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Showing content with the highest reputation on 02/20/2021 in all areas

  1. Well, I guess you could allow him to bounce back and forth between you and this alleged "OW" if you want. Maybe you and the "OW" could physically fight over him since he's such a prize. See how ridiculous this situation is? And BTW, the "OW" is not forcing herself on him. He thinks he's a stud who has two women hung up on him.
    4 points
  2. Yes. He's living his life. He's sleeping with other girls, including your best friend. He's living with her now. Yes, it does sound like he has a child. You were/are there whenever he needed sex or a place to stay. A convenience. He changed his number and stopped talking to you because you're no longer important in his life (sorry) .... unless he's looking for a convenient hook up when he's bored. Did you guys actually date? Were you actually in an exclusive relationship? Or was this just a friendship you had since high school?
    3 points
  3. Why do you believe you should even be around these people? What is this? Please do not talk to him, his friends, his "OW" or anyone associated to your ex. Surround yourself with people who are more respectful of you as a person and your wishes. This isn't a game about who can hold out longest or not answer calls the longest. If the end goal here is to win over your ex, especially this one, the answer is always No. No No No. None of this is good for you in the long term. Please stay away from these people.
    3 points
  4. I'm sorry, while I don't live in the EU so obviously have no experience there, but I don't understand why you're writing this long post and going on about all this. Complaining about your tax paying and whatever. We're not really interested in that sorry. I get the sense you have a problem with Russian people/women specifically. Just because she said she's Russian you're automatically calling her a mail order bride. Literally that's the only reason you are saying that, because she mentioned she's Russian. To me that seems racist and prejudiced. Yes it's true, there are Russian mail order bride
    3 points
  5. I spent 4 years with someone who had serious mental health challenges. I spent those 4 years increasingly walking on eggshells, censoring my views and thinking about how I might say perfectly normal things without them becoming aggressive. It was emotionally draining and it also drained me of the love I once had for them. I really can't see your situation getting any better and would suggest you cut your losses before it gets any worse for you.
    3 points
  6. I disagree that anyone should "expect sex". She's not a performing monkey or a paid sex worker. Aren't we always being told we can say no at any time? And the idea that I should announce my period so I can be excused from intercourse is, frankly, kind of ridiculous.
    3 points
  7. He just lost his mother. To him, 4 weeks, feels as if he lost his mother 4 seconds ago. Give him a lot of time and space. Unfortunately, it took me years to recover from losing my late father. Granted, it may not take that long for your boyfriend, however, remember he is bereft. His internal pain is beyond measure. He may or may not heal and recover on your timeline. Only time will tell regarding if your relationship with him will endure and survive. Continue backing off, give him a wide berth, act natural, be kind and patient. After weeks or months, you will determine if you
    2 points
  8. He hasn't changed, the truth hasn't changed so why even waste anymore time on this? If you need to be cheated on again by him before you finally accept he is a lying cheating jerk then by all means get back with him, listen to his lies, sleep with him (make him wear a condom!) and then wait and watch him cheat on you with his other gf. How does that sound? Does cutting him and all his friends out of your life sound better? You choose Lost
    2 points
  9. I'm going to guess that, in between the beatings and crazy behavior, the sex with this petite hottie is porn star level phenomenal. I can't tell you how many men friends have told me that sex with "crazy" is mind blowing. You need to decide if the sex is worth all you have to put up with in order to get it. And BTW, sane women can also be terrific in bed. And you don't run the risk of being jailed for DV.
    2 points
  10. Yes move on. It doesn't matter why he changed his mind. If you were the love of his life as he claimed he would even come to Moscow to live with you. He has a bit of maturing to do on his own. Not everyone matures at the same pace (speaking from personal experience lol)and generally women mature faster (relationship-wise).
    2 points
  11. You dont have to tell him! You didnt even know him when you got with your friend. It's none of his business what you did in your past. It's not lying, you are not obligated to tell anyone about your sexual past.
    2 points
  12. You can easily solve your problem by blocking and deleting him from all possible ways of contacting you. Why haven't you done this?
