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Showing content with the highest reputation on 03/27/2021 in all areas

  1. I think he needs to go. Find out the rules of eviction in your area and work to that end. Of course nobody should keep anybody up all night.
    2 points
  2. I'm sorry that you're going through such a tough time. But I agree with Wiseman that you're setting yourself up for even more disappointment by expecting a specific reaction from somebody who is not a trained mental health professional. I might have interpreted his reaction as a kind offer of companionship during your time of crisis. Perhaps it might have been more convenient if he offered to come to your place. In either case, it seems the sentiment was there. But you know him best, and that leads to my next question: If this is the kind of person he is, why in the world di
    2 points
  3. Oh, OP. This is so sad to read. What you call sefless and loyal and unconditionally loving? It's actually more like enabling, codependent and approval-seeking. It is terribly unhealthy to "love" this way, especially for some guy who does not treat you well or respect you. It isn't noble to give and give and give to people who wipe their feet on you. It's a sign that something is dysfunctional about your perception of love and partnerhship. This was a toxic, lopsided relationship that never should have gotten off the ground. Red flags right from the beginning when he started emotion
    2 points
  4. She moved out. That doesn't say "indecisive" to me. You're going back and forth between "She's my unicorn! I want her back!" and "She's a lying cheater! I despise her!" This is why I think it's good she's getting the rest of her belongings and that you won't be there. You can finally begin the moving on process.
    2 points
  5. Yes, you can put that spin on it. Here's another scenario. She was unhappy in the relationship whether she knew it or not. While she was in that state of doubt/limbo she became friendly with a person who then sparked her. She was in complete control of her choices as to how to interact with him and if he was interested in her too then of course he would flirt back. She then made the choice to leave the relationship and not just because of him - he was not the reason but illustrated for her what was going on - if she could react in that strong way to another person then she had to consider
    2 points
  6. I think what he said was pretty cruel and he should not have said that. My guess is he was looking for someone to have sex with and he would have with you but he didnt want to end up in a relationship with you so he said his unkind comment. Going back to his ex should be enough for you to let this go. Yes men can have sex with women they dont find attractive because they are horny, that is nothing new.
    1 point
  7. Same here! Diet makes a huge difference in how I feel on any given day. and it definitely helps me to eat better because I don't want to feel like poop.
    1 point
  8. Don’t try and figure this man out . He is a cheating .... He is sleezy. Never let him back into your life.
    1 point
  9. Cherlyn! This is so true. Not everyone wants to get healthy. I was in a store today. When I walked in there was a couple looking at the weekly specials flyer. I only noticed them because they were in the doorway and I thought it was cute how intently they were reading the circular together. A few minutes later, I hear them in the candy isle. And he was asking her very serious questions about what which candy they were gonna get and what was her favorite. It was so sweet. They know what they like and they picked it together. Calories be damned!! 🙂 Meanwhile I was like NOO
    1 point
  10. Congratulations on getting healthy and for your weight loss! 🙂 I think you'll attract men who are also fit and healthy which is more relatable to those who practice same health habits and lifestyle. As for weirdos and undesirable men, they're from all walks of life, unfortunately. 🙁 You'll have to continue weeding out the bad apples and shop around. As with men and woman, regardless of gender, most people are looking for "package deals" meaning not just healthy people in general but everything such as education, career, income, personality, characteristic traits, integr
    1 point
  11. 40 pounds! That's an amazing accomplishment. Good work! Not necessarily. There will always be stalkers, perverts, negative-nellies, and naysayers, no matter what your weight or what you look like. This is the key right here: Losing weight will help you feel better about yourself mentally and physically. But it's not the silver bullet to inner peace. That's another journey, but it's one that you can start taking right now!
