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  1. Everybody throw your hands UP
    18 points
  2. Hey guys, just wanted to update everyone. I retook my test today and PASSED! I remembered I came in here crying about it and figured I'd let you all know it turned out okay in the end lol. Thanks for all the uplifting and thoughtful, kind words. 🙂
    13 points
  3. You would think after being raped recently I will never want to date or look at another man again. It’s the opposite. I’m not ready to date by no means but I haven’t given up on the idea of love. I think I never will. I know inherihently, I have a lot to offer and will enjoy being with someone. Im looking at the spring for seriously finding someone and being back on dating sites. I have goals though before I can do this. My weight loss goals slightly changed. After the trauma occurred I decided I’m not in the right headspace for weight loss surgery. I took a month off of the gym to heal and I’m going back Tuesday for personal training. So I’m doing this the natural way. I’m being realistic about my expectations of what I want in life. To be honest I was never the one to set out a list of requirements about a guys appearance. Like he has to be 6’1 and have tattoos….no I was never that way. If anything I look more for the character of the person. He needs to have patience and be genuine, respectful and honest. Basic right? To me it means everything the guy have a lot of those basic traits. Looks honestly never mattered. I just want the one who makes me smile. so what I’m trying to say is I have and never will give up on love. I don’t think the Rapist could take that apart of me away. I still believe in the goodness of someone’s heart.
    12 points
  4. Words of wisdom worth sharing: 1.) You can be a friend to someone (phone them, message them, plan outings, etc, but if they're not a friend to you (reciprocating all of those things), then that's not your friend. That's you being a friend to them, but it's not being reciprocated. One way relationship, but not an actual friendship. Those that don't make efforts back, or don't treat you as well as you do them, just let them go. Find actual friends, not one way relationships. 2.) Tolerance in a group, or with an individual, does not mean friendship. They may be polite to you (even friendly), they may tolerate you, but that doesn't make you friends. There is a world of difference between those that just tolerate you and those that are genuinely happy to see you and happy for you to be apart of their lives and want you to be apart of their lives.
    12 points
  5. UPDATE: Haven't posted in awhile so thought I would write a little update Things have really been going smooth for me and my new Angel - we've been together a little over a year now - she's moved in and as cheesy as this sounds "she completes me." 🥰 She is one of the most caring and loving souls I have ever met. We are still taking things slow - but I think we may be ready to make this more permanent. She's simply amazing - hard to believe we spent all that time as classmates - only to fall in love later in life. What I love about our relationship the most is we have both been betrayed and we are both so sensitive to each others needs. She's always checking to make sure my fragile heart is okay. It's so many little things that she does for me to let me know my heart is safe with her and I make sure she gets plenty of attention as well. We just can't keep our hands off each other 😁 I love that we have so much in common - we spend most of our time just snuggled up on the sofa by the fireplace watching old TV shows and movies. We both want to move this forward - but we haven't set a date yet - maybe sometime before the end of the year. I went out and visited my EX FIL's grave the other day - I really miss him. Got a letter from the EX - won't go into great detail - it was more of the same apologies and confessions. She's back in therapy and going to school - says she's trying to get her life together and that she may have to put her mom in a convalescent home. I feel bad for her mom - but I honestly felt nothing for my EX - I could not tell if she was being genuine or just playing more games. I told Angel about the letter - we don't keep any secrets from each other. I asked if she wanted to read it - she just smiled and said she had a better idea and chucked it into the fireplace - I happily concurred. I also got a little karma news about the OM - apparently the guy was pulled over by the cops and busted with a bunch of Meth in his trunk - he got arrested and they towed his car. I think he made bail - but he's in a lot of trouble! Oh well - play stupid games - win stupid prizes My buddy is about to retire from the PI business to spend more time with his family - We go out together as couples almost every other weekend and have a blast. Overall I am doing OK - having a great time - loving life - business is still booming - and my heart is racing again. Well that's all for now - Thanks again for listening Stay safe out there.
