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Showing content with the highest reputation since 05/07/2020 in all areas

  1. No, no. Let me try to summarize: He cheated on his wife because he is a moral man. His wife deprived him of sex out of unrelenting, unreasonable selfishness. The poor man is so religiously upright that he did the right thing by lying to her repeatedly and sleeping with random other women for only one year. One of the crazy ladies that he slept with lost her mind and texted him after several years of absolutely no communication from him, and perfect fidelity to his wife. He was just too irresistible, and the crazy lady couldn't help herself. His sneaky, snooping wife s
    8 points
  2. No, it's the hardest thing you will ever do. I was a stay at home mom with no marketable skills with two young sons. My ex threatened that I would sleep in my car and never see my sons if I left. I got myself into therapy and I slowly started speaking up for myself and asking for change. I was given the tools and support to handle my end respectfully with confidence and an objective 3rd party who helped me find my way. My ex always played the "how low can I go" game. But I was proud of how I learned to handle myself when faced with toxic conflict and not let him rattle me. Th
    8 points
  3. I never thought I would see such a day in my country. I pray for peace, compromise, and unity. I am not trying to start a political discussion, I am just so disheartened by everything.
    8 points
  4. Here's wishing everyone a safe and Merry Christmas! 🎅 ⛸️ ⛄
    8 points
  5. He doesn’t have to “ mature “ . You can be entirely mature and not want children. You made a mistake In not believing when he told you in the beginning he didn’t want kids. This is not something to compromise on. If you want kids you need to divorce.
    7 points
  6. Sorry to hear this. After a few dates, unfortunately he was crystal clear about how he feels. You need to believe him and accept that not every dating situation works out. He's not "the one", if he just wants to be friends.
    7 points
  7. You need to ask yourself what you see in such a rude, demeaning little punk. Seriously, why are you still even giving this guy the time of day, much less explaining yourself to him? He is not a good person. I would have launched this weasel into the stratosphere by now, and long since blocked his number. You need to ask yourself why you haven't.
    7 points
  8. Please just delete his number and don't ever reach out or text him anything again. You've already texted him enough, including telling him that just ghosting you like that was uncalled for. There really comes a point where you have to accept that silence IS communication and what it communicates is that the person you are contacting doesn't wish to talk to you or be a part of your life anymore. Telling someone who doesn't care that they hurt your feelings isn't going to make them care. He knows what he did and meant to do it because that was convenient for him. He is showing you again and
    7 points
  9. This is not how healthy relationships function, OP. You can't make anyone buy you things, nor should you. That is plain entitled. if he isn't the type to keep his word on treating you, you end it. You don't try to force him to do things he isn't naturally interested in doing.
    7 points
  10. Cheaters are glib liars and they will always lie about their relationships in order to justify their cheating and excuse or even garner sympathy from you about their "plight". Aside from the world's smallest violin playing in the background as I read over his bs....you know what jumped out at me the most? He told you they are both such devout Christians, divorce not an option....and yet divorce became an immediate option once the wife found out he is a cheater. Can you see the glaring inconsistency here with what he claims and reality? Him telling you about it is really a pretty comm
    7 points
  11. This is a lot of thought on a guy you had one meeting with. I think its odd that people say they feel so appreciative of hearing some watered down version of the truth a person chose to share. Do I sound cynical? I am. And you should be, too. Just because he remembered you enough to recognize you on a dating app 6 months later. Should not be confused with knowing a person for 6 months. Rather he obviously hasn't had much luck finding women. And that's not a dig against him. That is how on line dating is. Most people on dating apps have the same problem you do...
    7 points
  12. Tinydance As you may remember I grew up with alcoholic parents. One admitted they had a problem and openly said they were an alcoholic and the other thought everyone else had the problem and she had it under control. Those last 4 words are the downfall of almost all alcoholics whether they are trying to stay clean or they are a functioning alcoholic. Once they think they have it under control they are doomed. It sounds like you have been able to stop drinking for periods of time which means you can stop. Your problem is that you say you are an alcoholic but you fail to reali
    7 points
  13. Cracks me up when people in their 40s convince themself that they can pass for their 20s. Nope, nada, no way! And even if you did, it does not excuse creepin on a high school kid. Who cares if he approached you first.