    1 point
  12. Congratulations. It's great you are setting goals, seeing some success and that sense of pride. You're doing what's best for you and well, that's what's best for you. I think it's only natural to want to attract better partners. Especially, when we had some duds. What kind of suggestions are you looking for? If you want to lose a certain amount of weight before you put yourself out there, that's cool. If you put yourself out and say you are looking for someone in a similar situation. You know, someone more focused on starting a healthy lifestyle, weight management and working out t
    1 point
  13. This crappy character is not worth the loss of your life, OP. I agree with everything the other posters have said. You hang so much of your self worth and self esteem on what others think. Rather than making yourself proud and measuring yourself against your own standards, you’re measuring yourself by the standards someone else has placed on you. I don’t care what kind of life your ex came from as a child, it isn’t permission to treat others disrespectfully and, as an adult, he is well aware of what is hurtful to others and what isn’t. He said what he said to hurt you because he wanted you to
    1 point
  14. I don't think anyone is discrediting the way that you feel. However, I do think you are focusing on the wrong thing at the moment: the response of a person who you have an iffy relationship with at best, and who has a demonstrated history of seeming somewhat insensitive to your troubles. Instead, focus on getting yourself a good support system. Post here if it helps. Focus your energy on getting yourself back on track emotionally. Don't allow yourself to ruminate on this one-off situation with an acquaintance who was in all likelihood caught off-guard by your confession. It will jus
    1 point
  15. Non-professionals generally don't know how to respond to these kind of things. I told my brother and my nephew about when I was seriously planning my suicide (due to the absolutely wrong anti-depressant being prescribed to me which caused suicidal thoughts). I told them I actually wrote out a list. My nephew responded with "Like a bucket list?" And I slowly said "Noooo...like a do this do that before I commit suicide list. Things like unlock the door and make sure my cat has plenty of food and water." And my brother chirped "So, an ANTI-BUCKET LIST!!!" Yes, at the time I felt it
    1 point
  16. I'm confused about why you aren't comfortable sharing this with family and friends but felt comfortable sharing it with someone who called you "crazy" in the past and who stood you up. I would say his reaction was kinder than what I would have expected under the circumstances, but obviously wasn't what you wanted. What do you feel would have been an appropriate, kindly response? I hope you are feeling better now.
    1 point
  17. I truly appreciate it. I know that's where my mind was and we have had a phenomenal marriage I guess I will chop it up as an honest mistake. Thanks so much still very hard but I think I am gonna be fine. I wish I can hug you man
    1 point
  18. Telling you honestly and sincerely that she is unhappy and why, leaving the house, moving out, organizing her move, etc.. all reveal that she finally is getting better....and that's why she left. Yet, you are the one ruminating, rapidly flipflopping with love, hate, jealousy, rage, unicorns, demons, etc. So...? Where are your family and friends in all this?
    1 point
  19. I would be ok without a roommate, which is where I'm petty sure I will be soon. He's a disabled vet, so it's a pension. He currently says he can't drive, so that's out anyway. He has cut himself off from all family and friends of the past; he chooses to not seek VA mental health or alcohol abuse. He is a much different person than when he first arrived here. He gets me very upset, and tells me I'm crazy. I really need someone to agree with me that this is not right....Thank you for your input, it is much appreciated.
    1 point
  20. Sorry this happened. You dodged a bullet. He seems like an abusive creep. Is this the same man?:
    1 point
  21. I'll share something else. My ex husband said something similar except he said it to me. I think his exact words were "You'll be back. You won't last five minutes without me. You don't know how to take care of anything on your own." Well, it's been nearly 21 years. So yeah, a lot longer than five minutes. He had a vision of me inside his head, that I was a woman who was overly emotional and an irresponsible spender. He thought if anything came up I would just flounder, dither and flutter my hands helplessly, looking around for someone (him) to bail me out. Know what th
    1 point
  22. Have you dated before? Choosing someone who is very young, incompatible, and feeding you a bunch of bull about loving and wanting to marry you. You don't even know this guy. I don't get it?! The dude wants sex. That's it.
    1 point
  23. Don't dump someone and expect that they will beg you, "fight for you" etc.
    1 point
  24. I wasn't indecisive when I filed for divorce and moved out with the kids. Did I have some feelings about it? You betcha. I was essentially breaking up our family. I was no longer part of a "nuclear" family. My kids wouldn't see their dad every day. They cried, my husband cried, I cried. But I didn't cry because I wanted to be with him as his wife. I cried because when we married this was not what I'd envisioned. I cried for what we were all losing. But I still followed through because I felt it was the right thing for us. I'm willing to bet your ex didn't envision your relations
    1 point
  25. Maybe I'm right? I'd bet money I'm right! He's looking to get laid. You need to be much more alert and skeptical of what guys tell you. The age gap is too big, he sounds incredibly immature.
