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Showing content with the highest reputation on 11/06/2020 in all areas

  1. "I can't feel any joy or escape from loneliness." Try not to run before the loneliness as if it were a pursuer. Turn and face it down, and go through it, not around it. Identify the times of day (or night) when that wave is hitting you hardest, and plan in advance some strategy to chase off the loneliness. All the best.
    2 points
  2. Terrible advice. Find another doctor. How long did you date before marrying? So many red flags before marrying. Him telling you he wanted a family and marriage, yet you were near strangers. Didn’t you see the dynamic of his family while dating? What did you do when he told you to cut off your mom? You should have bailed then. Get a divorce and learn from this. You are in a abusive situation and this damaging for your kid! There is no future with this guy! What you see is what you get!
    2 points
  3. That's just gross -I don't even know if I'd want to be close friends with someone with those sorts of values. I'm sure he objectifies women in other ways too. I think he should be with someone who has the same kind of habits on IG or social media. It's not social media that's the issue- it's how he uses it.
    1 point
  4. Change only begins to happen when people acknowledge there is a problem. Your husband isn't even close to realizing it. His desire is to convert you to his and his families way a thinking. If you have to live this way indefinitely would that be ok? Because short of some sort of radical intervention, you're outnumbered here. I remember not wanting my kids to come from 'a broken home. But the reality is divorced families are more normal than not. At first my mindset was like yours. I wanted to stay for my kids. In the end - my choice was to leave FOR my kids. Your child is
    1 point
  5. Keeping your child in this environment is damaging. Don’t make your child pay for your poor decisions. Get away from these people!
    1 point
  6. Character is when a person is very decent, loyal, honorable, devoted, moral and possesses integrity when you're not looking over his shoulder. Love does not conquer all, unfortunately. CHARACTER does matter because it's the only thing that endures.
    1 point
  7. Why can't you just date him without marrying him? Put a limit to the micromanaging and gram issues.
    1 point
  8. I entirely agree: "...we should be able to speak our minds in a relationship.." And spontaneity is wonderful. However, speaking one's mind and being upfront and honest is very different from going on the attack.
    1 point
  9. Your boyfriend has a roving eye. He will not change for you. Either accept him as he is or find a replacement who knows how to behave with honor, morals and integrity ~ especially behind your back.
    1 point
  10. I agree with others. Seek a different psychologist, not a psychiatrist. Consult an attorney as well. Your husband and your in-laws are very manipulative, your husband kowtows to his parents and he's chauvinistic. Since it's pointless talking to your husband and you're thinking of ending things, then go with your common sense.
    1 point
  11. Sorry to hear this. You are unfortunately in an abusive relationship. You have just about every red flag there is listed in this short post from quick involvement to trying to isolate you from family. You need to read up on that and tell your trusted friends and family what is happening. You also need to confidentially and privately talk to an attorney about divorce and child support and supervised visitation. Privately and covertly start severing things. Have important mail sent to trusted friends/family. Sever whatever financial things you can. Change ALL the passwords on ALL you
    1 point
  12. You need a different psychologist. You know this isn't working and it's time to end it.
    1 point
  13. Nothing to add to what DF said: "Your entire relationship, the whirlwind romance and a fast push for marriage....OP...you are learning the very hard way that this is not the stuff of dreams and romance, but how all nightmares begin. Please get out, get away and get really good legal support before life gets much much worse for you and your child." And here was the big red flag: "Right away in the relationship he expressed his wish to marry me and start a family."