    7 points
  14. You sure did! I don't know if the love is dead, but you're certainly with a guy who thinks women are gold diggers. Don't bother putting any effort into figuring out why he would think that given the circumstances, because bigotry never make sense. It's a form of stupidity. You can love stupid, and stupid can love you. But you can't fix stupid.
    7 points
  15. Girl. Warning. Tough love ahead, but with kindness and respect: 1) What the heck were you thinking having a baby with a guy you'd never even lived with? You both put the cart way before the horse there, and I am wondering what your thought process was. Did you just want a baby really badly, or? 2) What the heck are you thinking drinking with him at all? You know he is an alcoholic. Why are you enabling his intake by having drinks with him? 3) Don't let him drive your car anymore. It's only a matter of time before he gets into an accident or arrested for drunk driving. And what
    7 points
  16. I hope you all have a great Christmas.
    7 points
  17. Our Christmas is going to consist of us three Covidites. But that's OK. We will see our kids when it's safe to do so, probably in a week. Happiest of Holidays and Merry Christmas to all.
    7 points
  18. OK first of all, break ups don't fix relationships. You split up because you weren't getting along and weren't able to effectively address the issues between you. What he or you did while you were single is not something you can hold over his head. He was right to seek to move on since you were broken up. Since you both got back together, it doesn't sound like you have taken any real time to actually address what really lead up to the first break up. Instead, you are now fixated on punishing him for what he did when he was single and before giving this another chance. Problem is that
    6 points
  19. Agree. Also given that you met him recently I’d focus on talking in person or by phone and not send political videos even if funny to you. You don’t know him well enough. I’d do this next time too. I think he’s a real gentleman telling you why he doesn’t want to date you anymore. I wouldn’t do the friendship thing in this situation. Please don’t assume whether he’s available or not. You barely know him and you’re not his mother or therapist. He simply is not that into you.
    6 points
  20. I second the above. Breaking up wouldn't make her a terrible person but knowingly choosing to risk emotionally scarring another human being through full-on cheating, which is where she would be heading at if she doesn't clean up her act, would be a whole different story. Infidelity tends to create emotional scars and trust issues on the people that are cheated on. Personally, I have trouble excusing cheaters no matter their age. The vast majority of us have been taught as children that cheating is wrong and that one should not do to others what one would not want to be done to them, so on
    6 points
  21. Cheaters don't change. It's a fundamental character issue and unfortunately, whatever you've caught them at is usually just tip of the iceberg. Having a child is THE reason to talk to several top divorce lawyers and end this sham of a marriage. Children are not oblivious and the worst damage you can do to them is continue on and demonstrate that cheating has no consequences, that mom can run around and dad will just sit by all sad and turn a blind eye to the abuse. Basically, better to have one sane parent who can demonstrate proper values and boundaries, including leaving a cheater, than
    6 points
  22. You really shouldn't go with what they tell you. You should go with what they show you. For that, you need to take your time and not rush in. Remember: you don't know this guy, not yet. It's exciting when you feel a connection with someone, especially if you've been in a bit of a drought. But it's just a feeling. Keep dating him, but don't let yourself to get carried away by those feelings, and start to justify the things that are setting off those warning bells. He seems better than the last guy, but that doesn't mean he is better. You got over your divorce relatively qu
    6 points
  23. Don’t ever put your dreams on hold for someone else’s insecurities. I think it’s quite selfish his worries of what if scenarios take presidency over your excitement. If he was supportive he wouldn’t let any amazing opportunities pass you by.