    2 points
  13. Oh, fps... WHY do you accept these games they play? He cheated on you? Lied to you? Drunk calls you? Emails you? Calls to talk via friends phone? (creep).. Then his OW grabs the phone? Wth 😞 DRAMA and ridiculous behaviour! And you want to be a part of this... Why? No thanks! Ignore him.... No contact. He can take his games elsewhere. No one needs this crap. HE needs to grow up... YOU need to find your inner strength and get rid of it all. See what you DO deserve. Which is not all of that.
    2 points
  14. Easy: Block this mutual 'friend' Filter your ex's emails directly to spam Hang up/delete without listening or reading if a call/text/email should come through. Why does that even matter? He cheated on you, lied to you, and dumped you like yesterday's trash. See what? That he's got you wrapped around his little finger? See yourself crawl back to a loser (again)? No!!!! He dumped you on your ass like a piece of garbage after 6 years, and has been jerking you around for the better part of a year. His time is over. Your time is now. Move yourself o
    2 points
  15. wow i see you have so much time to explain your problems) First of all , who said about citizenship and that I want it ? It would only give me access to Work market to be able to work for HIM and I didn't ask for proposal ,so I can't be happy and in love and want family just because some complexed people as you ,God only knows from where ,might judge me?I won't even spend the time to to read your whole poem . Just because you are from EU doesn't mean you are automatically have better life standard lol, EU is as different as Russia . I live in Moscow better than half of EU countries on social a
    2 points
  16. Ok. Delete and block him from all your devices, social media and messaging apps. There's no reason to allow these intrusions into your peace. Why leave the door open for intruders? You're in charge of who and what you allow into your mind.
    2 points
  17. Did you know that this mentality is promoting date-rape? Hopefully you understand that no one is entitled to sex.
    2 points
  18. Thanks wiseman. I shouldn’t analyse people so much in such a short amount of time. I’m far too sensitive methinks. A bit more reflection on what I’m willing to risk. As for my health in regards to COVID and stds, I’ve been tested recently and am all fine. take care, P
    2 points
  19. No where did I get the impression that she was seeking a visa. If anyone was taking advantage in this situation, it was him. This guy sounds like a big leech and she would have been financially responsible for him in the end. She has a lot more going on for her than he does.
    2 points
  20. I could be wrong but one theory I have is that he was just using you for sex but then he felt guilty about it for some reason. So he decided to just act platonic and not have sex because it relieved his guilt. Like, he was trying to prove to himself that he's a good guy who doesn't want to just use women for sex. If that's not the reason then to be honest I wouldn't keep seeing him if that was me. He sounds really weird! If you've already had sex twice then why backtrack and do the whole platonic thing? If he wanted to show that he wants you for more than just sex, he could have organised a ni
    2 points
  21. You can't. Once trust has been broken it's extremely hard to get it back and without trust, you have nothing. HE is the one who should be proving himself to you, but I can guarantee you, you will always wonder and always have doubt. That is not a recipe for a happy, healthy and successful relationship. The writing is already on the wall (imo). It's interesting to note that you posted about the exact same thing in December, struggling with trusting him. Two months later, nothing has changed. Does that not tell you something? Believe me, it's not magically going to disappear. Only
    1 point
  22. I'm so sorry for your loss. So the talk about marriage and children - were there any concrete actions towards getting married? Who wanted marriage more - you? Why are you referring to her as your MIL? I think for sure just give your boyfriend space -and certainly you can tell him that you know he is grieving and you feel surprised that he seems to be pushing you away and making plans that do not include you. That can happen but more often the person who is grieving turns to his partner for support, not away. I'm sorry.
    1 point
  23. Through to what? Finding out he's cheating on you again? And then what? Wait and see if he does it again? You've caught him hitting on other girls behind your back. God knows what else he was up to. If he cared at all about his relationship with you, he'd be extremely available from that point on. Not disappearing on you.
