Jump to content

Scout

Platinum Member
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    6,936

  • Joined

  • Days Won

    10

 Content Type 

Everything posted by Scout

  1. Scout
    I just see so many posts on here from females who believe their partner has a porn addiction, and it does affect their relationships. And I can't help but wonder how guys would feel if their girlfriend masturbated to mostly male porn two, three, four times a week. I'm sure there will be some who say they wouldn't care...but I suspect if it bothers us women so much when our partners do it, that it would bother men if the shoe was on the other foot. Finally, I think the porn industry itself is basically disgusting and exploits people who were often sexually exploited at a young age. Apparently, some studies have shown that the majority of women in porn were molested as children.
  2. Scout
    BTR...wow. I am so glad you got a second opinion. From what you had been describing, it sounded like you were in absolute agony. Did they say you should stop breastfeeding for now? If it still hurts you a great deal, maybe it's not such a good idea to even pump your breast milk out.
  3. Scout
    I'm curious about that, too.
  4. Scout
    I hate to say it, but I'm afraid this is what it sounds like to me, too. She's not treating you with much respect and interest, anymore, that's for sure. If I were you, I'd ask her flat out what she wants. No sense putting off this kind of talk, in my opinion, as hard as it may be to have.
  5. Scout
    It's only the beginning of March...not even spring yet, much less summer.
  6. Scout
    So do I. That comment really jumped out at me from her letter. It sounds like she's genuinely reaching out, too. At least to see each other face to face and see where you're both at.
  7. Scout
    Relationship counselors actually recommend this as one of the top things couples can do to keep the intimacy alive. So, if you find yourself habitually putting off sex because you feel weary, or just "not in the mood"...you're not doing your relationship any favors.
  8. Scout

    selfish mess

    Scout replied to bug's topic in Breaking Up Advice

    Hi, Bug...was there ever a point in time where you felt your husband did see you, did acknowledge and appreciate you? Who supported your dreams and desires?
  9. Scout