    6 points
  24. First and foremost, I don't care how great a guy is, I personally do not date someone recently separated or going through a divorce. The uncoupling, emotionally, physically and financially is a process that takes years. Do not underestimate this. Statistics show that the first relationship post divorce rarely works. The divorcee is still relearning to be singular minded and refining their new identity. The urge to find a replacement to fill the void is strong, but leads them to not make mindful choices. First relationships are not much more than pacifiers until they get their balance b
    6 points
  25. So when he is stressed he gets high and when he is lonely or needs an ego boost he goes on Tinder. Is this really the kind of a person you can ever trust and rely on? What's going to happen when life gets really difficult - when you have young kids and can't sleep all night because one is sick or you lose your job and bills pile up? He'll spend your last money on weed and hookers because you know....he is stressed and needs comforting..... You made the right decision to dump him and truly, should have done so long ago. Stick with that decision because the only thing you are missing out is
    6 points
  26. Order a large pizza with the lot to be delivered just before you tell her its over. The look on her face will be priceless 😂
    6 points
  27. I disagree that anyone should "expect sex". She's not a performing monkey or a paid sex worker. Aren't we always being told we can say no at any time? And the idea that I should announce my period so I can be excused from intercourse is, frankly, kind of ridiculous.
    6 points
  28. Cfrazier, you've just adopted your fifth and most spoiled child...you need to boot him out. Do not be that woman that needs a man at all cost, even to the detriment of your children's well-being. They have already suffered enough with the passing of their father and witness abuse in the household.
    6 points
  29. You need to ask him to move out. Put your kids first. He's bullying you and your kids.
    6 points
  30. I think it's a petty and stupid argument. So she didn't respond the way you expected and you didn't respond the way she expected. What are you going to do turn back time? You both have a hand in the misunderstanding and the continuing of it. Do you want to be right? Or do you want to be happy? I would talk to her in a loving and kind way. What do you two agree will be the way to handle these things going forward? And then let it go... 🙄
    6 points
  31. This. All of it. I really feel like I need to comment on this. I don't date anymore, because I'm married now, but I was pretty cautious back when I did. I didn't live in fear of serial killers or anything, and I certainly didn't think every guy was a rapist, but...there's something to be said for being careful, and with all due respect to some of the men posting here, you really, really, really have no idea what it's like being a woman. I have a list of things I don't do by myself at night (I live in a fairly big city, and while crime isn't out of control, it's still an issue): Go to a
    6 points
  32. Excellent. Update so we know you weren't hacked to pieces and put through a woodchipper.😉
    6 points
  33. I'm glad you did. Opioid withdrawal is miserable but not deadly, still incredibly hard to kick but it is something that can be done. I echo what others have said re: alcohol cessation being deadly if not done properly under the guidance of a healthcare professional. Yes, it can be deadly if one is physically dependent. Tinydancer, I am not sure if you are or not at this point in time; I am not in a position to assess that. I trust that if you are going to pursue that, you will be in touch with your therapist and your doctor and follow their directions. Okay that being said... Ad
    6 points
  34. This may sting a bit, but I’m going to hold the mirror up for you and I hope you can open your mind and understand the part you played in this. 1.) 6 weeks of dating, his dad becomes ill to the point he and his mom must take care of him. That’s pretty significant, and yet you have arguments about not being able to see each other for the holidays. Seriously it’s been 6 weeks and his dad is ill. He shouldn’t be with you for the holidays, he should be with his family. 2.) 8 weeks of dating, he finds out his dad has TERMINAL CANCER. Yet you complain about photos he’s liking and women he’
    6 points
  35. OP, He is not interested in marriage. Please please do not consider marrying this man. It sounds to me like he is interested in living with you so he can sponge off you, the way he's sponging off his mommy. Why do you even have an interest in marrying this man? He clearly has no ambition, and pretty obvious contempt for women and marriage. People do tend to have emotional responses to Pre-nups. But as someone who has been divorced, let me tell you- They are a GOOD thing. Especially if, as in your situation, you have FAR more than he does. If you were to get married a
    6 points