    1 point
  24. It's none of his business what you did or who you did it with. Let it go, and move forward.
    1 point
  25. Hi Vera, it's good to see another Eastern European here 🥰 I'm so sorry that this happened, but to be honest, this man doesn't seem to be husband material, I'm sure you deserve more - a man who will actually work. Hope you will feel better soon.
    1 point
  26. The past is what made you who you are. The good, the bad and everything in between. All he needs to know about your past is that you didn't do anything that could risk his health or safety. Let him get to know the person you are right now, not the person you used to be. It doesn't matter if it happened 2 months ago or 2 years ago. This isn't a lie by omission. The best way to ruin a budding relationship is to get diarrhea of the mouth and start talking about your past sexual encounters. You weren't even dating this girl, it was a one night stand. The fact that she is a good frien
    1 point
  27. I disagree with your assessment that she aroused him therefore owed him sex because he was aroused.. I also disagree with the language that was outlawed in courtrooms decades ago regarding men were aroused by women's behavior dress, etc. and therefore were "asking for it".
    1 point
  28. Textbook rebound. Research the term and the consequences of setting yourself up for it. Nobody who is rebounding will admit to it, or even necessarily KNOW that that's what they are doing. But most people who leapfrog into another relationship before stabilizing solo will have an eventual epiphany and give the same speech, "You are a wonderful person, but I really should have taken the time to be on my own to 'find myself'." That's why it's up to each of us to look out for ourselves rather than rely on someone else's lousy judgment. Divorces are crazy-making. Have you noticed? P
    1 point
  29. Lack of sleep on its own will mess with your mental health. I meditate regularly and it really helps with sleep. There are many apps and you tube channels out there to help. I think the trick is to find a guided one that you like the person's voice. That along with deep breathing exercises & positive affirmations, you'll get to a better mindset. This guy is hot and cold, in and out of a relationship. It took me a while to learn getting away from (blocking) people that make me feel a certain way is not mean or cruel to them. I don't hate them. I don't wish them ill. I simply have to
    1 point
  30. This is not a fine point. There's a big difference between telling someone that they have an entitled, destructive mentality and accusing them of raping someone. Come on.
    1 point
  31. Well I've hooked up with a few of my friends, mainly when I was drunk at parties. Some of my friends I've known for a very long time and hooked up when I was a lot younger. So I'm not really that eager to just volunteer this information personally. If I was asked though I would tell the truth. I suppose you could tell him but what if he felt uncomfortable and wanted you to stop hanging out with your female friend? Are you prepared to end the friendship? If you're not then telling your boyfriend about it would just jeopardise your friendship probably. Do you think you actually are bisexual? Or
    1 point
  32. Sorry to hear that. You're incompatible. She wants marriage and family. After 5 years that's not happening for you. She expected a ring on vday and you know that. That's why it's over. She's not a lesbian. She dumped you because you were coasting along going nowhere.
    1 point
  33. Sorry this happened. You were together since she was 14? Unfortunately you'll have to give her space. Are you friends with her family? It seems like you've been together way too long and way to young. She was playing with dolls at 14. You both are need some time apart to grow. It sounds like she feels suffocated.
    1 point
  34. If you are in love with someone else, break up with the BF.
    1 point
  35. Well it was her that broke up with you so I wouldn't reach out to her myself. I think if she wanted you back it's actually up to her to contact you. You are the dumpee so she knows you would have wanted to continue the relationship. She probably hasn't updated social media yet because it feels crap to have lots of people commenting on your break up and contacting you about it. You get a lot of unwanted attention when you break up so she may have stalled updating social media for that reason.
    1 point
  36. You really need to end it with her and never speak to her ever again. You are being both emotionally and physically abused! You seem to think this is OK because you're a man and she's a petite woman. If it was a female friend of yours telling you that her boyfriend was doing this to her, what would you think? You'd think the guy is an abuser and scumbag, right? Just because your girlfriend is a woman doesn't change anything. Why do you want to be with someone who treats you like this!
