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Showing content with the highest reputation since 04/07/2021 in all areas

  1. He doesn’t have to “ mature “ . You can be entirely mature and not want children. You made a mistake In not believing when he told you in the beginning he didn’t want kids. This is not something to compromise on. If you want kids you need to divorce.
    7 points
  2. Sorry to hear this. After a few dates, unfortunately he was crystal clear about how he feels. You need to believe him and accept that not every dating situation works out. He's not "the one", if he just wants to be friends.
    7 points
  3. You need to ask yourself what you see in such a rude, demeaning little punk. Seriously, why are you still even giving this guy the time of day, much less explaining yourself to him? He is not a good person. I would have launched this weasel into the stratosphere by now, and long since blocked his number. You need to ask yourself why you haven't.
    7 points
  4. Please just delete his number and don't ever reach out or text him anything again. You've already texted him enough, including telling him that just ghosting you like that was uncalled for. There really comes a point where you have to accept that silence IS communication and what it communicates is that the person you are contacting doesn't wish to talk to you or be a part of your life anymore. Telling someone who doesn't care that they hurt your feelings isn't going to make them care. He knows what he did and meant to do it because that was convenient for him. He is showing you again and
    7 points
  5. This is not how healthy relationships function, OP. You can't make anyone buy you things, nor should you. That is plain entitled. if he isn't the type to keep his word on treating you, you end it. You don't try to force him to do things he isn't naturally interested in doing.
    7 points
  6. OK first of all, break ups don't fix relationships. You split up because you weren't getting along and weren't able to effectively address the issues between you. What he or you did while you were single is not something you can hold over his head. He was right to seek to move on since you were broken up. Since you both got back together, it doesn't sound like you have taken any real time to actually address what really lead up to the first break up. Instead, you are now fixated on punishing him for what he did when he was single and before giving this another chance. Problem is that
    6 points
  7. Agree. Also given that you met him recently I’d focus on talking in person or by phone and not send political videos even if funny to you. You don’t know him well enough. I’d do this next time too. I think he’s a real gentleman telling you why he doesn’t want to date you anymore. I wouldn’t do the friendship thing in this situation. Please don’t assume whether he’s available or not. You barely know him and you’re not his mother or therapist. He simply is not that into you.
    6 points
  8. I have contacted a help line and got some resources.
    5 points
  9. It wouldn’t even be a matter of her feeling like you chose your abusive a-hole husband, you are choosing and have chosen him. Your daughter is frightened and gone. Your husband is happy he got what he wants and you stuck by him. If you get rid of him now, you may be able to undo the damage to yours and your daughter’s bond. Keep that guy around for much longer then she may never forgive you, even if you do manage to leave him at some point down the road. As a mother myself, I can’t even conceive of the thought of my child in distress. Feeling afraid and alone. That would just break my hea
    5 points
  10. Just as you send any other thank you note.... Thank you for attending my baby shower and your lovely gift. I'm glad you could be with us.
    5 points
  11. He is only 34 and already has been married and divorced twice??? Nothing about this raises a massive red flag for you? You do realize that going off and immediately "falling in love" with the other woman is very consistent here right? Ditto for inability to keep a job and otherwise be stable. Please put down the hope crack pipe. This guy is a walking personality disorder and there are no cures for that. Normal people can change and improve, disordered people cannot and do not. They are born that way and they will die that way because you cannot rewire their brain. It's literally wired dif
    5 points
  12. Not a solid marriage, then. I wouldn't move in with one of your daughters. There can only be one queen bee in the hive. However, I would find a low cost rental in Florida for you to live in. There are people who rent out mother-in-law suites or air b n b's that would probably be cheaper than an apartment. For a vacation, I stayed in an air bnb that had an entryway from the person's garage and they lived upstairs. It was a cute little space with bed and bath. You could tell your husband he can visit whenever he's making deliveries in FL. You get to regularly see your family and go to the beach.
