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Scout

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Posts posted by Scout

  1. Sad poem. Sorry you're still feeling this way about friends...I remember back in April some of us encouraged you to try some new ways of perceiving this:

     

    What do you think? Are you still a bit nervous about taking some risks in order to find some kindred spirits, and learn to connect with them? It's definitely not an impossible feat.

  2. sorry, I didnt mean to come accross as dismissive... it didnt seem like a point I should have elaborated on. I didnt mean for it to be a sensitive topic.

     

    Apology accepted. And it's not so much that Christmas is a sensitive topic for me, but you once told me on another thread I was arguing morals which was moot. So, it's the being told what I'm saying is moot is the sensitive topic.

  3. the christmas thing is moot, a lot of people dont celebrate it on principal... its nothing to get upset over.

     

    Hey, Eva? Maybe to you it's moot, but not to me. Maybe to you it's nothing to get upset over, but not to me. Your opinion is just that - not an almighty edict. You could really afford to be a little less dismissive of opinions other than your own.

  4. That is why I think you should become less passive and more assertive in stating what you want.

     

    In a relationship the best place to go for information about problems is to your partner. It is also incumbent on a partner to speak up about problems and address them rather than letting them fester.

     

    I agree with what you're saying, DN...however, do you have any advice on how she should state it to him so that he seriously addresses the issue/gives it thought? I just ask because my sense is that this is a subject she's brought up time and time again with him, and she may need to do it in a specific way this time that doesn't put him on the defense. So that he'll give her a carefully considered answer.

  5. Still no word on the test results.

     

    But good news. One breast is completely healed, and I owe it to breastfeeding. It cleared out the milk duct that was causing all the problems right once I started breastfeeding again.

     

    I made the right choice.

     

    That's great, BTR! I'm happy you're on the road to healing. But in all honesty, your thread has scared the heck out of me about breastfeeding. I'll give it a try, but at the first sign of serious pain/swelling anything like you experienced...the baby's on the bottle!

  6. and by the way Scout, it was you who helped me tremendously through all this. THANKS!

     

    Awww...I appreciate that. I just want you and Riley to be happy and safe.

     

    And I do know what you mean about dogs knowing who's got the soft heart. I have a dog that is pretty stubborn. But you know, as long as he listens to me on the important stuff...like "get away from the road!"...I can let some of the little things slide.

     

    Does your boyfriend display any affection whatsoever now to Riley? Any warmth or tenderness? Or is he just a scary authority figure to him?

  7. Hi, Summergirl...thanks so much for updating us! I was concerned all of our posts might have scared you off. I am really proud that you stood up for Riley, and I hope your boyfriend feels remorse for his previous behavior. And hasn't exhibited it again.

     

    What kind of training are you using with Riley?

  8. Continuing breastfeeding is supposed to help clean things out. They don't want me to stop because then I'll get engourged...basically the reason all this started.

     

    I still have milk, so I'd have to go through the drying up process to quit. The reason I got mastisitis is because I wasn't emptying my milk ducts properly.

     

    Ok, that does make sense, then.

  9. BUT I talked to a lactation consultant at the hospital and my regular doctor and I can officially breastfeed. All the medication is out of my system so it should be safe. They both say it's best for both Daniel and I because it will help me heal as well.

     

    BTR, did they explain how breastfeeding again will help you heal? Obviously, I'm not a doctor, but...breastfeeding is what caused all this to begin with, and you still have some issues with your breasts. Isn't there a good chance that taking up breastfeeding could aggravate things again?

  10. I think you definitely need more answers than the ones you've been given. Anytime you think of something to ask, write it down, and call Monday. Get you a big ol' list. You sound like you've got a lot of unanswered questions, and you deserve to know what the heck's wrong and what your future holds.

     

    I heartily second that. It is a day and age when we really have to advocate for ourselves whenever we seek medical attention.

     

    You're going through a terribly rough tme right now, BTR, but this too shall pass. It's redundant to even say this, but you know you have our unwavering support and positive thoughts, 24/7. Hang in there, girl...it's almost over!

  11. Do you not think that implying that all women involved in porn are molested by their fathers, drug addicts or homeless is stereotyping?

     

    If you want to have a rational debate, I'm more than willing. But don't put words in my mouth I didn't say/write. What I did write was that some studies have indicated the majority of women in porn had been sexually molested.

     

    I'm not undoing any work. I'm letting people make their life choices without being judgemental, which is what you are doing.

     

    Actually, you are being quite judgemental about my opinions because you don't happen to agree with them.

  12. I suspect some of you males who are defending porn the most vigorously either have difficulty getting sex from live women (and I can honestly see why based on some of your posts), or you have a real addiction at this point you're subconsciously defending.

     

    Sound harsh? Well, go back and look over some of your own posts, where you imply if women gave it up more, men wouldn't have to resort to porn. Of course, you also argue that the "male mind" is different than the female mind. I call BS on both those arguments. Not every male looks at porn, in fact, a lot don't. And anyone who has been on eNotalone for any length of time can attest that there are numerous threads up from women who are upset that their boyfriends/husbands are into porn, and don't understand why when they have a willing, live woman who is right there!

     

    As for the females on here who also express the view that no one is being exploited or damaged by the porn industry, I suggest you read a book called link removed It talks about how females today are undermining the feminist movement to banish limiting stereotypes on women, and it also provides a very compelling read on the effects of today's hyperly sexualized, pornographic "ideal" on impressionable young girls.

     

    And I am still waiting to hear from the males how you would feel if your partner chose to masturbate to images of strange men two or three times a week. But I will admit this in advance: I will seriously have a hard time believing you if you say it wouldn't make you feel the least bit confused or disconcerted or insecure!

    • Like 1
  13. So, I'm wondering if one can cheat without any physical contact?

     

    This question does seem to leave open a discussion about what does/doesn't constitute cheating.

     

    And I believe that there are instances of non-physical cheating. For example, if I had a partner who spent considerable time confiding in another woman every day, and went out with her at least once a week, I would certainly feel "cheated" - cheated out of emotional intimacy that could be used for the betterment of our own relationship. I would definitely feel cheated out of the energy and effort he was putting into this "friendship" with another woman.

  14. all i am saying is it isn't relevant to the discussion of weather or not women should be jealous of a guy watching porn. it does carry weight if you where discussing the legitimacy of the industry, but that's not what this topic is about.

     

    Actually, while you referenced jealousy among other things, you didn't really give one specific topic for us to discuss. You asked what all the fuss was about, and my interpretation was that you were asking what people did or did not find wrong with porn. The main thing I find wrong with it is the industry behind it.

     

    However, I also believe it can become an addiction, and I've seen a lot of instances on eNotalone where it was tearing apart relationships.

     

    I guess I'm just repeating myself at this point, though, so I'll stop, as I've said my piece.

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