    1 point
  37. "I grew up and he didn't". How I see all of this is, yes, he was very much into you, but I think he started to feel some intense pressure's and came to realize he couldn't do marriage, so he backed out - which was not a nice move on you 😞 (yes, was hist fault to even go there) . Reality kicked in - being from different countries, etc. You went back home and he's continuing his studies, yes? So, you are also at different stages. He's got a while to go, still? So, is most likely, a combination of issue's sitting on him... came to a point, he felt he could not do marriage- l
    1 point
  38. He cut back because he thinks he's created a monster. Just be chill and see where it takes you.. carry on as normal, don't talk about this anymore...hopefully it's water under the bridge.
    1 point
  39. This is so toxic. Separate please and don't get back together with her. Both of you are ruining each other and ultra dependent on the other. What kind of advice could you possibly get after you've listed how horrible this relationship is? None of it seems right or healthy or safe.
    1 point
  40. You have figured out when a relationship is very important to you is when these fears start to manifest themselves which is good. This isn't a general fear, it is specific. The more important the more fear. For the most part we all don't want our relationship to end (I am sure there are people right now hoping the next fight ends it for them) but that is a desire or want. We want to be in a healthy committed relationship instead of turning it into a insecurity. That is what this is really, you are insecure in relationships and the next argument makes you fear they will call it quits
    1 point
  41. Well... i caught my ex wife cheating on me The question was what you did for your GF, and you went into a historic rant about YOU. That sounds like the core of the problem. GF spent a full day knocking herself out for you, and you made her feel lousy because she didn't meet an expectation that you piled onto that. If you choose to continue this relationship, I would make a point of making this up to her--and stop making it all about you. Otherwise, you're leaving this thing nowhere to go.
    1 point
  42. Is she medicated and being treated? Hint: please adjust your title people are not “ a bipolar” that is ableist and disturbing. People who have bipolar disorder have a chemical imbalance and NEED to be medicated and have psychiatric care for life. My father was bipolar 1 and had a VERY difficult life and lost everything and everyone and even his life due to bad mental health.
    1 point
  43. Sorry this is happening. Cut your losses and save yourself a lot of headaches and heartaches. She's much too unstable to date. This will only get worse. Listen to the psychologist. You're hanging on to a perpetual landmine, because of two bad reasons. You either think she'll change or you crave drama as a distraction from what's going on with you.
    1 point
  44. Agree. You got rolled up in a rebound. It's the worst. Been there, done that. That blissful euphoria that you experienced with him was his coping mechanism for dealing with the demise of his marriage. You can tell this is the case from the abrupt way in which it completely evaporated when his divorce was finalized and reality could no longer be denied. I doubt he will return. He may not have intentionally used you, but that is what happened anyway. In time, you will give up on him and feel better. There's no shortcut here, unfortunately. In the future, avoid men who are r
    1 point
  45. What is the meaning of he need space??? It doesn't needs for head over heels in love. If you really want to try on this relation then ask him directly and be prepared for whatever will his answer.
    1 point
  46. Good thing I don't have daughters. I have nieces and thankfully, their parents taught them how to be safe. Women being on their guard may sound like a farce to men who think women are "paranoid," but it's no joke when men are untoward with women anywhere from harassment to assault all under the veneer of naive women being at the wrong place at the wrong time or just plain "unlucky." I've had scary incidents in my past such a being followed on the way home from school, neighbor guys calling me into their garages and houses and fortunately, my guard was up and I ran in the opposite
    1 point
  47. I agree. This guy used you as a therapist, sex partner. Etc... to move on from the ex. You don’t want more of this mess, you need to remove him from the pedestal. in the future, do not get involved with someone immediately out of a relationship, must especially a married man. Also, wait a least a year before moving in with someone, as you can see, insta-relationships rarely work. sorry, but this is done!
    1 point
  48. My friend's boyfriend broke up with her for a period of 4 months, the first 2 months she went through severe depression. She had lost so much weight. After a while she realized that her current bf/then ex seemed to be happy, he wasn't starving himself, he wasn't going through depression so why should she? It was only when she completely let go that he came back! They had absolutely NO contact for 4 months.
    1 point
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