    11 points
  6. When you are contemplating getting a third job so you can hang on to and support a leech....I think you've completely lost the plot on what a good relationship looks like. Sorry to be so blunt. There is nothing that you can say to him because he is not interested in getting a job and changing the status quo. Why should he? He gets to sit home and do absolutely nothing while you work 2-3 jobs to support him and pay his bills. You've got to admit that he has one heck of a good deal going with you and no matter what, you will not get rid of him. You whine a bit, he blocks you, you keep working paying his bills, he keeps living off you, you make bs excuses for him being a leach and a user and he keeps living high on the hog. Also, serious question - what does he do all day long when you are working that much? It's very clear he is not actually applying to any jobs and he is not taking care of his mental health either. Truly the only way is for you to tell him that you can no longer afford to keep him and he needs to move out by x date. See how quickly he gets a job or dumps you and moves in with someone else as you are no longer of use to him. I'm sorry, OP, but this relationship of yours is entirely parasitic. You really need to think long and hard why you are tolerating this and even defending it by asking people not to tell you the obvious - dump him.
    10 points
  7. Here's the thing.. when someone is ok with you coming in to take the reigns of their life, don't be surprised when they aren't independent. And if you want someone who is independent minded, you can't go in acting like a knight in shining armour. Acting as you did, jumping at everything she asks or needs, will attract to you women like this who are easily swayed by anyone she sees as having power to meet her needs.
    10 points
  8. For what it's worth. maybe you have anxiety about moving in because you know it's too soon. you're not very confident in the strength of the relationship. Can you keep your place for a while and see how it goes? I think it's reasonable to acknowledge given the circumstances of covid, moving in makes sense, but because you're kind of rushing a very serious step. it also makes sense to have your own place. Then give a time frame. like in 6 months, you'll give up your place.
    10 points
  9. oh geez... I am sorry. But here's the thing ... this guy is not a good partner. And for that reason not the ED. I think you should walk away. If he contacts you in the future you can deal with how you feel about it at that time. As an outsider here are some serious red flags, you mentioned - alcohol abuse, poor nutrition, Marijuana abuse to the point it could be causing ed. is a big deal - saying you spoke this into his life and essentially blaming you for his poor life choices. This is total bs! And very telling of the type of person you are dealing with. Run! - that heartless text. that basically says, he's out and dont you expect anything from him and if YOU can't handle it, then he doesn't know what. Then goes silent?? again, very telling of what you're dealing with this guy.... RUN! All of his misfortunes, the death, the hospital the ED.... Aren't deal breakers. You were probably right to not be so harsh on him. But now? Yeah this guy kind of sucks. not kind of. He does suck. Consider this a blessing. Move on. He's not a catch. You deserve better than a selfish drunk, drug addict that not only can't get it up but can't communicate either.
    9 points
  10. I'm sorry, but all I see is an incredibly selfish and immature girl throwing a tantrum like a toddler. She really needs to grow up (imo). Does she always behave this way when she doesn't get what she wants? How old is she? Personally, if it were me, I would head for the hills so fast you wouldn't see me for dust.
    9 points
  11. "Why doesn't his wife care that he's cheating?". I think that the question which should be asked is: "Why don't I care that I am having an affair with a married man"?
    9 points
  12. Wow this is quite the about face, as you announced yourself to be a ‘too nice’ person in a previous post. You’re showing your lack of character and integrity here by first harbouring an interest in your friend’s bf and then wasting no time to jump on horse once they broke up. And none of this somehow registers as a problem in your mind. If anything, you think She is the problem! This shows a lack of empathy for your friend’s feelings and an utter disregard for your friendship with her. Honestly, if a long-time ‘friend’ did this to me, I would consider this a betrayal and sever all ties.
    9 points
  13. Thanks all. Would he stay with my friend’s daughter? Yes, but in the beginning he probably would be trying to rip open the door to my bedroom and stuff. When I am in the shower and such, no he doesn’t melt down. He is at the point where he keeps himself busy. I found out something awesome today at work - our museum got a very large grant. We will be seeing a (small) raise in 45 days, and apparently something I didn’t know is I can utilize the childcare even when I am not there. It’s part of the museum 90 day perk package for employees (im about to get my review in 2 weeks). You get a reciprocal membership, standard 90 day raise(this is separate from the raise coming from the grant) and access to childcare during museum hours as long as you are scheduled for at least 15 hours of the week that week(I always am). So this is really cool. The raise is not as big of a deal to me as the childcare. We can also watch remotely from our phones. So…I think picking up some flex gig or another PTJ is the way to go. Thanks again everyone.