    5 points
  13. It takes two to make a couple, not just one person that is sure. He didn't ghost you and was upfront so take him at his word. Don't be his friend either, that will just hurt you in the long run. Will he regret his choice? Maybe but it is his to make who he dates. Keep looking and don't dwell on this guy. I am sure there have been guys that were really into you and you just weren't feeling it. That is why we date... Lost
    5 points
  14. He didn't change his mind "suddenly". He dated you to see if he would like a relationship with you. It didn't work out and he was kind enough to tell you. That's the process. Move on.
    5 points
  15. Back in the summer of 2009, I did a semester abroad in Italy. We started out in Rome for two weeks, stopped off in Naples for a day or two, and then spent the remaining 6 weeks or so in Siena. Even though we were only in Naples for a brief amount of time, I have a couple really good memories of the place. The first is travelling by metro up to Castel Sant'Elmo, and then walking down the switchback roads through the little neighborhood on the side of the hill to return to the city via Spaccanapoli. The second memory is of these dogs that I met outside of the Museo Archeologico Naziona
    5 points
  16. Why are you hanging on to a relationship that makes you feel "crazy"? My point is that when you meet the right guy, you will fee safe, secure, comfortable and easily on the same page with each other. Communication is easy and how the other person feels about you is clear. What you have here is a relationship that has always been on edge, distant, questionable. So why do you hang on? You cannot count on someone changing. A good clue that you should move on is the fact that you feel insecure and crazy instead of feeling safe and secure. Imo, you should have let this go a long time
    5 points
  17. I’m baffled you are more concerned about what happens to him as opposed what this can do to you. I would break up and seek out legal advise. What he did doesn’t deserve any ounce of empathy. He can say how he wants to show you off all he wants but what right does that give him? This was without your consent.
    5 points
  18. Unfortunately, as long as you accommodate him, the more he'll do it. Nagging hasn't help, so there's no "conversation" to approach. This is disrespect and procrastinating is passive-aggressive to stick it to you and monopolize your time. It's a form of control. It's a form of arrogance. The approach is simple. Do not make plans with him. Do not wait or change your schedule for him. If he's more than 15-20 min late cancel. If he calls with some excuse about the bathroom his relatives whatever, tell him it's off. Actions speak louder than words. And the best words ri
    5 points
  19. Nailed it. He doesn't want to lose his cook, maid, emotional crutch. You are confusing "protective" with "controlling." He doesn't want other guys around you not because he is in love with you, but because he doesn't want to lose all the benefits you offer him. He isn't leading you on, though. He has been clear he doesn't want to date you. Yet, you stick around. You are doing this to yourself at this point. At some point, you have to ask yourself where your your self-respect disappeared to.
    5 points
  20. Telling her that you are concerned and upset was OK. Calling her reckless is where you stepped too far and essentially insulted her. So in that aspect you are absolutely in the wrong and got a reaction that was warranted. Don't push conflict to where you start name calling your partner even if it's just "reckless". As you can see, it doesn't lead to resolutions but rather escalates conflict. Now she is rightfully angry with you and this conflict is no longer about your covid agreement, but rather how you are talking to her.
    5 points
  21. Never put your life on hold for some guy you don't really know. Move on. Take time for yourself and in time you will be ready to date. I don't think you are there yet.
    5 points
  22. I think you're setting yourself up for failure in a way. First of all, your previous marriage shouldn't be a consideration in any future relationship. You are now in a completely different relationship. Your first marriage has nothing to do with your new partner. If you are afraid of being screwed over, it's because you don't trust yourself and your own decision-making process. And maybe you shouldn't trust yourself because Second of all, you're minimizing the impact of cultural differences and culture shock. You can't just expect someone to shed their upbringing and their past, no m
    5 points
  23. buck up mister and just ask her out. You don't NEED another "moment". If you wait, some other guy will catch her attention and scoop her away. Right now she's not very impressed so you better step on it.
    5 points
  24. I don't think you are overreacting. I think you are probably overstaying, though. It shouldn't be such a struggle to get what you want in a relationship.