  36. So you are bi polar and admittedly treated the people you love and love you like crap on several occasions and got a pass but when your gf has issues and doesn't do things right she needs what exactly? Punishment? Taught a lesson? Break up? It would seem you have been given a lot of grace, perhaps you could learn from them. You are choosing to stay mad about this because it validates you. At what point is it enough? You can easily get over this and work it out together as soon as you accept that you like having this over her. Once admitted then the problems can be addressed
    6 points
  37. He is abusing you and your child in your own country, in your own home where he has no rights and no standing. Imagine for a moment what he will do to you and your child if you ever move to his country where he does have rights and power and you have nothing...... Please drop the "he is a father of my child" nonsense. He is a sperm donor and an abuser. He isn't just abusing you, he is also abusing an infant. Do you have any idea what damage it does to a child to see their mother in tears and distress sceam-singing because some psychopath is forcing her to? OP....stress kills. I can'
    6 points
  38. Stop and think about this a little. You have sole custody of the child. That is a very good thing. He is not a resident of your country nor does he have a visa. That is a very good thing. He does not work and cannot support a child. That is a very good thing as far as a court letting him have any kind of contact other than visitation. You have proof of his controlling and threatening personality. That is a very good thing. You are not married to him. That is a gigantically good thing. When you look at it this way I am sure you can see that you hold all the c
    6 points
  39. I remember when someone asked me when my wife and I would try and have a child. I told them "when we can afford it" and they laughed and said "If you wait until you can afford it you will never have kids" Guys think differently than women. Simple fact. He is thinking as a provider and you are thinking as a nester. Do you work? Do you have a joint savings account for the wedding? Getting engaged is a promise of marriage so he should at least be able to make that promise, if he cannot then you do need to reevaluate the future with him. The size of the ring doesn't matter doe
    6 points
  40. My guess is she's got a crush on someone (who she considers a "thug") and since he's got her motored up, she wants you to be more like him. In other words, I would not be surprised if you found out there is another guy in her mind. I don't necessarily mean she is cheating, but she I highly doubt she's randomly developed this attraction to thugs out of nowhere - especially considering it appears to be quite different from the man she's known a long time. Having said that, it is beyond frustrating to have to ask someone several times to get something done. It shouldn't take "needing"
    6 points
  41. It took me almost a month to finally test negative after contracting Covid in early December. So glad you will be seeing your kids! I will be seeing mine tomorrow 🙂
    6 points
  42. I just keep saying what I was saying.
    6 points
  43. Phew, my test is negative. Longest 3 days ever.
    6 points
  44. We don't. We aren't there. But the fact that she's acknowledging things is a great sign. I don't think we are that good., lol I think her therapist has helped get this far. Maybe we participated in a little push she needed. That's all. My experience is so similar. I was an abusive marriage. Going to therapy with a great therapist, but at the same time participating in an emotional abuse forum and hearing womens stories so similar to mine gave me the reinforcement I needed. I remember telling my therapist I was mad at him for not coming right out and telling me. He point
    6 points
  45. No porn? This smacks of someone who's been doing way too much porn and is now so desensitised, physically and mentally, that they can't get off at all unless their partner is acting out the scenes they've viewed. Sex is supposed to be about pleasure. There's no pleasure in something that makes you retch and tear up. Why are you allowing yourself to be abused like this?
    6 points
  46. Please. Yes, he does. He just wants you to do it anyway. Tell him you're game if he'll deep-throat a large cucumber that you control, every time he expects you to do this. Actually, you know what? I'd be so turned off by him and his attitude about all of this, I'd leave him to deep-throat the cucumber to his heart's content while I found a man who actually respected me.
    6 points
  47. talk to a therapist for your unhealthy attachment towards a person who doesnt care about you. if you dont set up some standards for yourself all these bozos will keep creepin into your life and mess with your health. This is only a wake up call, your self worth and esteem is at a very low, get that confidence back by getting involved in some positive stuff like setting some new goals for yourself, learning a new skill , taking good care of yourself & family and one day just like that you will be free from all this.
    6 points
  48. Wishing a Merry Christmas to all! 🎄🎅
    6 points
  49. You gave away all your hearts and I did not get even one?! I adjusted the limits.
    6 points
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