    1 point
  26. What you're telling him and what you actually want don't match up. You do want the label but you told him you're ok without it. You told him you want actual dates and then agree to yet another "Netflix and chill" at his house. You felt comfortable enough to remove your clothing and have sex with him. So why don't you feel comfortable enough to tell him what you really want? Are you trying to be the "cool chick"? If so, why? Are you afraid of "scaring him off"?
    1 point
  27. He is 8 years younger than me. He is 25. I am 33. Maybe you are right. He was just trying to sleep with me using smooth talking and manipulating.
    1 point
  28. So is he 8 and you are 16? Good grief! You two don't know each other! He is not in love with you because he doesn't know you! Lust maybe, love no. Calling you baby, sweetheart etc. means nothing other than he's heard those words. before. Dont be so naive. How old are you two actually?
    1 point
  29. My honey got his official course photo. 💕 He looks so handsome.
    1 point
  30. So you are seeing your weaknesses which is good. I am not one of those guys that gushes over a woman and throws out a bunch of compliments trying to get her to date me. I do compliment but I don't over do it since I want any woman I am interested in to choose me because she is genuinely interested in me, not just flattered by all the attention. Be on guard for guys that over do anything. Here are a few things that might help you find the guy you are looking for. Is he humble or a bragger? If his profile has pictures of his "stuff" (cars, boats, house, expensive clothes, expensive tri
    1 point
  31. She's not dumb or naive, I think she knows exactly what she's doing and she enjoys if. She's a bartender, of course she gets guys hitting on her and she knows it's not just as friends. I think she actually really enjoys all the guys' attention and she knows very well what she's doing. Another strong sign of that is that she's deleting conversations, so she has something to hide. I personally wouldn't continue dating her because I think she doesn't really respect your relationship. It's one thing just to speak to guys at work because it's her job. But adding all these guys to social media is ve
    1 point
  32. I heard about that. I’ve also seen some real world studies about the efficacy of one dose only after several months, which looked promising. My cousin called me in a panic tonight. His buff, smart ass cop self whispered in the phone “i screwed up. I didn’t go for my second shot. I got scared! There were 2 officers down!” Me: “what do you mean, down?” “One had 103 degree fever and the other was off for 2 days!!” 😂😂 i pulled the phone away from my ear and just stared at it for a minute, then I cracked up. I was like, sooo...you mean to tell me...your 71 year old aunt was
    1 point
  33. She's being very honest with you. She's very busy and not interested in investing time, energy and money into a relationship with you. You need to follow her cue by backing off. I admire her honesty. At least she's not deceitful and what you see is what you get. At least she is not insincere. I've known plenty of people who pretend to take interest in you yet they have no intentions whatsoever when it comes to nurturing, cultivating and maintaining a relationship or friendship. Don't pursue her because you like her more than she likes you. This is already unbalanced and lopsided so
    1 point
  34. I think I feel keenly like a shadow because I feel I have been helping to hold someone up since I have been 4 years old . That is when I realized my dad was mentally ill and my mom needed someone and it wasn’t going to be him. Sometime later when my mom was moving up the corporate ladder I was her back up as my dad was openly tried to sabotage her. I was even employed to do corporate spying to help her by rooting out info at other company’s national meetings . My husband ,he never had a cheerleader. He once me in a moment of emotional intimacy that I am his only true friend and the o
    1 point
  35. My beasts and my sweet boy I had to put down.
    1 point
  36. You aren't interested in being her friend and only her friend if you're hoping she actually "likes" you and will decide to date you sometime in the future. That's what my guy friend did; hung around thinking I would change my mind and date him. He brought it up every so often and like I said before, it was annoying because I'd already said no. Don't be dishonest with yourself or with her. It serves no one.
    1 point
  37. I agree with you. In my opinion, you should be persistent (but not a pest). Speaking for myself, I find it attractive when a guy shows consistent interest but is not pushy. Especially in the beginning, when we are just starting to get to know each other. To me, it says that he's confident enough to risk rejection (attractive), and not desperately needing my validation. Multi-dating can be a tricky thing to manage, because relationships move at different paces, and you want to be respectful of the people you are seeing. When a guy starts trying to push you into seeing him, it's very unappe
    1 point
  38. Avoid her. Since your BF knows the situation and knows when she will be invited to his parents, just do something else. With your friends, family or just you and your BF. Why do you have to go to his parents house anyway? Invite your BF to your home or out with your friends, etc. There's no way she can intimidate you or get in your face if you are not present when she is present. Plan ahead and avoid her.