    5 points
  25. Tonight she texted me when she was out front and told me and M to hop in the car. She took us for for dinner(curbside, naturally. Lol) and ice cream. Her and M had a very detailed and nerdy conversation about how ice cream machines work in the car. When we got home, she brought me all his “nighttime meds” stuff and I took care of that while she fixed her lunch for tomorrow. Grandma is visiting a bit so he’s watching tv with her. This is how we used to be. So much had changed and there were so many life stressors, we just need to find our way back to these things in our new no
    5 points
  26. You could pick a number, say $1000 as the amount you want him to spend on you. Don't give him any sex until he reaches the number. If he asks why you're holding out say that he hasn't bought you enough stuff. You could partially reward him, say with a handjob if he spends $125 and oral if he reaches 50% of the target amount of required purchases. Remember there's a calculator app on most smartphones to make the process easier. Don't forget to save those receipts!
    5 points
  27. She has lied and cheated on you. You are having to play detective in your relationship. This is toxic and has no future. She has shown you that she cannot be trusted, stop making excuses. "I told her early on and have reminded her since that cheating is something I'd absolutely not tolerate" What happened to this? You will look back on this and wonder where esteem went.
    5 points
  28. Finally got offer. It's better than I expected. I told them I'd let them know on Monday, but I'm 99.999% sure I'll laccept. Goin out to celebrate.... 🎉
    5 points
  29. So you allowed video games to be more important than your marriage/family and when she complained you ignored her feelings. Then when she was fed up and left your knee jerk reaction was to tell her you want a divorce. At what point did you decide she was more important than video games? After she started having sex with other men? This was all very fixable long before she got fed up and checked out but you ignored the problem. This is the easy part of your issues. The big problem you have is your ego is hurt because she had sex with more people than you did while you were apar
    5 points
  30. See what you need to do legally to evict him. Then follow the legal process. If he threatens suicide call 911. They will send professionals to get him the help he needs. Also be sure to seek and follow legal advice regarding custody and visitation. In fact, I recommend you file a temporary custody order in court giving you full physical and legal custody in case he decides to take off with the child (which as her father he can legally do!) Do that asap. You can do this. It's not fun and no one enjoys it, but you'll come out of it fine.
    4 points
  31. You're not wrong. Your boyfriend revealed his true colors to you. Now you know his real unsavory character. Unfortunately, "love doesn't pay the rent." Many times, whenever money or lack thereof is involved, relationships are tested and unfortunately, relationships go down the drain. I'm sorry. You're better off without him.
    4 points
  32. Blame shifting and gaslighting are standard fare for these types of people, as is presenting themselves as the victim. That's what makes their behavior so confusing and difficult to see through, especially so when you are an empathetic person. They are also very good at engaging and manipulating others around them to support their toxic behavior. This is why it's not recommended to go to any type of couples counseling with these types. They can fool therapists and manipulate them as a weapon against you. Rather than focusing on him, realize that one of the biggest tell tale signs that you
    4 points
  33. Starting Thursday, hubby will be off 5 weeks and we'll have made it through this difficult studying phase! Thank God!!! Phew!!!!
    4 points
  34. People do not abuse all the time or no one would stick around. If it occurs more than once, it is abuse. You need to educate yourself on abuse in relationships.
    4 points
  35. I would not be able to date someone who was this disrespectful of my time. There is no excuse that. It would also make seriously question his true interest in you. He seems pretty nonchalant about your relationship. Time to re-think this whole thing, in my opinion.
    4 points
  36. Sorry to hear this. I can't imagine your pain. I know many people would disagree, but speaking for myself only, I would pack his bags and show him the door and tell him he is now free and welcome to go find someone else to **** (but like I say, that's just me). Remember, once someone shows you their true colours, and their total disrespect for you and your relationship, that's your sign of what you can expect in your future with them. Also, you will never trust him fully again and without trust, you have nothing. I'm sorry this happened to you.
