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Showing content with the highest reputation on 01/21/2021 in all areas

  1. Points- - He's like your 'friend'. - lack of sex/ sexual attraction. Your 'crush' could very well be because of your 'lack; in your present relationship. BUT, although you have a thing for this guy- does NOT mean persue anything! - He is not available, is he? Then completely leave it all alone! (respect for him- them). I suggest you consider being honest with your bf, that not all is well- as you know you two have some real differences. (your future/ kids etc). And consider getting out of this, so you can BOTH move on with your lives.. But, do not keep on ab
    3 points
  2. I found this on cheezburger.com If you ever want to be cheered up and you're an animal lover that site will do the trick.
    3 points
  3. For some reason, this photo always makes me happy:
    3 points
  4. You've been studying I see 🙂 Greek nurture, American nature, you are a special hybrid 🙂 They are all good but pastitsio and spanakopita are the mouth-watering ones. Usually I eat the whole baking tray (and run three marathons to burn the calories afterwards lol). Greek food has countless calories and it's so freakin time consuming to make. Not for me. I like eating, not cooking (or cleaning afterwards lol). Tiropita is mouth-watering too if you make it with home made phyllo otherwise it is "only" good. MB, what do you mean by making food from scratch? All the home made dishes are f
    2 points
  5. Keep it professional. Don't talk about personal stuff or chitchat outside of work. Of course you realize you're coasting along in a relationship of convenience with your bf and are not really compatible. Reflect what you want in life outside of this crush. He seems more like a projection of general dissatisfaction with your bf as a long term partner. .
    2 points
  6. Rather than getting involved in a "Don't shoot the messenger" situation, you're better off staying out of it. In scenarios such as this, you have a chance of becoming the enemy, where the other person comes out smelling like a rose. Another way to look at is, give her enough rope and she'll hang herself.
    2 points
  7. This sounds disturbing and I'm sorry. I think you should seek counseling because the burden of this is too much for one person looking in to shoulder. Don't bottle this up. It's clear you're very bothered and very upset. Please don't bottle this up. Seek professional counselling or therapy for this so you have a safe place to talk and gain some insight into your own emotions and thoughts. It's just the first step but definitely don't bottle this.
    2 points
  8. My grandma was a super good cook and was a house keeper for a doctor in Montreal in the 1930’s. She was also the cook at a logging camp when my grandfather was a lumberjack. However, she didn’t teach my mom because my grandma was an UBER control freak who wanted no one in her kitchen . She passed over 40 years ago now and I only know two of her recipes. But my mom‘s cousin who recently passed was a chef and did a lot of Acadian dishes. My mom’s family is Acadian .
    2 points
  9. I agree with Wiseman. Also you just never know what on earth is truly going on. A lot of TBI's (traumatic brain injuries) result in the person's personality dramatically changing... it's not uncommon for them to be abusive (verbally/emotionally and even physically). Not that any of that excuses her having an affair, but you don't know what's really going on behind closed doors after something dramatic like that. If I were in your shoes... I think I'd stay clear away from her and her gossip/slander etc. Try to stay out of it 100% and just watch and wait for what will eventually
    2 points
  10. My grandmother was terrible at cooking normal food, but she was great at desserts. My mom became a very good cook through sheer natural skill. I never appreciated it until I tasted other parents' cooking after I became an adult. She doesn't always follow recipes, so I am sure she'll be doing a lot of cooking and writing when I ask her. My great aunts were the same way as my mother--no recipes. From Greece, they brought with them ingrained knowledge of how to bake pastitsio, keftedes, spanakopita, kalitsounia, tiropitas, baklava, kourabiedes, koulourakia. They lead the cooking process for
    2 points
  11. A general rule of thumb is that if it feels inappropriate to you (flirting or crossing some line), then it's probably good to honor those feelings and not respond.
    2 points
  12. See all of that is why I love not having social media ❤️ Less drama. (I see Wiseman was confused by my reaction I mean less drama in that not seeing the extremist post to begin with, and not having those intense emotions wanting to respond to it, is less drama overall for me as a woman. Batya reacted very well!!! But I feel like I avoid all of those negative emotions when I don't even have to chance to see a crazy relative's extremist post (and then want to process it with my husband or other people so that the emotions go away). A comparative example for the OP would be blockin
    2 points
  13. So you can have a feeling and choose not to react. We do that every day especially as adults. If I choose not to have the piece of dark chocolate I want I sometimes feel really deprived. I've come up with ways to combat that other than having chocolate and I plan in advance what those will be. Like, I drink water, or I do something distracting. Whatever. Messaging the man who gives you attention is just a short term bandaid. You as an adult need to come up with alternatives you can do if you feel a certain way that do not involve a bad or sabotaging choice. Yesterday I badly wanted to
    2 points
  14. I agree with the professional help. The is not healthy, I am surprised your partner puts up with this.
    2 points
  15. Think very carefully if you want a family with someone who brings this much crisis, chaos and conflict into your life. "Blames her"? He is the root of the problem.