    1 point
  39. I never said she would tell her who to have in her house! I said that she should remove HERSELF from that situation by never going to their home again. The Mother is a trip to ME because if anything she should be neutral, not get herself involved between the two girls by choosing to defend the bully. Instead of jumping to her defense, a normal woman who is a parent would have asked questions like "sounds like you two have a history. Care to tell me about it? I don't want anyone in my home to feel uncomfortable to the point they have panic attacks!" WHether it is your child or someone else's,
    1 point
  40. As stated, this girl is NOT the brother's girlfriend. I suspect she sought out this brother simply to create the drama that she is doing right now to break this couple up. She is in essence continuing to bully the OP in an underhanded passive aggressive way using the brother and "friendship" to get to her. The brother would be smart to tell the chick he knows what she is up to and to cease all contact with her. Their "friendship" is new and by aligning himself with this trainwreck he is showing a marked disloyalty to his own brother. The mother is a piece of work and full of shyt i
    1 point
  41. Firstly, I'm sorry you were bullied at school. That is terrible. Bullies look for people who can't speak or can't talk or have something different or wrong about them (supposedly "wrong") because they don't fit in. You have to leave that mindset behind and stop seeing yourself as a victim of the past because it's going to cost you more relationships if you keep thinking people ought to fight your battles for you or stick up for you. The world just doesn't do that so don't put that expectation out there like you're putting that expectation on his mother to make you the only guest in the house o
    1 point
  42. Are they real diamonds? How is a guy who can't afford car repairs, going to lure women with several pairs of diamond earrings into the back seat of your car for sex?
    1 point
  43. Not being able to trust this guy already doesn't bode well for the future. You moved in with him without really knowing him. Now you are dealing with the repercussions of that. Why can't you move back home?
    1 point
  44. Yes, this. Why did you rush so much, OP?
    1 point
  45. Another example of why it's best not to make major decisions like moving in with someone you barely know, in the honeymoon stage. It'll be a more difficult breakup when living together. More stressful. You have two choices. Stay and trust him until he proves otherwise, or break up. His work ethic sounds like it sucks. Many jobs regularly test for narcotics use, so even if it's occasional use, it could still be an issue work-wise. I'm assuming you've very young, so as an older person, I'd advise taking a potential partner's work ethic into account when choosing a life partner, or you will
    1 point
  46. Sorry this is happening. Can you move back home? 16 weeks is not enough tome to know about him or if he's on/off with an ex. cheating, etc. His stories don't add up. Does he have drug problems?
    1 point
  47. So your feelings have changed for your bf in the last 2 1/2 months. Let me guess you met this new "friend" about the same time? Do you want to be a cheater? You are already emotionally cheating and got very close to physically cheating. You are correct you are being a crappy person and a horrible gf. Don't disguise it or justify it, just face it head on that way you will not be kidding yourself or your bf. When he hears about this hand holding the lie you will tell him is "We are just friends" Cheaters tell this lie all the time. Why not get out in front of this before you h
    1 point
  48. Imo, you need to return your focus where it is really due. Your long-term relationship is in BIG trouble, to the point that you are shopping around for another man. Why is that and what are you missing? You need to sit down first with yourself and then with your current boyfriend and try to identify what is going on. Your current relationship is lacking communication and is heading to a nasty breakdown and the new guy is acting as a catalyst and as a distraction. Guilt is useless. Imo, you need to tell your boyfriend that the last couple of months have been very rough for you and discuss w
    1 point
  49. This is my guess, provided you've hang out with them or spoken to them for some time at a party, etc. - the women you meet aren't attracted to you. I'm not referring to the physical sense (though that is important to a degree as well), but personality or attitude wise something is missing for them to feel smitten by you. I remember, a long time ago this wonderful guy being totally into me. A good-looking gentleman who would've made a great boyfriend. But somehow something was missing. The best way I can explain that "something": connecting with someone on a similar level, like they '
    1 point
  50. Sure, but do NOT 'forget' what happened. Learn that when a guy isn't dating for the same reasons as you, it makes no sense to stick around trying to manipulate him. That's just an ego game, and it won't get her what she wants.
    1 point
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