to bed and wake up, with you still hugging me. You are becoming a blurred memory which brings me sadness and happiness at the same time.