    9 points
  14. OP, you agreed to ENA rules when you registered. Let me remind you of Rule 6: "Please post in letter style. Use paragraphs, punctuation, and capital letters appropriately. Netspeak and shortcutting (b4, str8, etc) are difficult to read and not permitted in posts." No-one is being rude (other than you), but if you want any decent responses, please have the courtesy to make your posts readable and understandable.
    9 points
  15. "I understand. Thanks for being honest. I'm dating because I want to find the right woman to have a relationship with. Since that won't be happening with us I wish you the best in the future."
    9 points
  16. What do you do ? Don’t be passive. Talking isn’t only up to her, right? You stop talking. You don’t have the same life goals so you end it before someone gets hurt or wastes their time .
    8 points
  17. Not a big mystery here. He's not ready, but if he's still on line he's killing time and acting on his curiosity. I wouldn't give this much weight. Anything other than a yes, is a no. Let's go another the next step. It's a signal of readiness or something similar? Do you want a guy who was willing to lose you and just a moment ago wasn't ready? Hold out for someone who sees your value and shares your enthusiasm. Nothing less. It's been a long time since I internet dated. But having done so off and on, I noticed that times I stepped away for months or even years in between, there were still men on line that I might have met previously that apparently were never ready. I called them squatters. Suss them out quickly and don't let them waste your time
    8 points
  18. My wife cheated on me after 20 years together. I caught her a few months in and have been divorced for over 10 years now. I actually owe her a big thank you but she will never hear me say it. She was a selfish lying person that put herself first even before our disabled son. I have been happier these last 10 years than nearly anytime with her. My advice. Tell your husband the marriage is no longer what it was and you are no longer in love with him and you want him to have the chance to find someone to share his life with that truly loves him. Be as gentle and fair about splitting everything up and hope your children never find out what you have done to their father. You have been a selfish lying spouse for 12 years, I think you owe him the freedom from you. He may not think you are doing him a favor at first but in time he will trust me. Don't be surprised if your bf isn't interested any longer after you are free... Lost
    8 points
  19. So, what's next, sex with you in the presence of his friends, may be? He has been absolutely disrespectful towards you and if you have some sort of self-respect, you should dump this jerk asap. He is 51, not 15, even teenage boys would think twice before disrespecting a girl/woman like that.
    8 points
  20. Update......I left. I packed my stuff and left. I tried to talk to him about how I was feeling and he flipped it on me and made me out to be a terrible person. So I left. I'm hurt and relieved at the same time. New Beginnings..... Thank you guys for your input.
    8 points
  21. That right there is the red flag the size of China. Don't waste your time and emotions on a guy who keeps you and your relationship a secret while making himself busy acting single with other women. It's not about the picture or whether he is holding someone around the waist, it's that he is presenting himself and acting single behind your back, keeping you out of sight and just as a convenience. Dump him and don't look back. Also, your instincts are correct in terms of being upset by it. Just....rather than trying to fight about it or "fix it" learn to observe, listen to your gut screaming at you, and walk away.
    8 points
  22. It sounds like a typical LDR... you enjoy all the fun and the visits but you're not there to actually experience life together. I don't think he's pulling your leg. taking care of a dementia patient, especially a parent, is hard work- physically, mentally, emotionally. But... if you can't go to him and carry more of the burden, you're kinda just left with a pen pal. You're not being realistic. When you're caring for a sick parent, there aren't a lot of opportunities for extended breaks where he can go across the country. I don't think you really seem to empathize with him. You're really just thinking of yourself and what you're missing out on.
    8 points
  23. I agree with your sister. I don't think you beer comments had anything to do with it. He wanted sex. That's it, really. I am not sure why you think you did something wrong. He just wasn't into this for the same reasons you were. As such, there is really nothing to say to him. His distance tells you what you need to know, unfortuantely. I would let it fizzle and not hook up with him again.
    8 points
  24. Today we got our RHU offer and I got everything I wanted . 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms and central air and a recent renovation ( 2017). Only $100 more a month than we pay here. We move first week of September. Sad I closed my daycare early but it will give me a summer off.
