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Showing content with the highest reputation on 09/24/2021 in Posts

  1. It is about time. This guy is a con artist, grifter and gaslighter. I hope you have deleted and blocked him on everything so you won't be tempted to talk to him again. Go back to your other threads in a few days and read what you wrote about this guy, I think you will wonder why you wasted so much time on him. Good on you but please learn from this encounter or it will happen again. There are a lot more liars and cheaters out there looking for an easy mark. Lost
    2 points
  2. You need to understand that when an ex reaches out, it's not about you, it's all about THEMSELVES. He apologised to make HIMSELF feel better. He contacted you to see whether you are still pining for him to make HIMSELF feel better i.e. He reaches out to make HIMSELF feel better about whatever guilt or void in his life is troubling him and once he feels better he disappears because at the end of the day he doesn't want to be with you, he just wants you there still available as plan B if all else fails. He just hasn't found YET someone more interesting to occupy his mind with. You need to stop taking this kind of contact seriously and focus on the new person you have been seeing, the one who IS interested in you NOW and not in some vague timeline that may never happen and more importantly focus on the one who hasn't OPTED to abandon you and broken your trust. Once they have treated you as disposable they are liable to do it again and again (which is why it's a bad idea to take an ex who has dumped you back). It's YOUR responsibility to protect yourself from being jerked around. The reasons they reach out and then disappear are always selfish and a sign that you should write them off as unreliable flakes and stop allowing them back into your life. Good luck.
    1 point
  3. That's the right attitude to have, and I hope you hang on to it. From what you described, your relationship is extremely unstable and very toxic. I know it hurts, but I think you need to say good bye. Then you should look into why you are having mental breakdowns.
    1 point
  4. OP you there? Do you want him back out of fear of being alone? If so you really have been alone for some time haven't you? Lost
    1 point
  5. I have no idea. What's your barrier to the better accreditation? Can you accept the lower while working toward the higher?
    1 point
  6. Sorry this happened. Of course he's still talking to his on/off GF and felt guilty kissing etc. Delete and block him from all your social media and messaging apps. Why waste time on flakes? The "not ready to date" excuse is rubbish because why else would he be on dating sites?
    1 point
  7. Why did you move in together? Did you both have the same intentions and goals? Was it for convenience, to plan on getting married soon, something else? I am not into interior design at all and totally get your dream of wanting to decorate your place. But it's not your place -you share it with him. I think lots of couples are hating the close quarters issues with covid. My husband and I both teleworked before covid but not 100% of the time, and not with a child in virtual school till a few months ago. In a two bedroom apartment. But he knows my "quirks" - like I need my space when I take my lunch break (I just want to eat, stare at a screen and not chat - yes I went out to eat regularly pre covid but with a child etc I now became more of an introvert/need my space when I can get it), and he is a night owl who sleeps in (works late into the night) even though myself and my son are up before 7:15 - 6 for me. We also worked out stuff re the kitchen because it's small. Two people can fit but if I'm making dinner for myself, our son, etc I am hangry usually and need to move around freely -again, a space issue. We communicate about certain needs, do trial/error other needs but we do love each other very much, we are very committed to each other and our marriage and family, so we make a concerted effort not to escalate small stuff at all and to not argue about big stuff in an inappropriate way. But yes I can't just leave and get some air with covid so I do think you have to take that into account. Snoring. I'm going to say something really really unpopular but it's more popular than you think. No not ear plugs unless they work for you (they don't for me - but you might want to try!). My husband snores. It's gotten better over the years at points. But when I was a sleep deprived mom of a toddler ten years ago I'd just had it. I was done being sleep deprived by his snoring -for me personally I couldn't function and was in my mid 40s so I couldn't do the soldier through the day on no sleep -especially with a toddler. And I was irritable and frustrated and resentful and sleeping on the sofa middle of the night so much of the time- disturbed sleep and insomnia from the fear that his snoring would wake me/not let me sleep. He wouldn't do the sleep study, nothing. So many years ago we started sleeping in separate rooms -and he liked it because I go to bed early and he goes to bed very late -and he'd also wake me by coming in. Yes, we're married, yes we love each other, yes we have a sex life and yes I would have completely lost it had we not done the separate rooms thing -physically and psychologically. Yes many many couples do this despite it being stigmatized. Yes, certain couples do this because the marriage is over/ending/not good. Honestly even with a CPAP machine etc I'm not sure if I could sleep with the sound of that. When we go on vacation I often lose lots of sleep in the same room. I realize you have a small flat - you don't have a child so offer to sleep in the living room or get a trifold mattress (it folds up in three parts -super comfy and easy to store). Tell him it's not because you're not desiring him but you're getting very ill from the lack of sleep and irritable and cranky. I know I'm going against the grain but for us it's the only way I can function, he's happy too and he gets his physical annually so he can deal with any issues (he is only slightly overweight so I don't think that is it). Doing a sleep study is a big deal at least here -takes lots of time, the CPAP machine isn't for everyone and he's "just a boyfriend" -you're not married, no child so your leverage is much lower even than mine was. Stop nagging him -it won't' help IMO. I hope your adjustment gets better -all the best to you.
    1 point
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