    1 point
  14. You are joking....please get a new psychiatrist....one that actually specializes in personality disorders and can recognize the danger signs. The one you spoke with is pretty much a clueless quack. Trying to isolate you from your family, friends, your support system is the first stages of abusive relationships. Next step is control. Be it direct or through his family, the apple never falls far from the tree. Your entire relationship, the whirlwind romance and a fast push for marriage....OP...you are learning the very hard way that this is not the stuff of dreams and romance, but how
    1 point
  15. I don't think it's stupid at all. What you are finding out is that you and him don't share the same values and relationship boundaries. Basically, he cares more about IG than you and your relationship. Pay attention to that, stop arguing and decide - either you are going to roll over and accept this and stop all arguments or you need to dump him because this really isn't acceptable to you. You are not going to change him or force him to respect you. If it was really just a thing while he was single, he'd have no problem unfollowing and there would be no arguments about that because he wou
    1 point
  16. That's a bummer but when one door closes... Whatever you choose, I'm sure you'll make the best of it. Hang in there, dias!
    1 point
  17. Wow, great photo. What a place, Lord of the Rings was filmed there?
    1 point
  18. Data Science ≠ Dias Data Science Dias Data Science != Dias Dias – Data Science -> not a match Data Science – Swipe left – Dias Data Science – unrequited love – Dias Dias unlucky in career life I didn’t pass to the next round of interviews in this job in London. They don’t give feedback, too many candidates to provide feedback. Neither do I want to ask. “You are not our cup of tea” is not constructive feedback. I have some acquaintances who are data engineers/scientists and have worked with me in the past and they don’t believe me “Come on, you are kidding right?”. Well, no
    1 point
  19. Ditto what Dancing Fool said. You are not compatible and hanging onto what once was it holding you both back. This is the slow motion break up. Sooner or later she will meet someone and it will need to end so why not do it now and save both of you the slow death of the friendship/relationship. Send a nice message or call her on the phone and end things on the best possible terms with love and empathy. Lost
    1 point
  20. Keeping hydrated is key. Your concerns should be discussed with her practitioner, or you can go to a family planning website for more helpful information.
    1 point
  21. I didn’t tell him off, I was just upset that I hadn’t been feeling like a priority anymore! Cause unfortunately, most guys now, when they feel like they secured the girl down, they stop making efforts, and that’s what I felt, like: »Oh let me just take care of this and this and this, and I’ll talk to her later, no need to check up on her now, she’ll be there when I have time! » !!! That wasn’t the case when we first met and when he was still trying to show me he was serious. I had every right to feel frustrated and let it out. It wasn’t me me pushing him away but rather me telling him I felt l
    1 point
  22. That's how I read it as well. First he says this: Then he acts like that conversation never happened: That's crazy-making. Of course you're confused. Is this the same guy who was being insulting? Haven't you been seeing him since February/March? Didn't you give him an ultimatum in July? If that's the case, it's really been about 9 months... How long can he keep you dangling?
    1 point
  23. I think she's probably lonely and misses having a constant companion and that's why she still talks to you, OP. But this won't last. She doesn't want to get back together, and she's right - you two are wildly, fundamentally incompatible. Once she meets a new guy, she will fade and won't seek out your attention anymore. It's time to let go. This was never going to work out.
    1 point
  24. Your best recourse right now is to find your own affordable place and more importantly find income producing pursuits .
    1 point
  25. Eventually the disability/sexual preference/race/religion/etc card expires when it’s overused as a “crutch.” Don’t over patronize. People with ADHD are impulsive. But when they want to make something work, they are one of the most dedicated people to that particular goal. Impulsiveness doesn’t necessarily make you a s**y person. But cheating on your partner, who recently moved in from another state, does. OP needs to be held accountable for that.
    1 point
  26. I think the problem is that you make way too many excuses for bad people. Someone like him should not have made it so far into your life. You have to learn to close yourself off to people like this. It's wrecking you.
    1 point
  27. Agreed. So sick of people blaming their bad behavior on ADHD. It's given the whole thing such a bad rap. Used to be people didn't flinch when I told them I had it. Now they seem to equate it with Tourette's Syndrome and are stunned that I'm able to control myself in public. So annoying.
    1 point
  28. Sorry this happened. It hurts and you have to ride it out. You might not see it now, but an ending is beginning, too. Being with the wrong person does not leave room for the right person to come along. Hang in there. It's going go get better.
    1 point
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