    8 points
  25. Ahh, the kids. I think it has been mentioned many many times in your previous threads about being an alcoholic and trying to have kids. You need to be fully sober in every way before getting into having kids. It would be hugely irresponsible to bring a child into the world when you binge drink and get drunk and pass out etc. No child deserves that. Anyone who is aware of that could (should) report it (imo). As for trying herbs and supplements to stop drinking - that will never work and I think you know it too. I think you're clutching at straws because you really DON'T want to join AA (as you've mentioned before), so you try herbs etc to make yourself believe you really are trying to quit, knowing full well that it won't work. You need AA and a good long stay in rehab if you seriously want to stop this.
    8 points
  26. He's getting something of value from someone who is a high risk to his romantic relationship--doesn't care that he's risking a breakup with you. If she was a true friend, she would be a champion of your relationship unless you're a toxic person, which I assume you're not. He hid the truth from you so you would accept their "friendship." If he was a person of integrity, the moment she said she was interested in a relationship with him, in addition to showing jealousy on social media, he should've told her they could no longer be friends because it isn't healthy for his primary relationship. If you stay, you clearly possess very low self-worth. There are single guys with good ethics who would make decent partners. Free yourself so you can meet one of them.
    8 points
  27. Okay I am a guy so I will tell you straight. Don't make it a big deal. The bigger you make it the more nervous he will be about not knowing what to do. Keep it simple, nice and slow and make sure you communicate. Is oral on the table? Never to early to learn right? Maybe the next time you are over... Guide him. Guide his hands and his other part too 🙂 Be prepared for him not to last very long. If he doesn't don't worry he will probably be ready to go again in less than a half hour. He is going to worry he will not satisfy you so let him know that learning what each other enjoys is all part of the fun. Lastly I don't think you were pushy. He is a guy with a boner, you pretty much know what he is thinking right there. He has waited a long time for what ever reason so just tell him when he is ready you are. Oh and teach the guy how to kiss, you will be doing yourself a huge favor. Have fun and relax. I am happy you met someone that gives you butterflies Lost PS You are the something special, he doesn't need anything else.
    8 points
  28. If my SO was saying things like that, First I would go throw up, and realize I have been sleeping with and emotionally invested in a sexual deviant, then pack my stuff up, jump in my truck, and drive into the sunset.
    8 points
  29. I think you must force yourself to examine the dynamic between you and your daughter. This is for both or your sakes. Your level of responsibility is bordering on destructive. Actually, I think that is putting it lightly, for a couple of reasons. To be honest, it is destructive. Your daughter has not learned the skills she needs to become more independent, and is unprepared to fend for herself at this point. You have no job and no way to support yourself. Both of these situations have developed because you are managing her every need. In addition, your relationship with a man that you love has disintegrated. There are opportunities for your daughter to learn independence via trained professionals. And there are opportunities for you to become employed and support yourself (and her). But neither is possible if you continue to cling to such a high level of responsibility. It's also not possible to have an intimate relationship with another adult when you are so fully committed to somebody else. I think you should read about codependence. Your relationship with your daughter is damaging her chance to be independent. It's damaging your ability to be independent. It very likely did at least some damage to your marriage. And it's certainly damaged your current relationship--perhaps destroyed it.
    8 points
  30. No, no. Let me try to summarize: He cheated on his wife because he is a moral man. His wife deprived him of sex out of unrelenting, unreasonable selfishness. The poor man is so religiously upright that he did the right thing by lying to her repeatedly and sleeping with random other women for only one year. One of the crazy ladies that he slept with lost her mind and texted him after several years of absolutely no communication from him, and perfect fidelity to his wife. He was just too irresistible, and the crazy lady couldn't help herself. His sneaky, snooping wife spied on him and found this crazy lady's text message. She believed the crazy lady over her own religiously pious, wonderful, perfect husband. Then his wife went and divorced him because she is actually an evil and blasphemous heathen who doesn't understand that she caused this whole problem in the first place. All she cares about is herself. If you believe that, I have a bridge to sell you.