    2 points
  16. No, no, no. That was a mistake, and you should not be putting yourself on hold for this man. He is making it clear that he doesn't want a relationship so it is not wise to give him the impression that you'll hang around in the wings. You haven't dated him, it seems, so there is no reason why you should be extending the benefit of your patience. He has given you several reasons why this won't work: issues with his ex, his mental health problems, and so on. This is where you need to read between the lines, and make your exit. No more get-togethers, and certainly not with your kids in
    2 points
  17. It's best to stay out of it. Shut down any conversations with her or office hearsay and gossip. No matter how angry you are with her, it's not your job to tell her husband. That's her job. Don't make thier tragedy, poor marriage or thier personal problems your mission. Stay in your own lane.
    2 points
  18. Glad to hear it. Their friendship was pretty inappropriate. Frankly, you should have nixed this friendship from the very beginning, but I know you probably didn't realize what you were dealing with. I had a similar situation with my boyfriend, except there were two girls--both exes 😅😅 Actually, there were three exes sniffing around, but one really wasn't a problem. Two were a pain in the ass. One of these two (Beth) was a particular pain in the ass--portraying herself as the friend, always calling for stupid reasons, like "I was supposed to bake a lasagna and I forgot. Tee-hee.
    2 points
  19. Sounds like you have a good handle on this. Good luck!
    1 point
  20. I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I know you said you don't want anyone telling you to dump him etc, so I'll speak for myself only. If my partner did that to me I know for a fact there is no way I could ever trust him again. For me, the biggest and main reason why I would leave is the fact that he has betrayed me for over two YEARS. For me, that's unforgivable. It's not like it only last a week. He has totally disrespected and betrayed you for over TWO YEARS. I could never look at him again - it would make me want to puke. Make me sick. I would never want to rebuild anything with
    1 point
  21. I don't know if someone telling you something embarrassing or bad, necessarily means they're being so honest. There could be a seed of truth. To see how a person reacts. But the actual truth is much worse. Maybe he really sees prostitutes regularly, when he doesn't have a partner or if that partner is unavailable. He may not see this as a problem- for him, personally, but he knows it's not cool with others. This would be a deal breaker for me. I judge this pretty harshly from a moral perspective, especially as it is abusive to the sex workers. Let alone diseases, drug use, an
    1 point
  22. Well he was honest so there is that right? How common it is would depend. Is it legal where you are? Is the stigma on sex workers non existent? Have a talk with him and see if this is a pattern or a one off thing and go from there. I am sure after you talk you will know what to do. I have to give him credit, I pride myself on my honesty and I don't know if I would have dropped that bomb ever. Lost
    1 point
  23. Ok . Your BF doesn't need to nose into all this. You can have whatever good friends you want. This conversation certainly doesn't warrant your BFs suggestion that "you need therapy".
    1 point
  24. Sure. We usually talk about my work, school or sports. A small example: Them: “How is work going? Do you like it? I’m sure it’s going great because your super smart” Me: “Great. How did [insert large life event] go?” Them: “fantastic” etc etc Nothing sexual or even inappropriate. It’s more them showing that they care by asking questions about my life.
    1 point
  25. Interesting thing to admit 2 months in... I get why you would want other peoples opinions but like Blue mentioned this is for you to decide. I see it as you want to continue seeing him and would like some reassurances that you are doing the right thing. Am I close? If it was a solid dealbreaker he would be gone and you would be posting how disappointed you are that you had to cut him loose because of this. For the record the answer from me is no I have never paid for sex. Reason? Never was so desperate that it sounded like a good idea I guess not to mention I like my junk the w
    1 point
  26. How are you feeling about this? What questions do you have, for him? I think those are the questions to be focusing on right now, rather than wondering if a random internet dude like me has paid for sex or not, and how that information lands with random dudettes. How'd this come up, anyhow? Were you asking about his sexual history? Or did he feel he needed to tell you this about himself?
    1 point
  27. I second seeking prof help. I feel you are either lacking, and/ or striving for an overly amount of attention & approval. BUT, you have your partner... so you shouldn't have that 'need' for more attention. Is an insecurity or something. ( Or a type of 'addiction'?. where you have it but 'need more'). Which is not normal, but a problem. - as mentioned, can become an issue w/ your partner, eventually. If you can get in for therapy, dig deep and see IF it's something underlying (or not), at least you can work through some issue's and learn to either respond in a bette
    1 point
  28. How are these men getting your personal phone number?
    1 point
  29. All problems of this nature are complex. That doesn't make them excuses. I think you understand that. I'm surprised, too. You may love him dearly, but do you respect him? Because what you are doing is very disrespectful to him
    1 point
  30. Wow that's amazing about your family's recipes, Jibralta 😮 And yes, I understand the strange quantity thing lol, like, "two fingers of water," LOL when that literally means getting about two fingers wet and splashing the dough or something (?) - just funny! That is wonderful they were able to get them written down eventually before they passed on.