    selfish mess

    Scout replied to bug's topic in Breaking Up Advice

    Hi, bug...welcome to eNotalone. Just out of curiosity...if the other man wasn't in the picture, do you know what you'd want? For example, do you think you'd be happier out of your marriage, even if there wasn't someone else to take the place of your husband?
  10. Scout
    Hi, Sweetharmony....long time no talk! It's good to see you again, although I'm sorry about the circumstances that led you back here. I remember that you and I came to eNotalone about the same time, and we had similar relationship issues. You ask how you can break the cycle. There isn't just one all purpose answer. It's going to call for several things. But let's back up a bit. I think your main issue is you are terrified of getting abandoned in a relationship, so you hasten it's demise before you get too attached. Of course, you still end up in a lot of pain, anyway. Whatever the reasons are behind this fear, I do believe this is one of your chief issues. I also don't think you are picking people who necessarily will alleviate this fear. The guy in the thread you referenced seemed a bit out to sea when it came to relationships, as well. What broke the cycle for me were a few things: 1) I figured out what I needed, not wanted, in a relationship. Turns out there were some major differences between the two. 2) I took my time getting to know the guys I was dating. 3) I ended up meeting one of the kindest, most caring men a woman could ask for. Was he a flashy stud? No. What he the life of the party? No. Was he smart, funny, genuine, and trustworthy? Yes, to all four. But he wasn't anything like the kind of guys I dated in the past, and in fact, if I'd met him a couple years earlier, I probably would have been a fool and passed him up. But luckily, I accomplished steps #1 and #2 before I met him, so I was well-prepared for meeting such a great guy. Maybe you should start with your own list. Write down everything you think you need in a relationship and from a guy. Then look it back over and ask yourself why you need each item. That will help you cross a lot of stuff off, trust me! And once you know what you really need, it will be so much easier to spot the guys who can offer it (and of course, those that can't).
  11. Scout
    I'm from North Florida, and I assume you'll be near the Destin, Seaside, and Ft. Walton beaches. You'll be on the "Emerald Coast" - very pretty beaches there. So, I'd just do a lot of beach walking, or even rent a couple of bikes and take some leisurely tours around where you'll be staying. You could pack a picnic for either!
  12. Scout
    Yes, I was surprised about that, too. I also didn't know you couldn't take most pain medication when you're breastfeeding. Maybe she was misinformed?
  13. Scout
    Perhaps I worded my opening sentence wrong. I kind of struggled with it, actually, as I wasn't sure how to really express myself. All I know is when I was reading how painful and severe her symptoms were, it seemed logical to point out she had another option besides grinning and bearing the pain: she could switch to bottlefeeding if it was just too unbearable. If I was in her place, I know I would like to enjoy the new time with my baby, and if I was in such pain, that would be marred to a significant degree. Yes, there are benefits to breastfeeding, no doubt about it. Studies also show that other factors can prevent children from getting a lot of infections and allergies. For the former, a lot of doctors suggest mothers not feed their babies cow's milk, and instead, use soy-based formula. I also think there are many other activities besides breastfeeding that forges a bond between a mother and child, and I am sure that bottlefeeding also helps create the bond. You can't beat the convenience factor of breastfeeding, that's for sure. And I really, really hope it works out for me and my baby. I'm gonna give it a shot...but if I have severe pain, I have doubts I could continue with it.
  14. Scout
  15. Scout
    That's a pretty dramatic remark for numerous people to be making. Is it possible they think you and your fiance are badly mismatched?
  16. Scout
    Well...he's basically been pretty honest with you that he is primarily just interested in sex with you. So while he's using you for that, he's not lying about it. What's sad, though, is that you're staying in such a situation even though it makes you feel used and unloved and unappreciated. My goodness, you're a beautiful young girl with a sparkling life ahead of you if you make the right choices that value yourself. Life's too short to settle for such a tacky, joyless arrangement. So get out of it!
  17. Scout
    That's how I felt the other day when I had to get a shot! They actually had to delay it because I started to feel a panic attack coming on. I ended up getting it in a different, darker room, and lying down, lol. Maybe you could specifically request beforehand that you're called midway through the list. By then, the class will be so bored with all the other speeches no one will be paying any attention to your's.
  18. Scout
    I've never seen anyone freak out. And I seriously doubt you will. Like you, I feel pretty capable and competent in most areas. I have decent enough social skills. But did I get nervous when it was my turn in speech class? YES! Unfortunately, this manifested itself into me not making eye contact with anyone, and I got a lesser grade. Looking back, I wish I'd quickly picked out beforehand two or three people who looked the nicest and least threatening, lol, and just focused on looking back and forth at them during my speech. Also, try to make a conscious effort to pause a second or two between sentences. That will prevent you from saying "Um" too much. Honestly, Doc...it will be over in a flash, and about thirty seconds in, your nerves will actually start to calm down.
  19. Scout
    If it's any comfort, most of your fellow classmates will be feeling just as shy and nervous about the prospect of getting up in front of everyone. Why not go to your teacher and tell him/her what happened with you at the last class? Even just talking about it to your instructor might help you feel better, and if they are a decent teacher, they'll give you some tips to help you ease your fears.
  20. Scout
    Is it possible that potential girlfriends are threatened by all the female friends you have? I know I would be, and so would probably not pursue something. It seems you've got enough female friends, so quit collecting more. Start pursuing women you're interested in romantically, and let them know it right off the bat. It might also help to figure out if you're unconsciously keeping your Friendzoned for some reason. For example, insecurities about romantic relationships, fears of being rejected if you show you're interested in more, etc. Your username gives me a bit of pause for thought, too. Perhaps you are focusing too much on work, and not enough on your personal needs. Also, many women wouldn't want to get too involved with someone who is so wrapped up in his job that he works incredibly long hours. That wouldn't leave too much time for her, would it? So to sum up, perhaps you're hiding a bit in your work and the Friend Zone because you're a little gunshy about forming closer, deeper attachments with people.
  21. Scout
    hi, sunday...and happy early birthday! I went back over some of your other threads, and I get the feeling that your ex's break up really took you by surprise, plus, you don't seem to have a clear understanding of what led to it. And of course, you're still in a lot of pain over this break up and miss him very much. To the point you want to have your sister ask him to get in touch with you. I really don't think that will make you feel better. But what about after your birthday reaching out to him and asking for some real answers? It seems to me you need closure. I gotta be honest with you. Based on what I read, the way your boyfriend broke up with you is something I've seen often before. It's usually indicative of someone who has fallen out of love with their partner romantically, and feels terribly guilty about that. So, I can't predict you two would get back together. But I do think if you knew the truth, you would maybe be able to start to move on. Who knows, maybe talking to him would help with that. And maybe my first guess on why he broke up is wrong. But it just seems if you two really had such a connection, he could have given you some more clear-cut reasons for the break up. That would have been the fair thing for him to do, and I really think you're struggling with this because you have so many questions in your head about it. I don't blame you, I would too.
  22. Scout
    The La Leche league might have some tips, too. Plus they have a forum on their website. link removed
  23. Scout
    BTR, I have no idea, but I imagine this might be something I have to face once I have my baby. I've heard this is quite common, and to be honest, if it's that unbearable for me, I will have no trouble switching to bottle-feeding. That kind of pain will start to make you truly fear and dread feeding time, which is supposed to be a peaceful bonding time...if it takes a bottle instead of a boob to achieve that, don't feel guilty! Just something to keep in mind if nothing seems to alleviate the pain.
  24. Scout
    I know two wrongs don't make a right, but truthfully, I might feel some guilt, but not as much as I would feel if he had done that to me first. But I definitely wouldn't want this to become a pattern in my relationship, and I would be worried about that. Now, that being said...do you feel you and your SO can actually trust each other not to cheat with your exes? Just curious.
  25. Scout
    I'm knocked up, too! Almost ten weeks, and my first calculated due date is September 29th. I'm getting another ultrasound on Monday to confirm that.
×
×
  • Create New...