    8 points
  31. No, it's the hardest thing you will ever do. I was a stay at home mom with no marketable skills with two young sons. My ex threatened that I would sleep in my car and never see my sons if I left. I got myself into therapy and I slowly started speaking up for myself and asking for change. I was given the tools and support to handle my end respectfully with confidence and an objective 3rd party who helped me find my way. My ex always played the "how low can I go" game. But I was proud of how I learned to handle myself when faced with toxic conflict and not let him rattle me. The turning point was seeing an attorney. That was the hardest thing I did and it took me about a year into therapy to make that phone call. I kept viewing that as a final fact, but I was encouraged to view it at as just seeking information. That's all. Information is power and whatever information I received I didn't have to act on it. I kept the appt and even with that I think I waited a few more months before I acted on it and put him on retainer. I no longer had the crippling fear of what leaving would look like, as far as finances and custody would look like. Because if fear was the only thing keeping me at that point, I need to know. I ended up with primary custody of the boys but was committed to them having a good relationship with their dad, because that's what they deserved. We did ultimately go to couples therapy. He went for the wrong to reasons. He attempted to negotiate that he would go if I stopped my individual therapy. He went if I would fire the attorney I had put on retainer on, but wasn't even using at the moment. He did it to control the situation. I said a firm no to both conditions, but he reluctantly went. Which is a sad way and a wrong way to go about marriage counseling. Sitting in front of a third party therapist who challenged us both, all the ugliness spilled out. In the end counseling didn't save our marriage. What it did show me is that is was irrevocably broken. I begged for change and he fought to keep things the same. From the time I started individual counseling to the day he moved out, it took about 18 months. It wasn't an impulsive decision. In the end, I do not have any second thoughts that I didn't do everything in my power to save the marriage. Though it's sad life changing experience, I have a clear conscience. He left me no choice. He on the other hand lives with regrets. I used to tell myself I would stay and fight for my marriage for my kids. In the end I left for them. I didn't want them to think it was ok for men to treat women the way he did. So, when you say it's complicated and we might not understand. I can safely say I understand. I think a lot of women in your place can. I went back to school and today I have an 17 year career, I am a homeowner having just paid off my mortgage and anticipating an early retirement. My sons are thriving, educated and have great jobs. I can't find the words to express what living in a peaceful safe home feels like. The boys have a good relationship with their father. And in spite of everything. . and it took a looong time, we all spent this last Christmas together, myself, my bf, my ex and his gf, the boys and my new granddaughter. If anyone asked me if I envisioned this happening, I would have fallen off my chair and fainted. I hope my story helps you in some small way. Hang in there. You only get one life. Take that leap of faith. But start with therapy and get yourself some much deserved support. People can easily throw out the 'just leave' comments. It's a process. Being aware that it's miserable and seeking advice is often just the start of your journey.
    8 points
  32. I never thought I would see such a day in my country. I pray for peace, compromise, and unity. I am not trying to start a political discussion, I am just so disheartened by everything.
    8 points
  33. Here's wishing everyone a safe and Merry Christmas! 🎅 ⛸️ ⛄
    8 points
  34. You are the jerk here. She makes you food you dont want then you want her to bring food later, she knows you want to get laid so she says no. Then you get another woman to come over to f*ck and then you ignore the first woman. No wonder she's PO'd with you! Leave her alone, you've done enough damage.
    7 points
  35. There's a difference between using conflicts to negotiate better outcomes versus turning a spouse (or his family) into adversaries. I would have asked husband, "If you want to allow your Mom to set the timeline, are you willing to get the baby ready while I catch up?" Cleaning up the house to impress MIL when your hostile attitude toward her and husband overrides any other impression isn't helpful. I would have left the place a bombshell to demo the help that I need. Then whoever tried to rush me would have been assigned a job to help out.
    7 points
  36. Your self-worth isn't at the best level you thought it was. He's not an ethically decent man. If he were and was unhappy in his relationship and yet not willing to break up, he would be doing everything in his power to fix the relationship. Instead, he wants the comforts of an intact family plus a side-piece who he cares nothing for. He doesn't care that his side-piece will never fully have him, either physically or emotionally. How she will spend all the major holidays without him. How she will have to be a dirty secret. Chemistry only makes up one part of who you should be with. That seems to be the only part you two possess. You say he respects you? Wow, it's quite the opposite. If he did, he wouldn't have reached out to a naive, thirsty woman he knows lacks self-respect. You were easy prey for him. And his excuse he'd lose time with his children is nonsense. Unless a parent is neglectful or abusive, he will receive his fair share of custody. Regardless, if the excuse was valid, it's still not right to use other people for his own lustful needs. This is a small town, so if you don't think many see what's going on, you're wrong. Save your sanity and reputation and delete him from your life ASAP. As a mother, you especially don't want to be this sort of role model for you child, who sees and hears everything and will witness how you run your life. Yeah, your fantasy of who he is will never match reality. Being alone is better than being in an inappropriate relationship. You have far more work to do on yourself. Good luck.