    1 point
  31. Of course you should block them all. How would you like your partner to do this to you? There are many things that I want to do, but don't, as it is detrimental myself and others. I think that you need to stop using your dad as an excuse for your behavior. You are an adult an need to make the necessary changes out of respect to your partner, and yourself.
    1 point
  32. Is this part of the reason you continue the relationship with your mentor?
    1 point
  33. What happens if you stop doing it?
    1 point
  34. My ex didn't love me. He just wanted to keep me around so he wouldn't have to be alone and do without sex and companionship. Every time I wasn't right there with him he was either with someone else or trying to be with someone else. Including his so called ex. I saw the messages. One in particular stands out in my mind..."Wish I was there with you, I'm nothing without you". Sent the night before I stayed overnight with him. And this went on for 4 years. So no, the number of years they stay "with" you isn't an indicator they love you. Especially since this alleged ex isn't nearby and readi
    1 point
  35. I was just thinking that I need to get my mom to write down her recipes for me.
    1 point
  36. I don't think anyone is totally okay with something doesn't work out. Even if the other person was horrible it all started with some hope and attraction right? You are disappointed which is totally normal, you are lonely and the prospect of that ending raised you up higher than you should of allowed but that is normal too. It sounds like you could use a friend right? So don't look at this as you lost a sex buddy but that you are gaining a friend. You describe yourself in a way that is negative but the color of your skin is not a negative. Being 36 certainly is not a negativ
    1 point
  37. OMG, reinvent! adorable!
    1 point
  38. I don't agree he's necessarily that bad/evil. It's possible he's just immature and can learn from this finally. I agree with this though. The only way to tell if he's, "learned," from it and matured about this now, is to watch his actions moving forward. If he crosses that boundary and you find out he's contacted her, or gone to her house, or anything, I think that'd be the time to leave and repair yourself without him in your life at all.
    1 point
  39. That's normal for this type of thing. Tons of angry text messages or emails. I think this is normal for this type of person's reaction (and it's abusive). You can't reason with a crazy person. No, she doesn't care you lost the baby. I like this piece of advice. IF he goes back to her house (!!) or unblocks her etc. that's a huge sign that you're not his priority at all, and he's ok with this crazy lady causing drama. If he crosses this boundary with a crazy (possibly unsafe) person again, you'll need to break up and find someone with better sense.
    1 point
  40. Yes, you're right. But what if I never meet anyone again 😞 and maybe that's irrational, but that's how I feel. I haven't had anyone even look at me in 3 years. The odds are completely against me.
    1 point
  41. It's not about the cat. You two are just incompatible on so many levels.
    1 point
  42. Don't rescue him. You need to calm down. Quell your angst and step out of the spotlight. He has his people around. Try not to feel so threatened. Let him vent. Why won't you send flowers or a food basket to him/his family?
    1 point
  43. She's having midlife fun. It doesn't matter what her friends do or where they live. It doesn't matter that she enjoys drinking dining out etc. What matters is that this seems to make you quite incompatible as you don't approve of her lifestyle and it seems like a stark contrast to being a struggling single parent.
    1 point
  44. Maybe she just needed to have the talk you guys had and will chill out a bit. I really honestly though don’t see this working out as far as her dog and your cat and her telling you to give up your job, location and cat. I get compromise but you having to bend more to her liking isn’t fair. I’m glad you told her about the neediness let’s just see if she can back off. Usually neediness just doesn’t go away just like that. It’s a character flaw the person has to work on. I think her co dependency isn’t going to help you guys either. That will only improve once she st
    1 point
  45. Yes, this. OP, this man is awful. But you already know this, I think. You need to get yourself emotionally-healthy before you can enjoy a truly loving relationship. Otherwise, you will continue to gravitate toward disturbed weirdos. Please, block this person. He's not someone you should even be talking to.
    1 point
  46. This is me and my hubs to a T. Even married for 9 years. Known eachother since our teens. And two kids under 9. And same dynamic, except I work full-time, and with the pandemic, works part-time. But the voice thing? Thug? I don't get her point. I think she's daydreaming about some dumb actor or movie life. Cuz you know what, you can be the most dynamic planner, charismatic, and the biggest cheater, womanizer on the planet. This is the definitely a case of you both need marriage therapy! And in the meantime, I don't care how little you feel or that you might or will be judge, hire a da
    1 point
  47. It sounds a lot more complicated than it actually is 😂
    1 point
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