    4 points
  37. No wonder dating is so hard for people anymore. Why don’t you decide if you like him based on your experience with him instead of developing preconceived notions based off of some random internet search? I swear, the internet has killed humanity.
    4 points
  38. I think marrying him would be a HUGE mistake. You've actually met him in real life only once! And you got plenty of proof that you basically didn't even know the real him because he'd been lying to you the whole time. Don't trust anyone who lies and hides things from you straight away. People that blatantly lie may have more things to hide. Trust me, I know because I've had the same thing happen to me. Why are you trying to date a guy so far away from you? Can't you meet guys that you can date in real life?
    4 points
  39. Let her cool down a little first. Then apologize for calling her reckless. She didn't hide any information from you so all you had to do was tell her since she was around so many people you are not comfortable seeing her until some time has passed just to be safe. You decide what is best for you and she decides what is best for herself. Was she reckless? To you yes she was but to her she wasn't. You cannot control her nor should you try. Let her be who she is and if that person is not compatible with you then end the relationship. Don't try and mold her into something she is
    4 points
  40. Why is it laughable? You are in the US. I'm in Australia. Here we have only 21 million people in the whole actual country. Australia population wise is a very small country. Actually I am very much in the dating scene and I will agree with you that it's not going well. However I won't comment fully yet because I've only really been single for 1.5 years and I haven't been dating constantly which was due to the COVID pandemic lockdown that lasted nearly a year. I have been going on quite a few dates pre lockdown and since as well, which has been since last November. During lockdown I actually wa
    4 points
  41. Don't make excuses for "being drunk". End it. You're unhappy and she's a floozy.
    4 points
  42. What does "taking it slow" mean and why "take it slow" -if she is single and you are why not just go on dates and take things at a reasonable pace? What I would slow down is how you are reacting - feeling excited is normal. I'd react by recognizing that its because you feel you won the prize, at least in part. Date her at a reasonable pace and keep your feet on the ground even if your head is in the clouds. Also a drink is fine and I'd stay sober on these dates.
    4 points
  43. Sarcasm is the primary language in New Jersey. English is the second language. Spanish is probably third, but there might be others.
    4 points
  44. This is really disturbing - be honest with yourself. You feel entitled to be treated to material gifts from your boyfriend. Material gifts make you happy just like chocolate milk makes my son happy too. Nothing at all to do with fancy love languages. You like when people buy stuff for you. Of course he knows how to be romantic -he just doesn't feel like it and he senses that you're trying to manipulate him into buying you stuff because it's romantic. Huge turn off and it triggers my Ick Factor (which is far far more authoritative than any love language that translates too "I like getting
    4 points
  45. So do I have this right? He buys you things and in exchange you completely forgive him for the "horrible" (your word) way he broke up with you? If he does something "horrible" in the future should he make up for it by buying you something? That's a transactional relationship, BTW. As for how to "make" him to buy you things? You can simply pick something out at a store and tell him "either you buy me this or I won't forgive you for breaking up with me in a horrible way". Be honest about your expectations so he knows what's up.
    4 points
  46. If he cannot get over your past, then he's right to let you go. Yes, it was inappropriate of you to deliberately provoke jealousy in him by comparing him to your exes. No question. But, it appears you've tried to make ammends for that and have addressed these issues. It's also been 7 years, so it's a rather long time for him to hang on to this resentment if it bothered him that much. He should have left before now. But honestly? My guess is that he's using this as an excuse to cover the fact that he appears to have met someone else and is exploring that now.
    4 points
  47. I don't know why you'd want to be with someone who sounds like a rebellious 12 year old boy, too immature to step up to help when you asked for something reasonable. And he shouldn't need asking to begin with. Team players do their fair share. His words of love are meaningless. His actions or lack of them speaks otherwise. And you act like a doormat--asking for someone to return who treats you like this. Clearly you're lacking in self esteem and subconsciously believe you deserve no better. You do, but you need to work on improving your self worth, or you will continue a pattern
    4 points
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