    7 points
  37. So, she may have given you solid advice at a key moment in your life, OP. She may have softened your heart enough for you to say the L word. Unfortunately, she is a liar and a cheater. She strung you and Mr. Guy along for quite some time. She is still stringing you along. She is not the one you will end up with. There is a better partner in your future who (1) is capable of giving solid advice during key moments, (2) will get you to say that you love her, and (3) is not a liar and a cheater. But for your current ride on the (ex-)partner's "will she, won't she" emotional roller coaster, you would realize that. I am with the "consensus" that you leave her and try to heal and move on. You mention you want to reconcile despite the consensus which advises against it. Even so, look at this situation strategically, OP. You two will never end up happy together if she does not respect you. You have always been willing to let her return no matter what she does. You let her treat you like a doormat. You do not even respect yourself enough to say "enough is enough." Accordingly, she does not respect you. She has shown you this much through the way she treats you. I do not see a way forward for this relationship/marriage, OP. I am sorry. But even if there is a way forward, it will not be found if you always let her back in each time she flirts with the idea of reconciliation. -- I hope this helps.
    7 points
  38. OP, you have described yourself as plain and overweight, dull and pedestrian. If those factors be true, well, they do not help your chances. Additionally, implicit in your descriptors (and dating experiences) is low self-esteem. Potential partners are attracted to confidence and put off by low self-esteem and desperate behavior. People can pick up on these attitudes even if you think you are hiding them well. I think working on the traits you do not like would help two-fold, as a practical matter. One, because you would be actually making positive changes. Two, because making these improvements would increase your self-esteem and confidence. A couple of questions for you, OP: Why do you think you are plain-looking? What does this mean? Could this be fixed with an awesome haircut and some new clothes/shoes? Do you or can you go to the gym? A gym membership at Planet Fitness around where I live (U.S.) costs around $10 per month. It is nice inside and it is relatively inexpensive as far as gym memberships go. Or, if you are not feeling a gym membership at this point, consider listening to podcast and walking a couple miles each day. You burn over 100 calories per mile (the more you weigh, the more calories you burn per mile). What are your hobbies, OP? Do you have any hobbies which include social interaction? My best relationships to date have started either (1) because a friend introduced us, or (2) because we met doing a hobby we both enjoyed (in my case, ballroom and latin dance). You have listed out some items to work on. Knowing is half the battle. Now, I vote you make a plan to work on those items and then take action. I hope this helps.
    7 points
  39. Not to be obvious but 30 has come and gone, if your goal was to be married or engaged by then, why was this not addressed at that time? If I were you I wouldn't hold my breath. Your boyfriend is taking you for granted because he knows you'll stay with him, marriage or not. There is no reason for him to propose. So he won't.
    7 points
  40. I had someone who was a close friend try to get me fired. She was trying to be best friends with our supervisor so she thought she'd get kudos for tattling on me. Problem was, I didn't do what she'd claimed I'd done and I was able to prove it. I reacted by working my butt off. I performed over and above what was required. This resulted in me getting promoted. The ex friend? She got promoted too...2 1/2 years after I did. It's not easy when someone has it in for you. But it seems you are a valued employee. Try to let the petty BS roll off you and just go in there and kick butt. This job with it's accompanying child care benefit is way too good for you to leave it over an unprofessional buffoon.
    7 points
  41. I think this guy is looking to "punish" someone for all the past pain. So he chose this moment to punish you and cast you out of his life, because it doesn't sound like he ever really dealt with his ex cheating on him. Should you have been honest about being out of work? Sure. But is he over-reacintg? Yes, without any question. Major projection going on there. He's showing you that he is rigid and lacks any empathy. His stance towards you is punitive and I would not be sad to lose someone like this. Notice how he made this all about him and his feelings? Never asked how you were coping with unemployment? Never tried to meet you halfway on this? Made you feel bad for cutting loose and having a good time with a few drinks? He sounds controlling, honestly. Toodles, dude. He's not the great catch you think he is.
    7 points
  42. Thank you everyone. My husband went down last night to be with his mom. Hopefully he can get in to see his dad today. He lived a long life, almost 89. He lived a mostly good life and was happy. This will be a release for him. He was such a strong independent man all his life to be trapped in a failing mind and body would have been torture for him. My husband and mother in law see it as a mercy for him.
    7 points
  43. Please do not prolong this. You'll just get more attached and more angst over this dealbreaker issue. He didn't make this decision because of an individual epiphany he had -it was in reaction to you now determining you definitely don't want kids even though at points you said you might be open to it. Please let him find someone who wants children with all her heart and soul so he can realize his dream of being an awesome father. He's waffling because he's so afraid of losing you . Do the humane thing and let him go so he can be a dad. Or at least try to, with someone who can't wait to be a mom.
    7 points
  44. OK, so I got the restraining order yesterday. He should be served with it today. Also, my daughter filed charges for the items he stole from her. I filed charges because he stole my wedding dress. For those charges, he now has 2 warrants for his arrest. This will definitely violate his probation so he should be back in jail for a while...I hope. I contacted an attorney yesterday and she is supposed to call me back today. I'm staying at my mom's until my son gets back from drill on Saturday. Thank you all for your concern and support. I appreciate it more than you know!
    7 points
  45. He doesn’t have to “ mature “ . You can be entirely mature and not want children. You made a mistake In not believing when he told you in the beginning he didn’t want kids. This is not something to compromise on. If you want kids you need to divorce.
    7 points
  46. Sorry to hear this. After a few dates, unfortunately he was crystal clear about how he feels. You need to believe him and accept that not every dating situation works out. He's not "the one", if he just wants to be friends.
    7 points
  47. Please just delete his number and don't ever reach out or text him anything again. You've already texted him enough, including telling him that just ghosting you like that was uncalled for. There really comes a point where you have to accept that silence IS communication and what it communicates is that the person you are contacting doesn't wish to talk to you or be a part of your life anymore. Telling someone who doesn't care that they hurt your feelings isn't going to make them care. He knows what he did and meant to do it because that was convenient for him. He is showing you again and again that he will continue to respond to your texts with silence. At this point, you will start to look crazy if you keep reaching out to him. Most importantly, please don't get into this idea that his bad behavior is somehow about you or a measure of you and your value. It is not. HIs actions are not about you - just a reflection of him and who he is. You thought he is great, now you know beyond the shadow of the doubt that he is not. So stop dwelling on his behavior and move on in peace knowing that you just totally dodged a bullet. When people show you who they really are, believe them.
    7 points
  48. Girl. Warning. Tough love ahead, but with kindness and respect: 1) What the heck were you thinking having a baby with a guy you'd never even lived with? You both put the cart way before the horse there, and I am wondering what your thought process was. Did you just want a baby really badly, or? 2) What the heck are you thinking drinking with him at all? You know he is an alcoholic. Why are you enabling his intake by having drinks with him? 3) Don't let him drive your car anymore. It's only a matter of time before he gets into an accident or arrested for drunk driving. And whatever you do, never let him drive with your baby in the car. 4) Alcoholics can't have just one drink a week and be fine. He needs to be having zero drinks a week, for good. 5) No, many women would not put up with his terrible hygiene and bed-wetting. That is repulsive. I bet you're starting to feel like you have two babies to look after now, huh? He is indeed an addict. Taking anything but a hard-line approach likely isn't going to work. You are going to need to find your courage and demand he get into treatment, or get out. And yes, you need to do this even when he's down on his luck. Probably now more than ever, actually. His alcohol abuse will increase as he struggles to cope with life. If you don't, expect nothing to change unless and until he hurts himself, or God forbid, someone else.
    7 points
  49. Our Christmas is going to consist of us three Covidites. But that's OK. We will see our kids when it's safe to do so, probably in a week. Happiest of Holidays and Merry Christmas to all.
    7 points
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